to feel a bit offened and slightly embarrased at this

[MrsBucketxx]

I am currently staying in a hotel in kl. its full of all sorts of nationalities etc, who on the whole are lovely and really friendly and love playing and making a fuss of dc's.

Today is the first morning i hav breakfasted on my own with the dc's which are 10 months and two, i always have the staff playing with them etc.

all was well until a british lady came over and said in shocked tones " wow are you on your own travelling with two little ones, your brave" i explained that dh was at work etc, but was mortified and could feel the redness in my face. i didnt like the way she almost made me feel like i had to explian myself.

am i BU or just over sensitive

Not too be mean but hugely over sensitive if that's all she said? It is pretty 'brave' to be wrangling two little ones at breakfast on ur own. She didn't say anything else??

I find a lot of people (esp women) like to come over to admire young children. I don't think she meant any criticism by her comment, maybe even a bit of admiration, but it's just something to say!

Agree with Chalie - can't see anything at all offensive or embarrassing - or would you be embarrassed to have people think you and the kids might go somewhere without your husband or be a single mum - why is that embarrassing (inaccurate, but not embarrassing or offensive).

My DH works long hours and there are lots of things I do with the kids on my own too - I've had similar comments even locally (I do sometimes have lunch out with my 3, and take them and sometimes a friend of my eldest too on a day out on my own, which really isn't as hard as some people seem to expect it would be, as they are all relatively well behaved and I pick the venues with some forethought! Maybe people are a bit nosey to comment but as the comments are positive and complimentary I cannot see any reason whatsoever to be embarrassed or offended!).

Over sensitive I'm afraid. Why were you "mortified"? I really don't understand? Sounds like she was giving you a compliment and some sympathy. I have a small baby and often get comments from strangers ("don't worry, it gets easier" - that kind of thing). It's best not to over analyse comments from strangers and, if in doubt, assume them to be meant kindly!

I can't really see how "You're brave" is an insult.

i have two kids, so like most of us here, and the woman who spoke to you, we know just how draining two kids can be, it is brave, whether your male or female, take it as a complement.

You were offended and mortified? Seriously?

I am confused, whose staff plays with the kids?
Sounds to me that you are mortified that she nay have thought you were a single parent. If you were a single parent there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. And I don't think it was some under hand comment about your marital status. I know several women who travel alone with their kids, one to visit. her dh where he works.
Yabvu.

If this is the type of thing that offends, mortifies you or embarrases you, get used to it. There's a lot more to come. You sure need to chill out and get a grip.

It's a compliment. Accept it. Women are always seen managing children, many have 3, 4 or 5. What do you have to be mortified about?

I'd have probably said "You have your hands full", but to a lot of people travelling anywhere with young children is 'brave'.

Huh? How is that even a little offensive?

Seriously, grow a thicker skin.

She was being nice, why do you think it could be offensive or embarrassing?

It was an acknowledgement that what you were doing might be challenging. Take it as a compliment.

Good Lord, you were offended by that?

I imagine she just noticed you looked British and fancied a chat, so picked the first topic of conversation that came into her head. That's all.

Blimey, some people are impossibly high maintenance aren't they?

I don't get it

I don't see why you're mortified. I remember getting similar comments occasionally in certain situations with the dc. And a number of people told me I was 'brave' when I returned to work with 2 dc. It's a bit of a meaningless thing to say, but I never read it as offensive or rude. Just small talk really.

I don't get it either - is it a joke?

How have you managed to have had 2 small children for 10 months now, and this is the first time someone has called you 'brave' or observed that 'you have your hands full'?

i suppose i am being over sensitive, its the first time being alone at breakfast with them, she was kinda loud and others where looking.

i do feel like im not coping with them at times (ds is too big for a high chair and wont sit still), and it felt like i was being judged.

im alone all the time with them in the uk and it wouldnt have botherd me at all at home.

its quiet normal here for staff everywhere to be freindly with children. not odd at all.

give me a few more weeks and ill be fine no doubt. i need a slap

Jeez it doesn't take much to offend you. Please get over yourself.

im am belive me

Cannot understand why you were offended at that, at all.

You were being judged. Judged to be someone who is doing a good job and coping admirably in a situation that would perhaps daunt a lot of people - far from home, in unfamiliar hotel surroundings, alone, on public view, with two small children.
If doing well mortifies and offends you, you're going to spend a lot of time being both in years to come

i felt like she was saying your children are unrully as i said A LOT oversensitive