to let this mum sweat ?

[Partypooper2000]

Mum at school with DD in same class as my DD. Notorious for never replying to party invites, having to be chased, never knows what she is doing on the day 'Can I let you know later' etc etc.

Just handed out invites for her DD's party 6 weeks in advance, so 'she can be organised'.

The bloody cheek of some people. Makes my blood boil.

AIBU to let her bloody sweat and not respond

YABU - if you do that you will be as bad as she is.........and of course you will never ever be able to moan about not responding again :)

It's no effort to just say yes or no - she may be a disorganised person who just never gets round to anything!

If she a bit lax in her life/plans/paperwork maybe she does need 6 weeks to get herself organised.

Tempting! But I would be tempted to reply ASAP, personally handing the reply direct to her saying "thanks for the invite, so and so would love to attend. I just wanted to get this back to you to assist with your planning....some people are so rude and don't bother! Can you imagine" and laugh it off.

Hopefully she feel inwardly shamed!

YABU, she is obviously not organised and realises this and is trying to be organised. SIBU for not responding to invites, but in all fairness you don't know what she has going on in her life and your DD's party is probably very low on her list of 'things to do'.

I prefer to have party invitations well in advance as it is rare, if handed an invitation on the Monday for a party on the following Sat/Sun, I can allow DD to go.

Cut her some slack, respond to the invite as you normally would.

yes I am also very unorganised

Oh God, I am that mother, I know I am. I never look in the school bag for information and never find out about something until the very last minute. Suprisingly I am relatively organised in other areas of my diary but I need some slack as I am working at a pressured job whilst racing around trying to fit it inbetween school run and nursery pick up!

Yes it may be bad manners but I do often need to be reminded by other mothers, funnily enough the ones that go to the gym and SAH (IN MY SPECIFIC CASE NOT EVERYONE'S ), I am afraid some of us are just like that however much we don't want to be! We do want to come, we do want to be involved but generally it slips to the back of our minds because something more urgent gets pushed to the front, usually something work related which for me is essential to get done

Don't get me wrong, I would love to be more organised but that involves relying on other people who aren't always the best at helping me out. I struggle daily with never feeling like I have completed anything and rushing everywhere so forgive me if this happens to me again any time soon.

Just to clarify, I am definitely not the mother of this child, just one similar and I so wish I wasn't for her sake

Prefer SleepyFergus response! It's not just my DD it's everyone that I know - she never replies.

I don't think she is disorganised as such - manages to organise every other part of her life just fine (have known her a few years). She just doesn't think anyone is as important as what she has going on, if you get what I mean. Always talking about herself, what she is doing blah blah

I wouldn't not reply, but I am going to leave it a few days. That goes against my grain as I always reply straight away. ALWAYS.

^^ what PBH said.

And just to clarify, I don't even have the guts to look inwardly shamed, I am mortified generally

Yabu, if party is in 6 weeks her dc must have a birthday in the long holidays. My dniece has a summer birthday and organising parties is a right kerfuffle, she stresses about none of her friends being able to come etc. please don't do that to this woman's dc, it's not the child's fault.

manages to organise every other part of her life just fine

Because of this, she obviously doesn't have time to think about what she perceives as 'the small stuff'.

Ultimately, it's a child's party. Inconvenient to not get a response and have to chase her, but ultimately not the worst thing in the world.

I still say, cut her some slack and talk over her when she starts going on and on about herself

YABU , I couldn't be so petty

I feel for you all

Honestly, an invite passed to you in your hand and you have been asked 3 times, and you still wouldn't reply - then just show up? This is rude and she has done this on my occasions.

I will let her know as I am a nice person.

For the record I have 3 DC's all in primary and 1 in secondary and I work full time. DH works over 70 hours a week incl most weekends, but I always aim to reply to people as it is good manners.

On the few occasions I haven't I would break my neck to apologise.

This one, just breezes in like she owns the place without so much as a word of apology or thanks.

I'm with you, YANBU and I love SleepyFergus's response

Good for you being so organised with all you have to cope with. I know I couldn't be but then I certainly wouldn't not reply to invites and just turn up

Is this the first time she has thrown a birthday party herself?

If so, then she may have never realised before how inconvenient it is not to know who is coming. Now she has had a taste of it herself she might be more considerate in future

yeah, do it. It will obviously make you feel good so why not. Ring all your friends and tell them to do the same

YABU. Model good behaviour and she might learn some manners by osmosis or something.

Well you could reply that you can't possibly let her know until the day before because you might have Other Things happening that aren't planned yet.

But that would be rude.

I like SleepyFergus's suggestion. :)

THis must be a new thing, I too can't remember ever having invitations so far in advance, and certainly wouldn't have committed to it.

To be honest I can't remember sending RSVPs, or ever receiving them for dd's parties (mobiles less prevalent back then). People just turned up.

I read of things like birthday parties in the morning, class reps and class contact lists in amazement really.

I can't imagine the mother is a slack alice on purpose, just that it probably doesn't occur to her that there is an RSVP etiquette for children's parties.

Dueling I think they will all take it upon themselves (so was the level of hysteria at her handing out her invites) without my intervention.

Nope, not first party, same happened last year.

You know what, it will make me feel good [nasty person emoticon]

Only for a few days, then as you say, it's not the childs fault so I will respond.

CuriosMama - not that organised - you should see the state of my shithole house

YANBU. Of course, it is petty but I don't think I could resist!

We never had all this fuss over RSVPs to childrens parties back in the day.

They are kids parties fgs , not formal occasions