AIBU to think my dad could still be alive??

[TRexAndMole]

So 20 years ago my dad died of a brain condition. He went into a coma for two weeks in which I saw him regularly. I was then told he had died. I did not see his body and I did not go to the funeral as I was told it would be "too upsetting" for me. I was 11.

Fast forward and I'm an adult looking after a patient who lives entirely in a vegetated state. I never knew what had happened to him but was told it happened "about 20 years ago".

Today, I found out he'd had the same condition as my dad but survived - although medically, he should have died.

A few hours later I'm sat in the staff room mulling things over and it suddenly occurs to me - I never saw his body, I never went to the funeral. Nobody ever talks about him. Could he still be alive?? maybe they all told me he'd died because of the state he was left in. What if he's alive in some nursing home somewhere and I don't know?

I want to phone someone and question them but they'll think I'm having "an episode" and I don't want that.

AIBU to be suddenly suspicious?

FWIW Trex, my Dad died in an accident when I was 21, I had to I.D his body. It was him but it didn't look like him anymore (first time I'd seen anyone dead). Although I knew it was him I still doubted it and wondered if I'd somehow made a mistake and it was someone else. I have "seen" my Dad a few times in the years since, although it obviously isn't him, just similar looking people. But on these occasions I have always wondered if he's actually still alive. Like others have said, your patient isn't your Dad. But I don't think it's particularly bizarre or unusual that you would come to this conclusion.
I'm pleased you're feeling clearer about things today, take care.

DO NOT look in his medical records again unless you have a clinical reason to, you are not allowed to for personal reasons even with medical records which you can routinely access or write in for clinical reasons! TRUST ME!

OP I've looked after a man with shocking similarities to my father too, who survived what killed my dad, he had had the same hobbies, the same age, same amt of children.. all sorts. its jarring, of course it is, but it happens and it doesn't mean anything. Please get some RL support! x

and only look at the sections of his records which you have a clinical reason to

I don't think your manager would think you were wierd if you explained that it was difficult for you personally to look after someone with so many similarities to you dad and could you be allocated other patients if possible