for feeling like a freak because we rent?

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Fell in love and got pregnant before finances were ever really discussed. Went from sling to well off, had some savings, but then recession hit and we're barely getting by. Have great kids, strong marriage, a bit of cc debt but not very much, same with savings. We live in SW London surrounded by property we could never afford. Paying crazy rent and feeling sad/like a freak that we still haven't bought anywhere and maybe never will. I know I'm not alone but I do feel we are unusual for not having bought yet (late 30s) and quite vulnerable as the economy is in deep shit. AIBU?

YANBU, but you are not a freak! We rent and don't plan to buy so we can stay flexible and not need to pay for childcare. If things get tight financially it's easier to downsize/move somewhere cheaper and not lose money in the process. I always know how much our monthly outgoings are, as any "surprises" come out of my, very lovely, landlord's pocket and not mine. I also think we would spend a lot of money on tweaking and decorating our home if we owned which you can't when you rent.

We could afford to buy somewhere I think but as another poster said, I know too many people who stay in jobs that make them miserable (or relationships) because of a mortgage. The author of "How to be free" makes several good arguments for why not to buy, including the fact that on a £200,000 property you may end up paying the bank an additional £220,000 interest.

I'd rather rent and invest my money in savings than take out a huge loan (mortgage), rent from the bank and hope that at some point we end up making money on the house.

NowThen - a grand is a lot less to find than the average estate agent and solicitor fees, throw in having to pay stamp duty (and very few mortgages will lend you this money so you have to have it), and it's a very expensive thing to move once you've bought. This is before you consider the faff in selling your home, the delays and the stress of having your place ready for viewings. It's a hell of a lot easier to give your 2 months notice and actually have a moving date that won't change at the last moment...

Honestly, if you are struggling, even if you moved to SE London you'd find your money goes a lot further. London is a great place to live if you have no children or lots of money, or bought your first property before the boom. For everyone else, it's a struggle and involves a lot of compromises...

Thanks - we're here for the time being for various reasons, planning to move locally shortly to pay less rent and hopefully get an agency not run by rude snobs . Just feel angry at the ridiculous rent people charge around here, even for shitty places with mouldy bathrooms. There should be rent control and more protection for renters, like in Germany. Surely it shouldn't be such a struggle to buy a small patch to build a life on? I know London is ridiculous and that moving out might be the answer. Just wouldn't know where-I like it here!

YANBU. we're near you, and we were renting. we finally bought - a flat. i honestly don't know how people afford the houses around here but all our playdates seem to be in mansions! we are happy living within our means, but sometimes i am a little . don't fancy having a massive mortgage though!

Be as as you want OP. Renting is shit.

The barriers to buying are just ridiculous and anyone who bought their first any more than 4 years ago has now idea how impossible it truly is.

" Have great kids, strong marriage, a bit of cc debt but not very much, same with savings. "
Probably not what you wanted to hear, but what you have is far more important than owning a house. I suspect there are property owners who would envy you.
It's probably not the best time to commit to mortgage debt in any case. The current recession will end as they always do, and interest rates will rise. The last time this happened many people were caught in the repayments trap.
Enjoy your happy family in your rented home.

We're in the same boat as well, also in SW London. We could buy something but it would be the same size as our current flat (3 bed) but in a worse area and we'd pay roughly the same in mortgage costs as we currently do in rent. We're paying quite affordable rent for our area and have a decent landlord. We've been here for just over 2 years and I think we'd be able to stay for the foreseeable future.

My job is not stable beyond 2014 and I think house prices are way over-valued and bound to fall at some point, so it suits us to continue renting for now.

But yes, I do feel like a freak at times when I'm surrounded my people who own - even though they often live in smaller flats than us and can't afford to upsize.

The thing with a mortgage is that one day it finishes. After that there is no payment to anyone. We use the money for cruises.

isn't it the best pension you can have?

no.

People think a property is an asset, when in reality it is a liability. It drains you and you don't see any real benefit from it. An asset generates income in excess of what it cost you to acquire it. A liability creates expense.

Buy a house and pay what in interest over the years? so for a house worth however much, you've actually paid what for it? Hardly coming out on top, is it

Then there's the maintenance of it. And insurance costs a bomb. But you'd better pray you never actually need to claim it, or it'll double! Plus inheritance tax when you die.

Your children may, I stress may have some benefit from it - If you don't need to sell it in order to fund your care of course. Something that is going to become far more likely as we see more and more cuts. But for the person who bought it, it's the most expensive thing they've ever done! It hasn't generated an income for them, hasn't increased their wealth, it's been nothing but a drain on resources. They buy something worth £250,000 and pay what for it? Not £250,000, that's for sure. ! You would pay several hundred a month in interest alone. Every month. for years and years and years. How is that in any way a good investment?

People have been conditioned to think that owning your own house is the be all and end all and it's not. It's really not.

The housing market in the UK is insane. DH and I bought in 1998 before things went completely stupid and because we lost my lovely MIL we now own our house outright.

With what we earn between us now, we would not be able to afford to buy where we are, and renting would be very difficult too. There are two large US air bases near where we live, and because the US government offers its people rent allowances, the local landlords know exactly what they can get away with charging - pricing locals out of the market completely.

I'm completely in favour of socialist things like rent control, everyone should have an affordable place to live in. YADNBU.

Here's an idea: All those who currently have a mortgage and think renting makes you oh so much more free; sell your house and rent instead.
Experience the freedom to pay hundreds of pounds a month to live in places that you have absolutely no control over, from whether you have carpets or not, to how whether or not the landlord can have you out at a months notice.

Thought not.

I wouldn't sell my house and rent instead now, because I want to keep the option to be able to do that in the future. Wherever we live, it will have to be paid for somehow. We may well sell up and rent when we and the dc are older though.

In many cases, what you pay on a mortgage is the same as what you would pay in rent, but when the boiler breaks down or a water pipe goes, a renter just has to make a couple of phonecalls, an owner has to find a lot more money that they don't neccesarily have.

Owners more than pay the price for the small amount of security that owning brings, but when people don't really own and just rent from the mortgage lender instead, they are still at risk of losing their home if redundancy strikes. Whether or not it's worth it is up to the individual.

Owning is definatly not worth it for people who are forced to sell their homes to pay for elderly care. They have nothing left to leave to their children, and get exactly the same care as the state pays for people who have nothing in the way of assets. Which is hugely unfair for people who have spent every spare penny on a mortgage and sacrificed luxuries like holidays and nice things.

I quite like renting. We get to live in an area of London that we could never afford to buy in, half a million of your English pounds for a two bed flat. Someone else deals with the blocked gutters and the damp. I Guess we will still be paying when we are old, but I don't think o am going to make old bones so " cake now" . Most people don't own their own homes anyway, the bank does.

I wonder what the stats are between paying rent/ mortgage - interest on a particular property over a period of time?

I think what us renters envy is the control.

When you own, it's yours. Just yours. To do with what you want. I've never painted a wall in my own home in my life. Never chosen a colour scheme, pondered over bathroom fittings or work tops, never put up a shelf or coat rack.

As long as you pay your mortgage every month it's your home for life.

I've paid rent for almost 10 years, never once been even a day late. I could be asked to leave tomorrow. Would anyone really choose to live like that?

I am 43 and still rent. Sometimes it really bugs me as I worry that we don't have roots but when disaster strikes, as it has done over the last few weeks (been flooded 3 times, new floor ripped out, garden dug up and new drainage system put in) I thank my lucky stars!. It helps that we have a brilliant landlord and when I see my parent's elderly neighbours having to take £100k below market value for their house for a quick sale in order to fund their care.

I have painted walls etc, and put up shelves. I have also dug gardens, and grown flowers. I have improved every house I have lived in, and got nothing from it.
It can be heartbreaking, because I want a home, and if you rent it can never really be your home.
And landlords dont always fix everything. My landlord "can't afford" to fix the rising damp in my house, resulting in mould growing on the walls.
We will have to move (when I can raise the money for the £800 deposit, £140 signing fee, £200 movers fee) as ds's asthma is triggered by the mould.

If I had to pay for a new boiler or a new roof etc, yes that would a large expense-but it would be adding to my long term investment. Whatever I spend on my rented house is literallymoney down the drain.

It really does depend on the landlord and that can be a lottery. I have rented all of my adult life and have been treated like shit by some of them. Luckily we are now in a place that we can really treat as our own and our landlord does appreciate the care that we take with his house. We were in a position to buy 10 years ago but my dh lost his job and we decided not to go through with the purchase. I do in my darker hours regret that decision but we are where we are and have to make the best of it. There are good and bad sides to both I think.

We've been feeling a bit like this-we got off the ladder a couple of years back and have been cringing a bit ever since thinking we might have messed up big time. But we're still in the try before you buy stage, I like to think.

Nail on the head again NowThen

if you rent, it can never really be your home

if you rent, it can never really be your home

Really?

We're going to have to agree to disagree on that one.

It certainly is my home, but it's owned by someone else.

That fact will never change.

And sorry, but I strongly disagree that any tenant has Security.
At any moment your LL could decided he wants you to leave.

Whatever your contract is, however much the law is on your side, it's a pretty miserable situation to be in and anyone who thinks it it couldn't happen to me is in denial.

Same with a mortgage though surely? You lose your job or become ill and can no longer pay and the bank takes it off you.

your not a freak, think i'll be renting all my life, cant see me ever having the money to mortgage so you aren't alone!

oh and good luck renting if you have ccjs against you , or ever being considered for a mortgage again.

We rent. We simply can't afford to buy. However, there's a reason that renting is not the norm here. There really is no such thing as long term renting in this country unless you're in council housing. We are struggling with debt because we keep getting the old 'month's notice to move out' bollocks. Happened to us most recently in November, right after DP got made redundant. moving costs amount to nearly £2000. So the only way to afford to move is to skip the payment of some bills. We'd only just dug ourselves out of the hole from the last time it happened when we got that bloody letter. It's a pain. So for that reason and ONLY that reason I wish we could afford to buy.