Not allowing people to smoke in my house

[Huffles]

I don't smoke and one of my house rules is you don't smoke in my house. A friend who I haven't seen in a good couple of months turned up on my door step a couple of weeks ago - puffing away on a cigarette. My 7 year old answered the door and said: 'Mum won't let you in while you have that.' (meaninig her cigarette. She responded by saying: 'Well, let's see what Mum says.' When I got to the door I politely explained that I didn't mind her smoking outside as long as she disposed properly of her cigarette but she was not to come in with it.

She got in a right huff and called me a snob and stormed off!

YANBU, my mum and brother smoke indoors and it gives me a bad chest just being in that house. Nb: I don't have respiratory problems and I have been known to have the occasional ciggy when pissed.

Plus it just makes everything stink.

What a cow, nobody is allowed to smoke in my house and I've never had any complaints, good riddance to your 'friend'!

Its your house. Most of my family smoke n they smoke in their own homes, cars n walking dwn the street but they hav never complained that they hav 2 go outside wen they are at my house. Its called respect. Id think twice b4 seeing that person again OP, unless they apologise.

Nobody smokes inside a house anymore, do they?

YANBU who smokes indoors these days?!

Ooh penis you read my mind!

The woman was stupidly rude, she did you a favour by leaving.

I'm a smoker that doesn't allow smoking in my house.

I am a smoker too and do not smoke in my own house nevermind anyone elses!! Nor would I ever expect to smoke in anyone's house or allow others to smoke in mine.

How rude was your friend!

Well done to your DD too.

Expecting to smoke in a nonsmokers house is rude and odd. She doesn't sound like much of a friend if she didn't realise you didn't smoke and was that rude at just being asked to extinguish her cigarette before entering your house.

Another smoker who thinks YANBU.

My BF doesnt smoke but when she has had a party she has said to me and other smokers that we can smoke in the house, but none of us do. Her and her DH dont smoke, and I wouldnt feel right smoking in anyones house, never mind a non smokers! I do wonder though if its to stop her smoking, because after a couple of Pinots she is outside bumming fags while her DH is inside, and she wouldnt do that if he was there :o

YANBU dp's friends all smoke and when we have them round for dinner they spend every 10 mins hopping outside for a fag, it must be so embarrassing having such a dependency on nicotine.

Iloveonionrings, it was my ds who told her she wouldn't be allowed in with it. I do have 2 DD as well, though :D

I should really rephrase the word 'friend.' She is someone I only see in fleeting every few months or so. She's not someone I'd conisider as a true friend.

yanbu - interesting too as this is only in the last 5 years that the way people feel about smoking indoors has changed so dramatically

Having said that.....I wonder if she was a bit put out at your DC telling her that she couldnt smoke.

An adult saying "Would you mind smoking outside please?" is fine, but a child saying "Mummy wont let you in if you are smoking" might seem a bit bossy and holier than thou. Still think YANBU but wondering if that might have contributed to it. Thinking along the lines of "Mummy says that Macdonalds is really nasty and will kill you", when actually Mummy was joking when she said that, but it would piss off the playdate mummy who suggested it as a treat.

it must be so embarrassing having such a dependency on nicotine.

Did you mean that to sound so patronising?!

I used to smoke and even when the non smoking hosts said it was fine to smoke in the house - and begged me even I never ever smoked in a non smokers house!

YANBU HOWEVER - if you have one of those tacky horrid - NO SMOKING signs up somewhere - yabu!!!

My Mum smokes and my DP's mother smokes and they both go outside. Both of us have explicitly stated this and my Mum doesn't mind and as far as I'm aware neither does his Mum who cares if she doesn't like it anyway, it's my bloody place. It's your right as the homeowner to choose whether you allow that kind of thing or not.

YANBU I think it's a disgusting habit. It spells, it makes you ill, it's irritating to your eyes and skin and it's just vile, end of story.

Just let her get on with it.

bogeyface, I didn't think of her maybe being put out because ds had told her first. I think the only reason he pointed it out is because I've never allowed smoking in the house - so kind of give her a heads up because he knew I'd ask her not to come in with it.

I am a smoker but never smoke indoors. It's foul.

YANBU.

We don't let people smoke in our garden either.

I'm not sure that does sound patronising to be honest?

I'm an ex smoker. I smoked for over 20 years.

When I first started, smoking was totally acceptable everywhere. There were ads on TV, everyone who smoked did so indoors, in restaurants, on buses and trains, in council buildings...even in shops.

One of my earliest memories of Infant and Junior school was taking messages to the staff room for the teacher, and the wall of smoke that hit me as the staff room door opened. You always knew when the Head Master had been in the coridoor before you because of the smell of his pipe smoke.

But towards the end of my smoking years, I actually did feel embarrassed at times...standing outside a pub, restaurant, someone's house, hospital, wherever really...puffing in all weathers.

It really actually made me feel as though I was a 'proper' addict for the first time ever.

And yes, I personally found that embarrassing at times.

YANBU

I have the occasional cigarette these days but would never smoke in anyone's house.

It's so gross, gets into all the curtains and cushions and clothes and makes everything stink to high heaven.

No way. Me and dp used to smoke and I'm not sniffy about it but I would never ever expect to smoke in someone's house.

Yanbu. I hate it and make people stand on the porch. Smoke seeps in through the letterbox and the house stinks for days!