to ask you what jobs your children do around the house

[biddysmama]

spin off from my packed lunch thread, serious question tho, i was my mums (and brother and sister) carer when i was 10 so not sure whats normal

So dd just emptied the dishwasher for 50p. It took her 15 minutes. Are you supposed to praise them like when they're little or is it just a business arrangement?

Mine are still tiny (4,3 and 2)so don't really have to do anything.When they are older i hope they will do bits around the house but their rooms i will let them keep however they want,my mum was always "cleaning" my room and snooping round my stuff finding fags and reading my diary so i will let them have their own space totally.

Can i just say,i don't think it makes much difference whether you make your kids do housework when they are little,i didn't (actually was not allowed to do housework because we wouldn't do it properly) and even though it was a slight shock,especially as i went straight from my mums to living with dh and having a baby,it didn't take long to learn how to do housework and i am a better cook than my mum ever was!These things are easy to learn,it makes no difference whether you learn them when your 4 or 24.

fedup2012 "They won't even do chores for money, I'm saddled now with making them do it BECAUSE I SAID SO."

I get the impression you would rather NOT make your DC help because you say so.

Why is that? Genuinely interested.

Also, how old are your DC fedup?

DD cooked dinner this evening.

my dd is 3.1 and I encourage her to scrape her plate in the bin and put it in the sink, dirty washing in the basket and tidy up toys. She will also put dirty washing in the washer! I do encourage her to do it because my Mum did everything for me and my siblings and when I moved out I knew nothing! I want dd to help out and not view all the house stuff as my responsibility (I'm a L.P) but as something everybody in the house has to do.

Me and dh both go by "if it bothers you,do it" theres certain things that annoy me so i do them,and theres certain things that annoy him that i dont notice,like marks on walls,doors etc,so he does them when he wants to.

No.... I'm sorry. Please take notice! DD (ie my daughter) cooked dinner this evening for all 5 of us. Cooked it from scratch with no help whatsoever!

It deserves a whoop whoop at the very least

regards pocket money, my children dont get paid to help out! they do it because we are a family unit, a household and we all contribute to the mess so we all contribute to the tidying up and running of the household! and yes they may grumble about it, but its the same as any other bad behaviour, if they dont tidy up there will be consequences, no xbox time, toys taken away that are left out, the other evening ds1 and ds2 were meant to be sorting their room whilst i made dinner, they had 40mins to do it (it was a 10min job!) they faffed and faffed and in the end i said you wont be eating your dinner until its done, so if dinner is cold then that is your OWN fault! funnily enough they then knuckled down and tidied up!

and yes i praise them and say thankyou etc for them helping out, in the same way they say thankyou for dinner etc, its good manners!

WHOOP WHOOP to ormiriathomiums' dd

THankyou 5

Agree with 5madthings

Have never paid DC to help out around the house. I don't pay them to do many things they have to do, helping keep their homes reasonably tidy is one of those things.

Imo, paying DC to help out is a slippery slope, but if it works for you, fair enough.

DD1 is 3 she:

With supervision/direction she tidies her bedroom, loads washing machine/dryer, hangs up washing and puts clean clothes away, bakes cakes and biscuits

Without direction upon asking (or on own initiative for some things) she puts rubbish in the bin, emptys snack plate/bowl into bin and puts in sink, can vacuum up mess if I take off the long pole, helps cook and wash up for certain items (sees this as fun), makes bed and tidies teddies on bed, puts clothes in dirty laundry basket, tidies bath toys. sweeps floor with her mini dustpan and brush when I am sweeping and dusts with her duster when I am dusting.

To her they are not jobs, just as imnotmymum says they are life and things that need to be done. She sees both her parents cleaning and cooking so naturally wants to imitate.

littlemiss they are 12 and 14. They SO should know better. 12 year old has SN, and everything is a bit harder for her, hence dishwasher emptying taking 15 minutes instead of 5.

fedup Imo, children generally go through a stage of wanting to help, before realising it's boring/hard/novelty wears off, and then don't want to.

At 12 and 14, I absolutely would not pay them to help around the house. They wont be happy with 50p for long, honestly.

Also, I get DC's to help according to their ability, not their age, so it wouldn't bother me that 12 yr old had taken 15 minutes to empty dishwasher.

In my house for example, after dinner, no one plays/relaxes/chills out until the house is tidy...plates scraped, dishes washed (no dishwasher here), drying up/putting dishes away, wiping worktops, sweeping floor, emptying bins, mopping floor, wiping table etc and after everything has been done, either myself or DS (whoever has finished whichever bit they were doing last) makes a nice cup of tea.

It was not so long ago that DS refused to do anything, so I empathise with you, but I had to put my foot down, and listen to him moan every single evening after dinner for at least 2 months.

Now he is the one chivvying me along after dinner to get on with it because he knows no one sits/relaxes/chills out until it's done.

my 12 almost 13yr old def moans more now about helping out than he ever has done! i think thats an age thing, but i just explain that we ALL help and he is expected to pitch in. no payment but yes i will remove privilidges if he doesnt do as asked. ditto what littemiss says everyone helps out and they dont get to play, go on xobox or whatever until its done.

I have noticed with my 3 that they are different and ds1 and paticularly dd1 do things without being asked to,putting cups in the sink,rubbish in bin,asking to help with laundry,my ds2 shows no interest at all except unloading the dishwasher and turning it on when its full.They are all under 5 so i guess to them its just fun.

DC's 15,17 and 19
Take turns emptying dishwasher. Put all their dirty plates etc in dishwasher, DC1 and DC2 mow lawn and help in garden, all help unloading and unpacking shopping, all help sorting laundry, keep own rooms tidy, clean away own mess around house ie towels, dirty cloths, school books etc , dc2 and DC3 cook supper for each other about once a week. DC3 helps keep kitchen clean and will cook biscuits/cakes etc whenever needed. My DC3 also makes lots of teas and coffees. We have a cleaner so the house stays pretty tidy.
I am surprised that it's ended up that my boys do the gardening and my daughter does the kitchen......DEFINITLY did not mean to be so sexist. It just evolved like that. I do all the DIY, car maintainence etc so I am not a bad role model
I don't pay them for doing chores.

My dd (6) and ds (3) don't have set jobs but both actively enjoy 'helping' around the house. My dd practically begs for jobs to do (put laundry away, fill washer, hoover etc) and has took it upon herself to declare cleaning the bathroom is her job, which for obvious reasons I don't argue about My ds will also actively help with household chores particularly when it involves clothes.

DD(9) and DS2(13) both have to keep their rooms tidy ( though I help Dd every month or so or it gets a bit unmanageable) and put their laundry in the laundry basket. DD also keeps the playroom tidy as she is the only person to use it.

Both of them have to set the table, clear and load and unload the dishwasher together. DS walks the dog daily, DD empties the recycling into the outside bins. Between them they also sort, fold and put everyone's clean clothes into their rooms (and put away their own). My responsibility ends when the clothes are clean and dry!

DS2 is supposed to clean the sink and toilet in the bathroom he shares with his brother. 18yo DS1 does the shower, tiles and floor (DS1 is solely responsible for his own room, I rarely go there!). DD cleans her sink but I do the rest as I don't want her handling bleach. Bathrooms are the biggest source of nagging, everything else gets done fairly happily.

Aged 5 and 8 years.

Tidy rooms every Wednesday (cleaner comes)
Clothes in laundry basket
Help with weekly online shopping delivery
Lay table
Take plates to kitchen

Littlemiss, I think I've just been too easygoing about it, tend to expect DP to do dishes if I've cooked, which he doesn't. When I grew up we did the same, no rest until the house is sorted after supper.

I will focus on that (it worked last eve, but dp was out) and then their clothes and bathroom debris when they get in after school. This is the danger time, they settle too easily into leisure as I feel they need a,break, then it becomes really hard to get them off the screens.

They were so helpful when they were little, what happened?

My DS (9), lays the table, takes dishes to kitchen, washes up said dishes and puts them away once dried. Helps put the clothes on the line, if not upstairs on the airing rack. He also makes his own breakfast and lunch if he's at home. He gets £1 each day he does his chores. He's generally a tidy boy so his room is most of the time clean and tidy.

Dcs are 9 and (nearly) 8.

Washing in laundry basket
Put own washing away
Keep bedroom and playroom tidy
Feed and clean out Ginuea Pigs
Clear table
Wash own dishes
Empty own wastepaper bin
Make lunch together once a week
If make a mess, clear up mess