AIBU to feel put off MN after all the Fruitshoot/fat judginess of PoM thread?

[FruitShootnSausageRolls]

I was brought up on organic wholefoods, years before anyone else I met had even heard of them, by a judgemental, grasping, superficial ignorant mother. I was horrified that my friends didn't know what 'crap' was in their foods, etc.

Fastforward to my 20s - I was drinking, smoking and frequently contemplating suicide and look worse for it, because of the emotional fall-out from various things -largely springing from my judgemental mother, while many 'crap-eating' school friends took care of themselves.

I didn't actually feel any inner peace or happiness until I met my partner and had kids in my 30s - with someone who knows nil about nutrition, and my judgemental mother clearly looks down her nose at him. I finally started to see how damaging my mother's attitude and values have been for me and it totally creeps me out to see this, and to hear her reiterate them over and over, (without any thought of how wildly different fortunes influence other people's decisions & presentation) and continue her cruel dismissal of others having value as human beings.

So now I give my kids the odd fruit shoot and sausage roll but prioritise their happiness above all, in order to try to give them a good psychological foundation for decision-making in their lives. But yesterday I was really upset and put off to think MN is full of women like my mother - sneering and judging me for giving my kids fruit shoots or sausage rolls in public, or the fact that I no longer look like my svelt teenage self. I still feel depressed about it. :(

I have never actually met anyone who has described sugar as poison. there was one thread where someone said they didn't keep the poison in the house and lots of people were saying "I do but only the least refined dark brown organic lentil flavoured and it is in a bomb proof safe with a time delay switch and alarm at the top of a really really high cupboard". Threads like that make me want to go straight out for a creme egg and a mcfluffy with extra sugar. Friut shoots are not as bad as the corina (fizzicle) orangeade I grew up on. never had a filling and as far as I know am not suffering from any type of toxicity.
But don't get depressed, it's entertaining and, very occasionally you learn something.

Fruit shoots are sugar syrup and Greggs sausage rolls are eyeballs, anuses and salt.

My DS loves McCoy's crisps and chocolate :)

I do understand, my mum still reduces me to tears sometimes and I'm 41!

I have tried very hard over the years to cultivate an 'ah fuck it' attitude and it does get easier every year, I'm sure it will for you too. Think of the judgy mums as practice for it!

Sugar syrup tastes lush so who actually cares a fig? Same with sausage rolls, the pig was killed anyway, what is the snobbery about using the whole carcass if it is safe to do so?

As someone who is violently and fundamentally opposed to the revolting way pigs are kept and slaughtered, I would prefer they didn't die in vain for the sake of a few farmer's market lentil woven Boden patterned sausages and then the rest chucked in the incinerator.

Fruit shoots piss me off because it's WATER, people, water with a dash of chemical shite in it and you have to PAY FOR IT! It's a Bug Bear of mine.

Greggs on the other hand, my kids don't like sausage rolls by there's not many weeks that go by where my kids don't have a Tottenham cake each, which is a slab of sponge the size of MY hand with neon pink icing on it, can only get in London Greggs I think, never seen them anywhere else.

I think it's tongue in cheek isn't it? Just something MN is "known" for.

fruit shoots are probably cheaper than bottled water. Especially at Heathrow where is about £2.50 for a bottle of Buxton. In Qatar same bottle imported from Scotland is about 15p.

I can't give my DD fruit shoots or greggs sausage rolls - she's a very militant veggie - her choice - & fruit shoots would make her very ill due to the additives.

There has been MANY a day when I wish I could though - it would be SOOOooo much easier & cheaper than the stuff I do have to buy if caught short when out & about.

I've never taken any of these anti threads seriously, always read it as the joke it is, with a few judgemental up their own arses bods thrown in for good measure & not really given 2 hoots either way - their lives, their prerogative.

Don't let your vision of your childhood make you so oversensitive though - its a massive mix of different people on here, some good, some bad - take out of that what you want & ignore what you don't

& your mother may have over done it, but did she actually mean you any harm ?? - I doubt it, sounds like she was trying to teach you good healthy eating values, but over did it & pushed you the other way - that really isn't something that you should allow to ruin you & make you so oversensitive

Fruit shoots? fruit shoots? I can't afford them. My kids get Aldi rip-off 'fruity shots'

Actually DS will only drink plain water, but that's because he's a fussy bugger, not because I've done anything. He also only eats about 5 different foods. So judge me, you women with the pants of judginess.

I had a Greggs cheese and onion pasty this morning, mmmmmmm.

My son has a "special" cupboard that I fill up with all manner of shiteunhealthy food which is raided constantly by my 14 year old DS and his mates

My mum has never eaten a vegetable in her life apart from frozen peas and very rarely eats fruit, she's 81 and in fine fettle.

I eat quite a lot of what's classed as shit coz I like it, I'm 50, just within my BMI (the way I like it) and am also it good condition.

Take no ruddy notice OP.

My child had Jelly babies for breakfast Fruit .

I'm with Brad Pitt who gives his kids coke to drink in the morning cos it keeps em quiet.

I disagree - there IS a better sausage roll ... Sayers Jumbo Veggie - absolute HEAVEN!

having tasted an actual FRUIT SHOOT myself, I concluded that they are indeed the work of the actual devil - I mean have you ever tasted one of the purple ones they sell in MacD's? One of the ingredients must be essence of evil.

DD loves them - I won't buy them but I wouldn't stop her having one at a party for example. She first had one at the cinema as a 2 year old - I didn't even think to try it - her uncle brought it for her. 20 min before the end of Princess and the Frog she vomited all over me, DP, in our bags, the floor and several plush velvet seats at the Empire Theatre, Leicester Square. Now THAT was a memorable bus ride home. After tasting one myself a year or so later, I understood why she was sick.

This is balanced out by DD1 actually thinking Greggs is called "The Sausage Roll Shop"

I think Fruit Shoots are open to having the piss taken out of them (and it does make me cross that MacDonalds, the "saviour of the Olympics", market this absolute shite to kiddies - it's not like there aren't plenty of alternatives available to them), and yes most of the comments here are tongue in cheek (but again I ask if you have ever tasted a purple one yourself???)

But I agree OP, there is nothing pretty or particularly healthy about extremes - whether in food 'choices', parenting, judgementalisim etc. Like you, I didn't manage to get my shit sorted WRT counterbalancing bad parenting, until well into my 30's :)

It is an MN joke.

Personally I don't like sausage rolls, but just because it is something I .just.Will.Not.eat (you have to draw the line somewhere, after all! .) I could not care less if anyone else wants to eat them, DH and teh DSs love them.

Being fat or thin, again, I don't care. Your choice.

other people being judgy about food is always amusing. I am not from the UK, and I was brought up with the idea that food is about enjoyment, sharing and love (yes, love). Not just ticking nutritional boxes. So all this food anxiety to me is like water of a ducks back, I don't share the angst.

also....maybe time to forgive your mother and move on. There is a time in life where you have to let it go (said in a hopefully helpful way)

"I will savour the grease in peace"

I am . I cannot eat pastry anymore, i cannot digest it without being in severe pain.

I watch others eat out of Sayers/Greg's bags, trying not to drool.

there are worse things to feed your kids - lettuce for example - I hate to admit it but I'm quite judgy about the parents of Tarquin mentioned above, probably because I had a similar upbringing OP

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I go all shock horror faint over fruit shoots, sausage rolls and mcdonalds - I am joking. making fun of the perception that the mere mention of such things has us MNers reaching for the smelling salts

Sayers - who are they? One of the independent bakers near me used to sell jumbo veggie sausage rolls, as did Morrisons, but they have all stopped making them.

I used to love them.

In all seriousness, I think it is a mistake to equate all people who dislike junk food/fruit shoots/greggs sausage rolls with your Mum.

Her fondness for organic wholefoods was not her whole being, obviously - she had some clearly unpleasant character aspects as well - but that doesn't mean that anyone who uses organic wholefoods is going to be as unpleasant as she is/was.

Your mum being judgemental and all the rest of it has affected you, clearly - but don't tar everyone with the same brush because of her! Look beyond the (often tongue-in-cheek) judgeypantsiness re. the fruitshoots (disgusting, I tried one, it was foul) and Greggs sausage rolls - they are NOT your mother.

Sayers was the original sellers of delicious stodge, but started to go out of business, so are now only in the North West.

We have pound bakeries now, you get any two pasties/rolls, or a pack of cakes, for a £1

You know I've never been in greggs!
I don't think I've ever lived anywhere there is one
I do buy sausages from the local baker though and will buy fruit shoots for a 'treat' if we're out. Can't afford it otherwise

I did have a little snigger the other week when my bf was takin my kids to the zoo and she asked if it was ok to give them crap like fruit shoots. I said it was fine but prepare to be judged. She had no idea so I know she's not a mner

"I said it was fine but prepare to be judged. She had no idea so I know she's not a mner"
that made me laugh!

I would seriously advise sticking around FruitShoots

I had a very weird up bringing, and once you learn to pick your way around MN, and what suits you it is actually very, very normalising.

I had no balanced yard sticks for my life, and will be eternally grateful to MN and the whole spectrum of characters on here for providing me with a chance to actually take a good look at my upbringing and realise where and how I needed to redress how things had affected me.

Personally I avoid the bun fights, I don't have the nature for them. But they are a unique aspect of the site and have their place. You van get advice on anything. From light hearted to the valuable threads on abuse, relationships issues, MH, SN children, Step Children.

There are long running threads, commonly known as 'quiche threads' where for me, I have etablished long standing friendships. I met one of my now closest friends on MN and we have weathered many storms together.

Don't go, Like Thjumb says much of it is Tongue in Cheek, and MN is reputed for certain aspects, like the judgey ness. But if you have a crisis, a bereavement, need support for anything, I think mostly it will surprise you with the depth of people's humanity and compassion.

xx

Some have suggested forgiving my mum or seeing that she was doing her best, etc...Thing is, I spent my life doing that and it was really bad for me. My mum cares more about what other people think than what is best for me or her grandchildren, and she did something quite recently that was too to go into here. She also continues to do insensitive things like ask hosts (who are struggling financially) really loudly whether the food they are serving is all organic - rather than S-ingTFU and politely putting a few toxins into her body that will be eliminated quite naturally by her kidneys and liver.

I don't judge people for eating organic - I try to do the best for my kids too -drawing the line where I see fit... Its more a post about how people being judgemental makes me feel depressed.