To have my wedding on a Friday and make the guests take time off work/ primary school?

[Ambivalence]

I am getting married this spring, the original plan was to have a religious ceremony in our local (very small) temple on the Friday for both families and my parents friends ? about 50 people, then go to a hotel for a meal (mini reception) that afternoon. Then reception for our 100 of our friends ( piss up) on the Saturday, at my old uni.

My mother has managed to find a (gorgeous) wedding venue with a capacity of 200 where we could have the religious ceremony and a reception, so we could invite everyone, the only problem is it is only available on the Friday. If we had our wedding ceremony and reception there, we could invite all our friends to the ceremony, and just have one reception ? which clearly appeals to me in terms of cost, as it would basically halve my mother?s costs ( she has offered to pay for the whole thing).

Is it unreasonable to expect people to take Friday off work ( half the guests will be coming from Holland and would need to fly in on the Thursday evening, take the Friday off work and take their children out of school for a day).

I guess another option is to change the date of the wedding to a Saturday when it is available, but we had our hearts set on the date ( just after easter). Am finding it difficult to strike a balance between pleasing my mother and my fiancé, and the guests and getting a bit stressed about it all...

I got married the Friday before Xmas in London, when both our families are Irish. Everyone came. It was only a small wedding though, and logistically it was easier to do in London than Ireland. But I wouldn't have been offended if people weren't able to come.

We had our blessing on a Friday (got married abroad and had big church blessing and reception after) and let people know the date several months in advance. Invited about 70-80 to church and everyone came, and even more came in the evening too.

Just don't be upset if people can't make it, but no prob;em with a Friday otherwise.

I had a Friday wedding and eveyone we invited came. We also asked some people from down south (we are NE) if they would like to come for the evening and they all travelled up (about 30 of them) for the evening part and stayed all weekend.

I got married on a Friday, in a registry office. We used the song Friday I'm in love - by the cure.

All our guests took the time off to come and enjoyed the fact that they had a long weekend.

My daughter had her wedding on a Friday a couple of weeks ago, only one couple out of 100 guests couldn't get the time off, and two teachers and a head teacher were able to come (not from the same school!) So many people work weekends now that a Saturday wedding can be just as difficult for some, although obviously there isn't the problem of taking children out of school.

Having recently gone through the whole planning process and family invitation 'politics' I have to say go with what you both want, as it is just impossible to please everyone:-)

Your not unreasonable to have a wedding when you want it...
but you are being unreasonable if you expect people to take time off work.

Remember some people may not be able to request the time off because they may have poor attendance already/ job on the line. Some may not wish to take time off for a wedding. Some people may lose pay for taking off work or even a days holiday.

Just be prepared :)