To ask for cooking help? I am a shit cook.

[Hullygully]

As a result of the No Sugar thread, I have realised that I can't cook. Not one bit. No siree.

I need help.

These are the rules:

1. No cheese of any kind.
2. No meat
3. Not more than two pots for any one dish
4. Mustn't take hours
5. No cheese.

Thank you please help me.

aw hope hath finds her way here

One of my friends mums makes jam and sends it to me. In my cupboard I currently have apricot, gooseberry and blackberry. [lucky]

I also have chilli jam someone elses mum sent. Would never be able to make it myself though.

Like someone else said upthread, think of something you love eating, in a restaurant or at a friend's house, google the recipe and just go for. I've done this with my dds.

I also make encourage them to cook something several times so they really get the hang of it before moving on to something else.

I'm now reeping the rewards as dds are very capable and actually like to cook in the evenings. So Hully get our dc cooking this summer hols so you don't have to!

I make jam, it snice. But we are now drowning in raspberry jam. Quite literally.

And LaQ nice to see you in your new robes m'aaaaaam

I like cooking too, but there is nowt more tedious than posting recipes on the internet, so I'm not going to be sharing any secrets today. Although I could tell you how to make jam if you like

My parents have greengage trees and they produce a glut of fruit about the end of July. I spend about 3 weeks making kilos and kilos of jam. I give most away but still have three 2litre kilner jars of the stuff in the cupboard - and it's almost jam o'clock again. Quick start eating jam!

After being inspired at the end of last week I'm on a new project:

Pick a cookbook, and starting at the beginning cook every recipe in it, one day at a time. This requires meal planning and shopping with a list, which are more alien skills to me than the actual cooking part, but we're eating things I would never cook otherwise (last night's was delicious: a dish with roast potatoes, sausages, tomatoes and herbs).

Can't help with the choice of book I'm afraid, DH gets upset if dinner doesn't contain meat, but if you have books just pick one of them. You are allowed to "cheat" and skip a recipe if (for example) it has cheese as a basic ingredient, but the spirit is to try to cook all of the recipes.

When I particularly like something, I note it down on the page, so I can find it again easily, as well as any changes I would make if cooking again.

MrsHoarder How bloody organised of you. I want to be that organised so that I make notes about changes I have made.

I never remember how long I have cooked cakes for etc, and I recently made the most fabulous banana loaf with coconut and white chocolate chips, and can I find the recipe? Can I hell as like.

Hully....

Am I mistaken, or you weren't REALLY looking for help with your cooking.....

I am very much in the same place as your good self and LaQ... but wouldn't even think of asking for help for it, I'm very happy NOT to cook thank you very much!

that dind't make much sense did it... soz

No meat, no cheese, no sugar, and NO CHEESE?

YABU

Inspired by you mrshoarder I closed my eyes and picked a book off the shelf.

Then I put back the biography of Beau Brummel and pulled out Canteen Cuisine by Michael Pierre White with help from Michael Caine .

The first recipe was veloute of celery. I need to buy some normal cookery books.

What actually is a veloute?

Hully, its very easy.

1- go to ASDA
2- collect trolley
3- go to veggie section of freezer aisle
4- chuck in every linda macartney or equivalent ready meal that has no cheese in
5- go home, fill freezer

At dinner time, remove chosen meal, ding it, serve

et voila.

Ooops, fogot to put in 'pay'...please do.

It appears to be some kind of thing involving a lot of cream exit

Happily no cheese, meat and only 10 mins cooking time so I may have found the OP's signature dish for her.

But shouldn't it go on something. Can a veloute exist on its own?

I haven't got a recipe Hully but with regards to your comment about chucking spices at stuff but it still not tasting of anything:
You need to cook spices not just sprinkle on top of whatever you're making. Do you like Indian food? Nearly all the recipes do exactly the same thing:
Fry onions in oil till brown
Add tomatoes
Add spices ( eg cumin coriander turmeric chilli powder garam masala)
Cook for a while until you get thick paste
Add any veg or lentils
Add water
Cook until done

I remember someone on masterchef failing to cook the spices

Oyeah!
Gotta go now, all this talk about food makes me hungry

I clearly said it was a veloute of celery exit. Do I have to explain everything?