to let this mum sweat ?

[Partypooper2000]

Mum at school with DD in same class as my DD. Notorious for never replying to party invites, having to be chased, never knows what she is doing on the day 'Can I let you know later' etc etc.

Just handed out invites for her DD's party 6 weeks in advance, so 'she can be organised'.

The bloody cheek of some people. Makes my blood boil.

AIBU to let her bloody sweat and not respond

I think if you have committed to do something then you carry on with those plans.

I have a life outside my kids, so if I can't be sure they can do something I decline the invitation. I work one weekend in 3 so there are a lot of things they can't always do.
I'd be very offended if someone had said they were coming to anything I'd organised and spent money on (however little) then sacked it because it was a nice day and they fancied doing something else. Not just a kids party, anything really.
You are letting people down.

If you want to be free and easy then fine, just say you can't come.

But it's just rude! Rude to accept an invitation then just not turn up. If you had a party for one of your kids, and everyone decided not to turn up because something better came along, I doubt you'd be impressed!

I love you sleepyfergus. You are henceforth invited to everything I do in my whole life.

Sleepy Fergus has the right response. I love a bit of passive aggressive response me.

And TheSecondComing, I do see where you are coming from, one or two kids missing is no big deal in the younger years, but once you reach about 8YO a child guest deciding to do something else at the last minute can be really gutting for the birthday girl/boy.

I know, I was that child.

SecondComing, your life sounds no more busy than anyone elses, TBH. Sometimes it does feel like life is tumbling down on you.
Really sorry about your MIL. That must be hard for your DH.
I do totally understand about needing time at the weekend. But I'd still always go or at least warn in advance if there is doubt we might make it to a kids party, because, all joking aside, it's just rude otherwise. It may only be a kids party, but it's still important to them.

Toutou states it really well. I love you as well. You can be invited to my life as well as sleepyfergus. Much wine has been taken, can you tell? I start a whole week on call for work tomorrow so have to overcompensate tonight.

Partypooper, I know someone a bit like that. She's always 'busier' than everyone else, always frazzled, always got so much on, and basically thinks the world revolves around her. The rest of us juggle work, kids, running a house etc but for her it's a massive deal. She too will never commit to things,and also often double books herself. We used to be close but I had to let the friendship drift as she did my head in.

I would reply to the invite asap, but more for your DD's sake than this woman's sake!

Thesecondcoming, I think it's really rude to say 'we'll try' to someone about a party invite. If you're unsure if your DC can attend, then surely it would be more polite to decline, rather than assume the party host will be so desperate for your child's company they will keep the place open and not fill it with another child, only for you to not turn up on the day.

I would be most annoyed if someone said to me 'we'll try' and then didn't turn up and I had to pay for a soft play party place or something. Actually in 14 years no parent has ever said 'we'll try' in response to an invite, it's really quite an odd thing to say. It's saying your time is more important than theirs.

It may not be important to you but it is important to the host child and their parents!

I'm surprised your children get any party invites with that kind of attitude. If I got that kind of reply and arrogance from a parent of a child my child had invited, that would be the last invite their child got from us!

I didn't say it made you a bad person, but I do think it's a rude, bad mannered thing to do.

Your post about going to the beach etc is quite arrogant, and where you said that a 4 year old not attending wouldn't feck up the party bag system. If the party is at a play centre, or a sports centre or restaurant, then chances are, if a child doesn't turn up on the day of the party, the hosting parents will have to pay for that child's place. I notice too that other posters also think the behaviour you are describing is very rude.

As I said, I would decline an invite if I was unsure if my child could go. I certainly wouldn't expect the hosting family to accommodate my whims.

You aren't taking any notice of what I'm saying are you?

Families might be out of pocket because you cannot be bothered to send your child to their party and just decide not to send your child on the day of the party itself. Do you not think it's unfair if they have to pay £10 or more for a place your child isn't using because you decided to go to the beach? It has nothing to do with people setting their store on 'stuff'!

I doubt many parents would be overjoyed at a parent like yourself giving them a breezy 'we'll try'. In actual fact they probably are seething but have more manners than you so pretend they don't mind.

And as others have said, you are no busier than anyone else. People that always claim to be 'busy' when they just have a normal life are normally disorganised and poor time managers, which from the description you've given of your house it sounds as though you are.

Good for you :)

What the hell are menkles

Freelancescientist. Do you want to come to my Madonna/Cyndi Lauper themed party? I promise we can play Twister and wear fluorescent socks. (Odd colours, of course)

you may be the only other guest there.

I have three busy children (and I don't work so no excuse there). We get several party invitations a week. I always check backpacks, agendas and what-have-you but occasionally they get missed. I know I haven't forgotten to reply and then turned up, but last week I forgot to RSVP that we weren't coming to a party (we were not actually busy that night but DD handed me the invitation the night before (while I was frazzled doing 10 things at once) and I didn't feel it would be considerate to reply in the affirmative at the last minute and then I forgot to let the hosts know we wouldn't be coming....Fast forward a few days when I picked up DD from a sleepover at another friend's house where I was (with a grin) handed a party bag from the missed party . I was mortified and so ashamed. Am fretting over whether I should phone the other Mom to apologize/say Thanks ( I have never met her or her child).

Am I EPIC-FAIL MOTHER??? .