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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just ignore ignore ignore?

73 replies

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 16:49

Ok a year ago I met another mum in school with a child with the same an as mine. She seemed nice and we got on really well, the only thing was she did a lot of... Bitching... But the boys were good friends so I just ignored and avoided any conversations about others. As I have school holidays off I did a lot of baby sitting for her lad with SN, not easy with 2 of them but I was happy to do it to save her money as we were friends.

In the past couple of months I noticed she only ever called me when the holidays were coming up to ask me to have her son or when we were taking both the boys to a lesson as I was the driver.

Anyway she stopped coming to said lesson for a month now. Different excuses each week and I wasn't really bothered as it was easier with one. Then I found out she was going on a different day with someone else.

So I thought about it and decided she didn't want to be friends and that was ok, friendships run their course and the kids are now in different schools (my son in special) so I just stopped texting her and ringing her. There was no contact for a bit.

She then rang yesterday to ask if I'd have her son for a few weeks in the holidays, I said I an sorry but I have other plans this year. She then hung up and text a few minutes later going mad at me for saying no and saying it was all about the horse riding.

I told her that I was annoyed she hadn't told me but she never really spoke to me anymore so I have made other plans with other mums.

She then went on to a group we are on on fb (one i run in rl too support for the SN our sons have) and started posting very personal things about me that I had told her in confidence, the posts were immediately deleted and she was banned and I immediately blocked her. Then she started texting me saying she was coming round to hit me and calling my son a lot of not very nice names. I text her back saying if she came to my home I would call the police and to calm down. Then didn't reply to the massive amounts of texts I got.

This was all last night.

This morning a mum from school came up to me and told me she has been spreading a load of lies about me on fb.new rant every 10 minutes. I laughed and said to ignore it, it's just childish and I wouldn't reply, the other mum said I should stick up for myself more.

My argument is; she's lost free childcare, she's shown herself up in front of everyone in the only support group around here, she's continuing to show herself up on fb.

I don't feel like stooping to her level and putting things on Facebook...I'm 24 not 15. (she is 32 by the way also not 15)

But the other mum seemed to think I was being a bit of a push over letting her say what she likes.

Don't get me wrong I am very upset by this but I figure anyone who believes a grown woman ranting on Facebook isn't really worth the hassle anyway? AIBU to just ignore or should I do something ?

OP posts:
DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 17:42

You are probably right noqontrol... She has told me a lot of private stuff about others. Including one about someones rape trial and telling me the woman needs to stop boring everyone by winging about it... Ok thinking about it I've no clue why we were friends in the first place

OP posts:
headinhands · 03/07/2012 17:45

Reminds me of one if this. static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1337837817634_2442905.png

Noqontrol · 03/07/2012 17:47

We live and learn don't we! She sounds like an evil cow. I would imagine the majority of people can see her for what she is. Generally if you're thinking something about a person, others are too, even if you don't talk about it.

Noqontrol · 03/07/2012 17:48

Grin headinhands. Thats great.

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 18:18

Headinhands that's great! I posted this on fb:

I apologise to any friends involved in this mess, there has been a lot of lies and rumours flying around. If anyone needs to I will be happy to show people the messages involved. However I do not want to discuss this publicly all over Facebook so if you need anything please inbox me or text me. Thank you.

Is that ok?

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 03/07/2012 18:18

Absolutely 100 percent perfect. Well done!

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 18:33

Thank you everyone for all your help. Feels a bit too much like high school for a grown up site but oh well

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 03/07/2012 19:13

Well done Dozy, that sounds great. Hope she effs right off now!

alphabite · 03/07/2012 19:36

She sounds horrible and unhinged. Well done OP for dealing with this sensibly.

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 19:42

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
kickassangel · 03/07/2012 19:49

tbh - if someone started posting a load of crap about another person on fb I would
a) think poorly of the poster, and
b) not believe any of it anyway.

So even if what she says is true, I doubt if other people will believe her. In fact, the more she posts, the less likely she is to be believed.

And is she posting all this on fb when she's at work? I can't imagine a bank being happy about that.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 03/07/2012 19:54

I would not have posted that or anything tbh, I think in doing so she will get a glitch of excitment in knowing she bothering you enough to have wrote that and she will post something else talk to someone about what you have posted. Thus having you eating out of her hands.

Through going to the police and keeping it between you and the police she may well be shocked enough or just feel very very silly and stop.

Noqontrol · 03/07/2012 19:57

I think her glitch of excitement would soon be dampened when the police turn up though.

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 03/07/2012 19:59

Oh absolutly, I think if op is definatly going to the police also then yes fair enough.

MammaTJ · 03/07/2012 20:05

Stay where you are!! The moral high ground has a much better view.

You have done nothing wrong!! She has done plenty. You are not being a doormat, that would have been you saying you would have her child regardless of her treatment of you. You didn't. Remove that doormat tag.

Do not have internet bully tag to add to the list though!! You are doing exactly the right thing!!

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 20:22

I wouldn't bully anyone i am not interested in slagging her off either. I think if she thinks people will actually see her messages (and my two/ three totally uninsulting replies) they will know she's chatting bubbles so she might stop just in case anyone asks me. Or am I off the mark?

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 03/07/2012 20:48

No you're fine. You've written a good message and you don't need to correspond any more with the wench. Contact the police, let them have a word with her and absolutely ignore any texts or fb messages she posts from now on. She'll have no fuel for her fire then, and pretty soon will show herself for the sad individual she is.

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 20:52

Thank you everyone :)

OP posts:
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 03/07/2012 20:59

definatly not bullying op, and i probably should not have posted that i didnt think you should have posted on facebook. Just that I probably would not have, but not to say i am right as others agree you should have and no harm will come of the fact that you have. sorry i did not mean to make you dount your self Smile.

you have done wrong and have handled your self well where this woman is concerned. go to the police and they will deal with it.

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 21:17

Thanks troll I don't think you should apologise though I probably wouldn't have until I read it on here and thought that it might make her think. That's why I posted for honest opinions as I honestly had no clue about how to deal with a childish situation as an adult Sad I'm too old for this.

OP posts:
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 03/07/2012 21:22

Smile you are doing the right things, let us know what the police say tomorrow.

StarryCole · 03/07/2012 21:34

Well done DozyDuck. Stay strong and true to yourself. You know who your real friends are.

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