to find it demeaning to be made to use a wheelchair?

[RevoltingPeasant]

This happened a few months ago, but it is one of those stupid things that just niggles at you. I found myself thinking about it today and thought I'd ask AIBU.

I had to have an operation recently which involved me staying in hospital for one day for monitoring, sleeping there overnight, getting up early in the morning for a scan/ test to check all was okay, and then having the op (bit involved, sorry!).

When I got up for the early morning scan, which was in a different part of the hospital building, the nurse on duty told me I had to be wheeled down to the room in a chair by a HCA. This was their policy about patient transport, and she would not budge on it.

Now, I am 32 and perfectly healthy except for this one problem. I do not think it is a brilliant use of resources to ask an HCA to wheel an able-bodied 32yo around a hospital myself! But more than that, I found it quite disempowering to be made to sit there passively and get wheeled around.

Let me be clear: I don't think wheelchair users are demeaned/ disempowered. If someone has mobility issues and a chair is their way of moving themselves around, fine, and if I had mobility issues I don't think I'd find using a WC a problem. It's the being wheeled by someone else when I don't have mobility issues that I found frankly demeaning.

AIBU?

per se

I know what you mean, Revolting. I wouldn't say I felt 'demeaned' - I just felt like a fraud, hence uncomfortable. There may be good reasons for it, but it feels infantilizing to be pushed when you're perfectly able to walk.

OTOH after having DD - legs a bit jellified - I was bloody glad of the chair to take me the few yards to the ward!

carly and others who have made the same point - yes, you are right. 'Demeaning' isn't great. Actually I erased it at first and wrote 'uncomfortable' instead. But then I thought - 'demeaned' is how I felt.

That might be wrong of me, in which case I'd be interested to hear why - really - that's why I posted.

I am really surprised at that Blackout, as my DS was also admitted at a few weeks old, and noone would have dreamt of offering me a wheelchair!

OP - I think you are overreacting, as the wheelchair journey was brief and for a specific purpose.

"I found it quite disempowering to be made to sit there passively and get wheeled around."

"But I felt like a toddler in a pushchair."

This is exactly what it feels like for a wheelchair user if like me you are not strong enough to self-propel any distance.

It's one of the things you have to swallow, because everything else is worse.

I've had people rock the wheelchair back and forward, as though I were a baby needing soothing. I've had people try to lift and hump it sideways, as though I were luggage. I've had people steer half off pavements and be surprised when it almost overturns, and complain "You're really heavy." No I'm not fucking heavy - I just weigh what an adult weighs not a 3 yr old (60kg as it happens).

And for all this, I must be grateful. Because it's so nice and generous of them to push in the first place.

And breathe.

(Note: I genuinely am grateful. And have a big smile and cheery thanks ready for the many, many people who each give a tiny bit of help and make it possible for me function outside the house at all. But sometimes the energy needed to "manage" people is more than I have, so it would be absolutely SOOPAH, DAHLINGS if you'd engage brain just a teeny tiny bit. Thanks so much, very much appresh. Truly.)

LRD I get what you are saying but the HCA in question was leaving behind a ward full of people, some of whom had just had serious ops, to wheel someone who knew where she was going and who had two healthy legs. Honestly, I think common sense might be used in that case.

featherbag not being narky, but I'd honestly like to know how you would have prevented me walking myself to the scan? Would you have rung ahead to the x-ray dept out of spite and cancelled my scan, against the consultant's instructions? Or had me restrained?

Why wouldn't it be demeaning to lose your autonomy? It's natural, surely? That's why people keep trying to preserve as much autonomy for people with mobility difficulties, isn't it?

I am probably being wayyy too simple here. I just think that it's quite understandable it would be demeaning, and saying so doesn't demean people who use wheelchairs. What'd be demeaning to them would be implying that it's ok for them but not for you, or implying they shouldn't mind being in wheelchairs (neither of which you did). Of course someone in a wheelchair is going to mind.

Serial thank you so much for posting that. I am rather afraid of offending real WC users and it is really intersting to have that perspective. Yes, I think you are right, it's about losing control and feeling like luggage. Can you not use a motorised chair that allows you to propel yourself - if you don't mind my asking?

Cross-posted ... I do see what you're saying about the practicalities.

Thank you LRD you are much more articulate and probably less hamfisted than I am!!!!

The reasoning for it at my hospital is that we have had more than one person faint upon seeing the anesthetic room! Two healthy legs can quickly turn to jelly with the thought of an imminent operation.

I hacked off because you said "demeaning" and I am not even in a wheelchair.

Regardless, its still hospital policy.

They insisted my nearly 3 yr old had to go down for his brain op in a cot thing on wheels..... I wished them luck with that......

After climbing out 6 times, and him getting more and more upset (it was miles away from the ward) - the Dr. suguested we just let him run... he ran/skipped/jumped/pressed all buttons on the lifts he found and genrally had a blast and was knackard and very chilled out by the time we actually made it to theatre ;)

You can always so no - I did - I walked to the theatre for my planned c-section despite them insisting i have a chair

It's general policy.

I just generally have a nice chat with the HCA/have a snooze.

Nothing to feel 'demeaned' about - that's somewhat strong. But I suppose I have to do it a lot so don't really think about it even if I feel perfectly able to walk. It's a suck it up thing I think.

Good post Serial

lunar but I was going for a scan, not an operation. An xray. I had already had others during that stay.

newpassion fair enough. I did say I realise it is problematic way to feel, just working out how/ why. And like I said, yes, I knew it was policy so I complied without a fuss. I didn't do some kind of prima donna thing.

Nah, OP. I've been in hospital a lot, and I just enjoy the ride and chat to the porter. Their policy, my luck to get 'driven'.

I sometimes do use a powerchair or scooter but have to hire one when I get into town. I only need a chair for outdoor distances and my house-access isn't step-free, so have nowhere to park a powerchair (diff between powerchair and manual is like diff between motorbike and fold-up bicycle).

And it's too far for me to roll into town, and a heavy powerchair would restrict the types of transport I could use - currently any old saloon taxi will do with my little manual folded in the boot.

So the right solution for me at the moment seems to be my manual - but some days I do get tempted by the gorgeous weather and instead of taking taxi to door, doing business and taxi-ing straight back, I foolishly potter alone down the high street...

Talking of which, thanks hugely to the woman who interrupted her phone call to give me a shove up the humpback bridge the other day. I was really struggling and appreciated your help immensely. My own stupid fault - had gone out without charging phone and got stranded in the street unable to call a cab.

I didn't feel demeaned, because I wasn't being. It was just unnecessary.

I was more annoyed about being packed off in a wheelchair with a "packed lunch" while I was wheeled around to various tests - the packed lunch consisted of a box with an uncut brown roll wrapped up in cling film and a dairylea cheese triangle. No knife or anything, let alone anything actually nutritious. The carelessness in that I did find insulting - "what crap can we give these people to eat? Ah, that'll do".

yabu, but you know that now

I'm only posting because I was thinking about when I had to go into hospital after giving birth to DD.
I had to walk out of the ward in order to go home, carrying my baby.
I wanted a chair because I didn't feel capable of walking, but I couldn't ask for one because they would probably have refused my discharge (I had to persuade them that I was perfectly well and healthy to go home otherwise i would have died on their stupid no iron food ), but when they saw me carrying DD, they said I had to put her in one of the wheely cribs. I had no problem with this, until I said we were taking her home and then it was suddenly okay.
I had thought they meant she had to be in a wheely crib until she left the hospital, but they only meant that she had to be in one if I was carrying her around the ward for fun.

Oh sorry OP, need to read properly in future! No idea why then.

I can see a good reason for this policy.

It is quicker and safer to escort all patients around, because they don't want people getting lost, or fainting where their are not medical needs are not known.

Some people will need the wheelchair. The porter or nurse therefore needs to keep it with them on the journey there and back.

If you have to move 2 people plus a wheelchair around a busy hospital, it is easier if one of them is in the wheelchair, especially if the one pushing it is used to wheelchairs and knows where they are going.

Serial - I am temporarily in a wheelchair. It is a real eye opener. I agree that I too feel like a 'toddler' etc. Today I have been out in my chair. On the whole people have been very kind (stepping aside, holding open doors) etc and on occasion incredibly rude (yes you, extremely ample woman in restaurant who refused to move her chair closer to the table so I could pass, and you scowling young woman who had to wait 2 seconds while my friend pushed me round a corner).
I do feel helpless and vulnerable in my chair, mine is not one I can self propel so although my friends would never do it, if they walked off and left me I would be absolutely stranded, literally unable to go anywhere.

Not sure I have a point but I do understand the feeling of disempowerment. OP I think as others have said it is probably a health and safety reason, having said that when I requested a wheelchair for dh to take dd and I to the car 48 hours after my c-section as it was a very long walk from the ward to the car park I was scathingly told by a nurse that if I couldn't walk that far I shouldn't be going home (despite the fact they had told me to leave!!)

Interesting post, as im a nurse and often do this for patients.

I'd say YANBU to feel demeaned, you are feeling it, not us. There is a loss of control and a certain vulnerability that comes with being admitted to hospital. Good nurses will try their utmost to counter this.

However, it's slightly U to say its categorically unnecessary to do so. I can put forward a few reasons why it is necessary:

-The hospital has a responsibility for your health and safety while you are an inpatient. Policies protect staff and the trust from litigation, and patients from injury.

-Falls prevention is very hot at the moment.

-Your notes need to be transported with you and patients are not allowed to handle their own notes so a staff member, be it a nurse or porter needed to accompany you.

-Otherwise healthy patients can and do go downhill very rapidly. In fact it's interesting timing, just this morning I was about to take a patient down the corridor, young man. He was fine, we were going to walk together, he looked fine, obs were normal, felt fine, laughed when I suggested a wheelchair, had been fine his whole stay. As he stood up and walked across the bay, he suddenly came across grey, clammy and faint. I (pregnant) had to leap across to him, grab a chair and ease him back to bed. Imagine if that'd happened in the corridor?

Regardless, thank you for sharing your feelings about this, I will certainly take it into consideration next time I'm in that situation.

Ps, I'm a very bad patient and refused a wheelchair immediately after giving birth :)

BatCave - thanks, interesting post! Actually they were not taking my notes with me.

I find it very interesting that patients cannot handle their own notes! Wow - why is that? I have notes about me left in a tray thingy at the end of the bed and I regularly leaf through them.

Why can't patients see stuff that is written about them?