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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for feeling like a freak because we rent?

77 replies

2to3 · 08/07/2012 19:57

Fell in love and got pregnant before finances were ever really discussed. Went from sling to well off, had some savings, but then recession hit and we're barely getting by. Have great kids, strong marriage, a bit of cc debt but not very much, same with savings. We live in SW London surrounded by property we could never afford. Paying crazy rent and feeling sad/like a freak that we still haven't bought anywhere and maybe never will. I know I'm not alone but I do feel we are unusual for not having bought yet (late 30s) and quite vulnerable as the economy is in deep shit. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
2to3 · 08/07/2012 19:58

Went from skint, not sling doh Grin

OP posts:
HecateHarshPants · 08/07/2012 20:00

Yes. Renting your home from the mortgage company with the hope of getting your hands on it when you're 65 and selling it when you're 70 to pay for your nursing home isn't that much better than renting Grin

ErikNorseman · 08/07/2012 20:01

YABU :) lots of 30somethings rent. My parents rented until they were late 40s. Look at it this way, you don't have huge debt, you can move where the jobs are if necessary, and you don't have to stress about repairs. I know renting is less than perfect but it's nothing to be ashamed of. We aren't really a nation of homeowners even if it seems that way and don't feel bad about living within your means!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 08/07/2012 20:02

YABVU! I own, but I can't believe that anyone except multi millionaires can afford to buy in London. Prices there are just stupid.

You would probably be able to buy if you lived a bit further out, but owning is far too overrated.

QuintessentialShadows · 08/07/2012 20:03

We are also currently renting in SW London, where homes start at 800k for a decent 3 bed with garden, and rents range from 2.5k to 6k pcm.

But we own a house a stones throw away, where you can get a 3 bed terrace for around half the price. Sure, not as flash looking, but still.

So I guess it is a lifestyle choice as much as anything. The flash neigbhourhood or the less flash one, where houses are affordable?

Hassled · 08/07/2012 20:03

I think the UK obsession with owning property is quite unusual compared to the rest of Europe - far more common to never buy/always rent in countries like France and Germany. And it's far from the sound financial investment it once was, isn't it - our house will be worth tuppence by the time the kids inherit it.

Mrsjay · 08/07/2012 20:05

but nobody except maybe Jimmy carr Wink can afford to own a house outright especially in london so you as somebody else said renting off the bank , I rented for nearly 16 yrs with 2 children before we bought a house and we bought it from the LA so really for peanuts, yabu

GwendolineMaryLacey · 08/07/2012 20:06

I don't know, it's quite an appealing thought...

We have a mortgage and a tiny house. If we sold up, we'd have a reasonable amount of equity and would pay a similar amount to the mortgage in rent. I do sometimes wonder if we wouldn't be better off having some money in our pockets, savings and something for the girls to see them through university if they choose to go, and renting than what we are doing now.

AllieZ · 08/07/2012 20:06

No need to feel like a freak. I rent because I don't want the burdens that come with owning a house. If you own, all the trouble from roof to boiler to sewers are your problem. I prefer the landlord to worry about all that. There is also the question of moving. This way if we want we up and move anywhere from another county to another country or continent withing 2 months. I have seen people turn down lifetime opportunities because what will happen with the house, we will lose equity if we sell, etc. Life is too valuable to tie it to a house.

CowgirlintheSand · 08/07/2012 20:08

We rent and I don't feel like a freak. Maybe it depends where you live? We used to live in a pretty wealthy village where everyone owned their home except us. Now we live in the centre of a large town with a very transient population - so loads of people rent. Most of my friends own their own house but quite a lot don't (and aren't necessarily skint). I feel quite comfortable renting TBH, but may try to buy later if poss with parents' help.

valiumredhead · 08/07/2012 20:09

Most people we know rent in London, don't be so daft!

squeakytoy · 08/07/2012 20:10

YABU. If you want to buy, then stop renting somewhere that is very high rent, and get saving. Now is probably the best time to buy and wont get much better than this for a long while, so if you can afford it, do it.

KneesoftheBee · 08/07/2012 20:12

I think more people will rent in the future as it gives more flexibility when looking for work.

My mortgage won't be paid off until I am 65. So much for my original plan to retire early!!

MyDogShitsMoney · 08/07/2012 20:12

You're not a freak at all OP.

Yes renting sucks, (I have a thread going about just how badly it sucks right now!) but it is, sadly, very normal these days.

I have always rented and unless someone gives me a house I always will.

I hate it but not much to be gained from wasting my time whining on about something I can't change.

You're doing what you have to do for your family, don't ever judge yourself by a
other peoples appearances. You never know what their reality is.

PorkyandBess · 08/07/2012 20:13

I think it is becoming very hard for young people to own property, but I just can't see how owning is overrated.

I don't think it's freakish to rent, but I would far rather pay that money every month on a mortgage if I could. Plus, it's finite. Our mortgage will be paid off in 7 years.

Who wouldn't want to own their home and pass it on to their children? It's got to be preferable to renting.

Isn't property the best pension you can have?

AllieZ · 08/07/2012 20:14

It is only in the UK that owning your house is the "norm". Look at Germany or France, most people rent.

squeakytoy · 08/07/2012 20:16

I would much rather own than rent. In the long term, if you buy then your money is an investment.

AllieZ · 08/07/2012 20:17

Who wouldn't want to own their home and pass it on to their children?
It's got to be preferable to renting. Isn't property the best pension you
can have?
No, it isn't. I have an economist in the family, works for a huge international company, currently in Paris but has worked in London and Madrid, too. Could buy a house in any of these places with cash. Yet he rents and all his investments are in other things. He says property brings in 5%pa of its value at any time. There investments with much better return than that.

shipsahoy · 08/07/2012 20:19

I don't think it's that unusual to rent into your late 30s in London, many families we know here are renters. We are early 30s and are renting in London, but will be buying next year.

We aren't multi millionaires, but we're realistic about areas and aren't looking in SW London but more rough edgier areas. And we have saved for years by staying in shared rentals or poky ex-council flats. But that's our choice. Other families we know have accepted that the only way to get a nice house in a nice area immediately is to continue renting and don't want to put up with being in worse areas in the shorter term. We do intend to get our nice house in a nice area one day but it'll be a slow steady climb up the ladder, not something we can get overnight.

MikeLitoris · 08/07/2012 20:22

I kind of feel the same op.

Its really frustrating as we pay much more in rent than we would pay on a mortgage. (About 200 a month more).

Our problem is actually getting the mortgage in the first place.

My ex left me with stupid amounts of debt and it has taken me years to pay it all off. At times it left me short and i had various loans. Everything is paid off but my credit rating is shot to pieces.

We've decided to have a break from stressing and saving every penny and actually enjoying what we earn for once. Holidays, day trips with dc, me being able to work less hours etc.

It really isnt the most important thing to us atm. We are only early 30s so still have a few yrs left before we're too old!

NowThenWreck · 08/07/2012 20:25

France and Germany have much lower rents proportionate to income though. And more security for tenants.
I rent. I am a freak though.

DontmindifIdo · 08/07/2012 20:25

Perhaps you need to move away from SW London? It's frighteningly expensive round there! Move out, allowing for extra commuting costs, you still could get a lot more for your money and not have a particularly longer commute if you are on fast trains. If you keep renting a similar sized property but further out, you could bank the savings and start building a deposit, or at least stronger savings. The advantage of renting is that moving is a far easier process.

billsmill · 08/07/2012 20:28

I know how you feel. We're late 30's and renters, like you. Everyone assumes we bought this house in SE London. I never lie about it, but I just let people assume. We are unlikely to ever buy (at least not in the next ten years) and then we'll be late 40's and I don't know if banks give mortgages to late 40 somethings. I do think though that renting is more common than you think and we be more so in the future.

NowThenWreck · 08/07/2012 20:28

Mmm, yes, it is easier to move if you are renting-provided you have a spare grand to do it with.
Plus, no bank would give me a mortgage of over a hundred grand, even though that is the equivalent of what I pay in rent every month, and that is dead money; not going into any investment.

dontcallmehon · 08/07/2012 20:28

I own now and used to feel like this, but have discovered that the grass is not always greener. I worry about paying the mortgage and we are stuck on a high interest rate because we could only raise a 10% deposit. We don't live in a great area, although we get by and we have another 22 years left on the mortgage...