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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just ignore ignore ignore?

73 replies

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 16:49

Ok a year ago I met another mum in school with a child with the same an as mine. She seemed nice and we got on really well, the only thing was she did a lot of... Bitching... But the boys were good friends so I just ignored and avoided any conversations about others. As I have school holidays off I did a lot of baby sitting for her lad with SN, not easy with 2 of them but I was happy to do it to save her money as we were friends.

In the past couple of months I noticed she only ever called me when the holidays were coming up to ask me to have her son or when we were taking both the boys to a lesson as I was the driver.

Anyway she stopped coming to said lesson for a month now. Different excuses each week and I wasn't really bothered as it was easier with one. Then I found out she was going on a different day with someone else.

So I thought about it and decided she didn't want to be friends and that was ok, friendships run their course and the kids are now in different schools (my son in special) so I just stopped texting her and ringing her. There was no contact for a bit.

She then rang yesterday to ask if I'd have her son for a few weeks in the holidays, I said I an sorry but I have other plans this year. She then hung up and text a few minutes later going mad at me for saying no and saying it was all about the horse riding.

I told her that I was annoyed she hadn't told me but she never really spoke to me anymore so I have made other plans with other mums.

She then went on to a group we are on on fb (one i run in rl too support for the SN our sons have) and started posting very personal things about me that I had told her in confidence, the posts were immediately deleted and she was banned and I immediately blocked her. Then she started texting me saying she was coming round to hit me and calling my son a lot of not very nice names. I text her back saying if she came to my home I would call the police and to calm down. Then didn't reply to the massive amounts of texts I got.

This was all last night.

This morning a mum from school came up to me and told me she has been spreading a load of lies about me on fb.new rant every 10 minutes. I laughed and said to ignore it, it's just childish and I wouldn't reply, the other mum said I should stick up for myself more.

My argument is; she's lost free childcare, she's shown herself up in front of everyone in the only support group around here, she's continuing to show herself up on fb.

I don't feel like stooping to her level and putting things on Facebook...I'm 24 not 15. (she is 32 by the way also not 15)

But the other mum seemed to think I was being a bit of a push over letting her say what she likes.

Don't get me wrong I am very upset by this but I figure anyone who believes a grown woman ranting on Facebook isn't really worth the hassle anyway? AIBU to just ignore or should I do something ?

OP posts:
verytellytubby · 03/07/2012 16:51

She sounds vile. Just ignore. What a nutjob.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/07/2012 16:51

ignore and then ignore some more!

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 16:52

Thanks I thought I should. I was having a wobble because I am known for being a doormat...

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 16:53

So many typos by the way I'm entertaining my child at the same time. The same SN not the same an

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 03/07/2012 16:54

Ignore. How awful. You have handled things admirably OP, well done.

GoEasyPudding · 03/07/2012 16:54

You are so so right! She is totally showing herself up on FB. Everyone will be reading this nonsense and making a mental note never to have anything more to do with her. Staying cool is your best form of defense here.

YouOldSlag · 03/07/2012 16:55

If I were I'd deal with this properly. Report it to the police as harassment and tell her you have done so.

If you don't, someone else in the future will be her next victim. It's not acceptable so don't accept it.

mintsauceandgravy · 03/07/2012 16:56

This woman sounds vile. U should def ignore.

sugarice · 03/07/2012 16:56

Ignore her completely but keep a record of her abusive texts and fb threats for future reference just in case, she sounds loopy to be honest.

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 16:56

You think police? I didn't think it was that serious I don't want to waste their time...

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 16:56

Definitely keeping a record just in case she turns up!

OP posts:
DublinMammy · 03/07/2012 16:58

I'd imagine the police would take a pretty dim view of someone sending threatening texts..... Ignore for now and escalate if you need to. Crazy lady (not you, her!)

Suzietastic · 03/07/2012 16:58

She has threatened to hit you so I would report her.

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 17:00

I'd feel bad for her little boy going to the police though. He's has a lot going on at the moment...different 'dads', family rows... I don't want to upset him

OP posts:
brightermornings · 03/07/2012 17:02

I too would ignore she's got a bloody cheek.

FioFio · 03/07/2012 17:02

you are not being unreasonable at all, she sounds awful :(

Lottapianos · 03/07/2012 17:02

I'm actually changing my mind on this and thinking that you should not be expected to just put up with vile things being said about you on the internet. I think you should go to the police and tell her that you are doing so.

'I'd feel bad for her little boy going to the police though'

Very nice of you but not your responsibility. You wouldn't be the cause of any upset he feels - his mother would be to blame! Put yourself and your own reputation and your own safety first here OP

VolAuVent · 03/07/2012 17:05
  1. Ignore
  2. Keep records of information
  3. Police
DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 17:05

It does annoy me that things are being said online. She's mainly lying about why we have fallen out. Apparently I said she was discriminating against my child by not coming to said lesson with him. I really don't understand where she got that idea from as it's not true at all... I am a bit worried about people thinking that I am the type of person who says these things but also I don't want to make a show of myself like she is doing. I honestly thought I'd ended this type of argument when I left high school...

OP posts:
maxybrown · 03/07/2012 17:06

ShockShock nutcase, def ignore - she's the equivelant of a troll isn't she? Don't feed her Smile

Lottapianos · 03/07/2012 17:07

She sounds barking mad - remember that she is airing her mad views on Facebook and that virtually everyone who reads her ramblings will be Hmm about it and will think that she is totally unhinged. She's letting herself down very badly here - it all sounds pathetic and a bit sad.

Keep all your evidence OP

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 17:09

Yeah, I should have seen it coming really. She's been so bitchy about other people I don't know why I didn't think it would be aimed at me one day. Oh well we live and learn.

OP posts:
RubyFakeNails · 03/07/2012 17:11

Just ignore her she seems completely unhinged.

If people ask you about it just explain, but I would tell them that she has threatened you and so you don't want to get involved. People who pay her attention should hear what she's like.

It is good to keep a record but I would just completely cut all other traces of her from my life.

Lottapianos · 03/07/2012 17:11

None of this is your fault OP. It sounds like you have been entirely calm and reasonable about the whole thing. You're right though - we all do live and learn and some lessons are not as much fun as others! Smile

Hope she leaves you alone soon

Noqontrol · 03/07/2012 17:12

I think you've done really well. But putting myself in your situation I wouldn't let another mum from the school get away with this type of behaviour. I'd call the police and tell them to go and have a word with her. Then I'd warn the school that there is friction between your families, and ask then to step in if problems arise at the school.

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