to want to rip his face off

[nickster1978]

OH goes back to work tomorrow after paternity leave. He has just rang work to check his hours for the week and been told he needs to work tonight. Now all he has done is promise me that he will give me lots of support after I had Lo as there were issues when I had our 20 month old. As 20 month old is not sleeping through yet I think that's its unreasonable for him to be working nights. He has probably worked a night shift 4 times in the last 4 years. He should have been working 7-4 tomorrow. I now feel upset as I will be up feeding a 4 week old who is keeping me up loads. And also a 20 month old along with meeting the needs of my other children. One of whom is ASD and another wets the bed. AIBU???

Just wanted to point it out as on these threads it so often seems that hardly any men are able to exercise their right to paternity leave, for one reason or another.

Paternity leave like maternity leave can start from a range of dates including when the baby is born surely?

Just seems so sad that so few men are able to spend the first two weeks with their children when they are wholly entitled to do so.

Another one here who thinks YABU and I know what it's like to have a DH who works nights shifts and children who don't sleep.

Although having said that if he's as hopeless as you say he is then you've been managing ok for 4 weeks on your own.

It's hard, but it will get easier - I do think it's time to sort out your relationship though and get him to take some responsibility.

OP is not lucky that her dp had 4 weeks off, if he doesn't help her or support her in that time He is lucky, he had a 4 week holiday....

OP, others probably cope better, if they know that when their partner is home, he will help....that reliable support can get you through a lot. IME continuously expecting and hoping for help, which never comes, is more exhausting than actually being alone....

What a horrible thread title. Really charming turn of phrase you have.

bejeezus she didn't say that in her opening post though did she, only deigned to mention it when the majority said she was being unreasonable.

He's got other kids with her, I very much doubt he treated it like a holiday.

So what if she didn't say it in her opening post, she's said it now

Imagine you were having the conversation face to face....if someone told you mid conversation that there husband doesn't help out with the kids/treated his PL like a holiday etc....you wouldn't disregard the information, and pull her up because she didn't tell you that at the start of the conversation? Or maybe you would?

And what do you very much doubt he treated it like a holiday? Because your OH wouldnt?

I swear some people just come on AIBU to exercise their bitch muscle

OP if you do have on going problems in your relationship, which you would like to work through; can I suggest you post in the Relationship section

Thanks for all your comments which really were all taken on board. I managed quite well the other night xx

if this was your first child i'd understand but surely you saw this coming he was eventually going to have to go back to work. what did you think would happen? did ye not discuss it?

but i sympathise as you are having a tough time of it at the moment.

bejeezus a lot of drip feeding goes on when an OP doesn't get the answer she was looking for. If it had been an issue then I think it would have been mentioned in the OP not further along.

He had four weeks off which is lucky, and you're not tellin me he didn't do ANYTHING for the kids in that time. So yeah, both lucky.