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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

with the school?

96 replies

yeahbaby · 10/07/2012 09:35

of me buying a new pair of school shoes for ds1, (12) for the remaining 8 days of school?
just had to a call from the school saying ds1 is not in correct school uniform so will be keeping him in isolation for the day and will continue to do so until he has the correct uniform.
i sent him hin with a note saying he had to wear his ( black) trainers, as his school shoes got ripped yesterday, at school, and i was not buying new ones for the remaining 8 days of school.
how did they get ripped?
a bright spark teacher decided to do something fun with the kids on their last lesson with him, and got them running about in the gym, ( in a spanish lesson) and another child stepped on his shoe at the same time as he lifted his foot. baasically taking the sole off.
there is no way i am buying a new pair of shoes, that he will grow out of before going back in sept.
aibu or is the school?

OP posts:

stealthsquiggle · 10/07/2012 12:15

The "just buy cheap supermarket shoes" proponents obviously have DC with nice average shaped feet. I tried that with DS as he needed black lace ups for very occasional wear. It didn't take 8 days before he had blisters - it took half an hour before they were so bad matron covered his feet in dressings and told him to put trainers on.

OP I hope the school have now been in touch and sorted this out.

5madthings · 10/07/2012 12:20

stealth i said as such earlier, i would LOVE to be able to buy my boys cheap shoes but they just dont fit! its a pita tbh.

and yes op hope the school have been in touch, do let us know the outcome :)

pumpkinsweetie · 10/07/2012 12:24

The school is bu, 8 days left doesn't warrant buying new shoes.
Im glad my daughters school has a more relaxed attitude because my dd has done the same to her shoes!-ive sent her in with lace up boots and so far had no phonecall or anything!
They should realise people don't have money to waste on school shoes when summer hols is upon us

Nanny0gg · 10/07/2012 12:24

YANBU.

Noqontrol · 10/07/2012 12:24

I wouldn't buy new ones now. Complete waste of money.

financialwizard · 10/07/2012 13:37

I wouldn't be buying new ones for 8 days of school either. My DS has size 5 feet that are high arched and wide and I frequently (think once every three months tops) have to buy him new shoes because his feet have grown. They are never cheap, and I don't begrudge him them but 8 days before he finishes for the summer and I might.

Personally I would be giving the school a call and coming to a compromise that suits me

lollilou · 10/07/2012 14:19

OP I feel your pain! My dd has been in trouble for wearing black ballet flats just for one day a few months ago. I had to replace her school shoes again last week, I really really didn't want to but knew she wouldn't get away with wearing non-uniform shoes for nearly three weeks.There is no way these new ones will fit by Sept. I've told her to be v.careful with them so I can sell them on Ebay.

Buttwart · 10/07/2012 14:34

What's the outcome? Have the school backed down when you've explained the situation over the phone?

maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour · 10/07/2012 14:46

YANBU

The school are being unreasonable and twatty, normally I support schools in insisting on the correct uniform but this is silly

A friend of my sons went to school in trainers, they were mostly black but had a bit of blue and white on them. He had a note for wearing them (and a note from his doctor) because he had terrible eczema and his feet were wrapped in bandages because they were sore and bleeding. One teacher not only put him in detention for having the wrong shoes he coloured in the white and blue on the trainers with a marker pen and ruined them, the boys mum was not happy!

HeadsShouldersKneesandToes · 10/07/2012 14:54

YANBU, the school ABU. Definitely don't buy new shoes.

I would give them one more chance - explain to them, both verbally and in writing, that you will be removing him from school for the remainder of term if he is isolated from class for any more time at all due to this footwear situation which was due to an accident of their own responsibility.

They will not want to damage their truancy stats for the sake of something so trivial if they have any sense.

If they wo't budge, send him off to grandma/aunty/godparent or someone similarly fun for a week (assuming that you will be in work and can't just keep him at home)

Sunscorch · 10/07/2012 14:58

Misguided gym session?

I bet, if I searched the old posts from users in this thread, there would be complaints about boring lessons, or restrictive and irritating policies, or uninspiring teachers.

If a shoe falls apart because someone stood on it, it was clearly on its last legs anyway.

Dancergirl · 10/07/2012 15:01

Exactly sunscorch Who knows, maybe that teacher is really fantastic and inspiring? I wouldn't want him getting into trouble over a shoe.

Feminine · 10/07/2012 15:01

sun

pumpkinsweetie · 10/07/2012 15:03

blimey its bitchy on here today!
Shame as i always thought mumsnet was a place for friendly advice

5madthings · 10/07/2012 15:05

yes it was on its last legs, but it only had to last another 8 days, they gym session could well ahve been fun but its not hard to say to the kids wear proper shoes or even go bare foot, tho i bet bare foot isnt allowed nowadays (rolls eyes)

the fact is that the op shouldnt have to buy new shoes for 8 days, the trainers he is wearing are black and he has a note explaining the situation from his parent so he shouldnt be being punished and putting him in isolation is quite a sevre punishment in my sons high school that is for kids that are badly behaved i class, get frequent detentions etc, not just for wearing the wrong soddin shoes!

mockingjay · 10/07/2012 15:06

The teacher shouldn't get into trouble, but neither should the OP's DS, who has already had a day in exclusion. If the school had any sense, neither would be in any trouble.

I bet the school backs down when it goes to HoY/Head. Surely they can't all be insane.

Cabrinha · 10/07/2012 15:25

Isn't running in Spanish a red herring? Does he change his shoes at break time? Sounds like they could just as easily have fallen apart in the playground running around. In which case, if they are decent shoes (think you mentioned you have to buy more expensive ones as he has flat/wide feet) can you take them back for replacement?

Also the hours you work are a red herring too - he's 12, is he not capable of going to buy some himself?

However, I am with you that as they grow so fast, it's silly to buy new ones in the last week and it would be better for the school to relax the rules.

WhatWouldMargoDo · 10/07/2012 15:45

Yanbu at all, school are being ridiculous.

nickelbarapasaurus · 10/07/2012 16:01

YANBU.
regardless of how they were damaged, he shouldn't be missing out on education.

it's not that long ago when children were lucky to be in school uniform because their parents couldn't afford that clothes/shoes.
it's not that long ago that a lot of schoolchildren didn't have shoes at all.

the school are being overzealous and have overreacted.
and they've ignored your note too - they're punishing him for your actions when you have told them why you've done that.

8 days! ffs.

Megatron · 10/07/2012 16:16

The school are being ludicrous and anyone who thinks you should buy a new pair of shoes for the remaining 8 days needs their head read.

firawla · 10/07/2012 16:25

school is bu

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