To refuse my BIL's and SIL's access to my children.

[121leah]

Long story short is that we are in a lot of debt. About £25000 which was ran up when my DH was out of work for a year. We have a £10000 loan and the rest is things such as catalouges which we sold all of the goods off to pay things such as rent and buy food etc and a few from next and Argos which where used to clothe DD's and buy some small birthday/Christmas gifts. This is all in DH's name and we have been slipping behind in payments to the catalouges etc, but we always keep up the loan repayments.
Anyway., DH still gets some mail to his parents house so his brother decided to take it upon himself and open all his mail. Found out how much debt we are in and start a huge fight.
All his other brothers and sisters have now joined in and said its all my fault and as his parents have sometimes borrowed us about £30 once in a while I am taking everybody for a "ride".
Please bear in mind I no longer have any engagement/wedding rings as they where sold to pay bills etc.
This has all came on to me because I spent £80 on some clothes online for my DD's which I can afford because I sold other clothes, which I do every few months, I don't lay out anybody's money on these and DH does not pay for them.
Well anyway I have now told them all not to speak to me and I want nothing more to do with any of them as whatever I do is seen as ripping people off and being a cow so I just want to sever all ties now, I have told DH he will have to pick a side eventually as they have stated that they will help him if I'm not in the picture and basically now he has an ok paying job to leave me and concentrate on himself.

My question is actually this : AIBU in not allowing them to come to my home to see my children, or allow them to take them out?
I have said to DH he is more than welcome to take the children to his parents house whenever he likes for them to see DD's they are just not allowed near me nor my home to upset me any further. Is this unreasonable?

Thanks :)

No I was responding to the poster that asked if she was wrong to still have an account registered to her parents property. I responded to THAT particular circumstance where there is no mention of the bank being aware. The use of the word 'still' in her first post implies she hasn't changed it. Not that the bank were aware.
I hope that's ok with you. I also stated the bank should be update, which yours were.

The use of the word 'always' is a blanket term. If you only meant to refer to people in certain circumstances, you didn't phrase it properly.

That is an awful lot of catalogue debt! Not normal.

It have been better to have got clothes through charity shops/car boots or accept second hand off friends and not buy gifts. Theres no need to spend money at argos at all. Keep to neccesities only - food/gas and electic bills.

The best thing you can do is find an evening job to help pay things off and get your finances back on track. If course you aren't going to leave your DH. Of course you are with in your rights to not see IL's but my gut reaction is that they are very shocked about the situation. I expect you are to blame but DH is also probably - he should have put his foot down! It's easier for IL's to point the finger at you as you ain't blood!

Having had a similar situation with a person very much in debt, perhaps his family were also concerned that he might have taken out a second mortgage on parents' property without them knowing...

The OP needs to stop focussing on the family feud aspects- and a) get all mail re-directed to their own property b) contact a debt relief agency such as CCCS immediately to sort their debt problems out.

Flange catch yourself on. I said the bank should ALWAYS have your up to date bank details. In your case they did, because you had spoken to them. I didn't say the account paperwork should ALWAYS be sent to your home address.
I don't really see how derailing the thread is making you feel better. You said you spoke to the bank, different circumstances. My use of always was correct.
I would say you didn't read it properly. Note the comma mid sentance.

No Dprince you didn't write it properly. There aren't a lot of shades of grey with the use of the term 'always', whether you like it or not. If you don't think the bank should always have a current address, you can use other words that don't mean without exception. As for derailing, I thought you might say that, but commenting on something you had already said is not derailing it. If you didn't want people to discuss whether the bank should always have the right address, you had the option of not writing that sentence.

Please goto your local CAB and get some assistance with the debt