to ask you what jobs your children do around the house

[biddysmama]

spin off from my packed lunch thread, serious question tho, i was my mums (and brother and sister) carer when i was 10 so not sure whats normal

My eight year old can tackle most jobs around the house but we don't have a routine for them. I just ask him to as and when.

The exception is his own personal care, like bedmaking, keeping his room clean, putting his dirty clothes in the wash.

I've always thought it was good for my children to be able to take care of themselves and their home. As a child, I was always proud of the fact I could be trusted to get on with chores without help.

The only downside for my older children was, when they left home, none of their housemates knew on end of a hoover from the other, let alone how to scrub the shower out when they'd finished. So my children both ended up doing more than their fair share.

We do not have particular jobs, all make bed, keep room tidy but I do go and do it as well likewise washing up or gardening, or rubbish it depends who is closest within ear shot. We are a team and do things for each other whenever it is necessary. All mine can cook and bake. I have 13,12 10, 9 and if I broke both my legs the household would run smoothly. I think teaching team work is more important than instilling "jobs" they are not "jobs" just life.

Sometimes I wish there was a "like" button on here

It depends on the child's ability and maturity.

Some kids are confident enough to cook meals at the age of 10 and even do a bit of shopping whilst others can only help vacuum or tidy their bedrooms.

My dd is 11 and she is expected to put dirty clothes in the laundry, keep her room tidy, clean out her hamster cage and sometimes set the table. She can be left alone to bake things and I am teaching her how to cook simple meals. She can also be sent to the shop on errands.

Every other Saturday she comes with me to work (I clean a B&B) and she will help me to make the rooms, set the breakfast table, do the laundry, etc etc. For this I give her £6 pocket money.

It's surprising what children are actually capable of if adults just let them get on with it. But because these days kids get so much homework I guess that has to take precedence, you don't want them having no free time at all do you?

Draw up a rota, assign jobs and then go through the jobs with them step by step as I have found that if I tell dd to 'tidy her room', she has a different meaning of the word 'tidy' than I do. So I break it down and tell her exactly what I expect her to do. That works.

DS 12:

Cleans his room daily
Sets and clears table
Packs the dishwasher
Puts out the rubbish
He also picks up the pine cones and washes my car for extra cash

DS 17
Cleans his room daily
Helps vacuum
Rinses dishes before DS2 puts them in dish washer
Cooks for the family once a week
Puts rubbish out with DS2

DS 24
Has become another parent to his siblings and an extra pair of hands to me
He cooks dinner twice a week. And he pays board for his keep.

DS, 12: supposed to tidy room (v difficult task!), put dirty clothes in laundry basket, put away clean clothes , sweep wooden staircase to his loft once a week and occasionally watch his little sisters.

DD1, 10: keep room tidy, hoover room, put away clean laundry, help little sister with hwk once or twice a week, feed fish.

DD2, 6: tidy room, dust (she loves this) and feed cats

I do nag about messy bedrooms and stuff but their pocket money is dependent on good behaviour, not on doing chores.

My 1.11 year old feeds the cats. He gets quite cross now if I do it. He loves scooping the (dry) food into the bowls, and gets cross with the cats if they try and eat it before he's finished...

My kids (12 and 9) have to keep their bedrooms tidy, clear up after themselves, and do the washing up. I sometimes have to get them to do a bit more if I'm having a flareup but they muck in at those points because they know things need doing.

Cleaning bedrooms daily? Gosh how dirty can they get in 24 hrs.

DD1 (10)
Clear the breakfast/lunch/dinner table and put dirty plates into the dishwasher
Feed/water/clean out and general care of her guinea pig
Keep room tidy, dirty washing in basket, make bed, etc

DD2 (6)
lay table for breakfast/lunch/dinner
Guinea pig care and room maintenance as for DD1

Both are expected to put away their stuff, hang up coats and book bags, put shoes away and any ad hoc jobs as requires

Dd is 7 ds is 5 they have to take their own plates out etc every meal.

They Hoover/sweep at my request, help with washing at my request.

Put their own washing away, they put gheir own dirty washing in the linen bin, clean the bathroom sink adter themselves, tidy their bedrooms when I ask.

Dd sometimes helps with the dishwasher but is pretty clumsy so has to be supervised.

Oh and they both have to make their own beds and open their curtains each morning too.

My mantra is 'I'm not your slave I'm your mother'

Ds dusts the gloss unit thing. He uses his comforter,he is a few days short of being one.

Ds (11) and dd (9) both help to

1/ Lay the table for meals
2/ Clear the table after meals
3/ Unload and load dishwasher
4/ Feed and water the guinea pigs / tarantula / birds
5/ Vaccuum rooms when asked
6/ Clean out animals
7/ Takes out rubblish / sorts recycling when asked
8/ Put away their laundry and take it down to washing machine
9/ Keep rooms tidy
10/ Mow the lawn

and other odds and sods

Originalplucker, have you seen how slovenly teenage boys are? Half the dishes from the kitchen disappear up into their rooms over night. Their rooms are also small, and smaller rooms get messier quickly.

Damsel [grins] oh I have all this to come ...

I mean

We do not have particular jobs, all make bed, keep room tidy but I do go and do it as well likewise washing up or gardening, or rubbish it depends who is closest within ear shot. We are a team and do things for each other whenever it is necessary. All mine can cook and bake. I have 13,12 10, 9 and if I broke both my legs the household would run smoothly. I think teaching team work is more important than instilling "jobs" they are not "jobs" just life.

Also agree with this.

The only things the DC wont do is wash dishes, or do bins. DS refuses (ASD) and DD is too young (3.11).

My dd 10, tidy's her room, polishes and puts her clothes away. she can also make hot drinks, Hoover, put some washing on,make a simple meal and bake. I dont make her do these though, she normally offer's.
My ds 3 likes to 'help' with washing up, sweeping up, mopping and helps with baking. I help him with making his bed and tidying his toys.

DS1 (13) - put the dishwashing on, put clothes on the line, put his clothes away, keep his room tidy

DS2 (10) bring the washing in, put his clothes away, tidy up his lego/keep room tidy

DS3, 4 & 5 (8, 8 & 5) put their clothes away, keep room tidy.

They do fall down on the keeping the room tidy, but really I need to go into DS3, 4 and 5's room and chuck loads out.

Tidy their own rooms.
Bring up their own laundry.
Take their plates to the kitchen after eating.
Help me carry shopping in and put some away.
Dd (5) likes to help cook dinner.

That's about it really. They are 9 and 5 and ds aged 9 has SN.

ds 17- takes ds 8 to school(its on his way)
feeds the dog -am
washes the dogs bowls
sorts out recycling
washes tea dishes-sometimes
mows the lawns/weeds garden-sometimes
make his bed
put his clothes away
dd 15- ironing
make her bed
put her clothes away
ds 13-drys tea dishes.
pairs the socks
makes his bed
puts his ironing away
ds 8- feeds dog -pm
makes his bed.
weeding
cleans the car-sort of?

Ds is 11 -
lay the table and clear away
clothes in wash basket
bring in washing from the line
make his bed
keep his room fairly tidy
tidy away toys/games etc
get bag ready for school
feeds and cleans out hamster

This is just some of what ds does, basically he mucks in and does what is needed, doesn't have specific jobs.

He can also cook a simple meal and make hot drinks.

Dd is 5 and expected to keep her room tidy, put dirty clothes in the wash and generally tidy up her toys. She actively likes helping to cook and make beds (weirdo!), and is capable of getting her own breakfast.
I am slightly aghast that some mothers still make their adult children packed lunches, but I suppose i shouldn't be; when I was at university a boy in my halls had his mum turn up with a roast dinner on a plate for him every Sunday . Plus I know someone who dresses her pfb 14 year old son in the mornings (he has no SN) because he is too tired after all his hard work at school and round the clock extra curricular lessons. Gob smacking.

My 4.5 year old turns the dishwasher on and empties it when done. He also loads the washing machine and when that's done, he puts the load in the tumble dryer and switches it on.
I don't make him do it, he loves it and has a tantrum if I do it.

As I said in the other email from 10 made the evening meal, this was laying the table, making the meal clearing up and washing up, leaving the kitchen tidy one evening a week.

I was also expected to keep my half of the bedroom tidy, bring clothes/bedding down to be washed (though didn?t use the machine a lot as Mum tended to run it at night). That was the standard.

Other bits were hang out washing/ bring it in fold, started helping with ironing from 12. Basically encouraged to see all the little things that need to be done to keep a house running.

Brother was expected to do the same, we were all taught to wire a plug do basic maintenance, change a tire, and change a washer. We can all knit, yes brother too, and sew after a fashion (it?ll hold a hem up but never win a prize.)

Both my parents worked, they started their own company after Dad was made redundant very suddenly with no pay out. While none of us went without we all knew things were tight.

We knew that Mum and Dad were working all the hours they could to keep the family going so pulling your weight around the house wasn?t a big ask, particularly when you knew that as soon as they?d ate and chatted with us and got the littlest ones to bed they were going back out to work.

At the start of the company they regularly worked 18+ hours.

I don?t think knowing about the family finances and been expected to help out did me any harm. It did mean that where and when I can I always have some money put away just in case. (Sadly we?ve had a just in case day recently so no cushion at the moment).

And that the family is a unit, we all have a role to play and as and when others in the family need help and support we should be there for them.