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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not change my newborn DDs name

103 replies

Skeetle · 01/07/2012 11:20

My DD was born last week and we've called her Jennifer. We spent a long time choosing names which was difficult as we wanted a recognisable, classic but not very common name and DP and I have very different taste We're very happy with the choice and we've told family and friends.

My partner has a son from his previous relationship and his ex has a 2 year old DD with her new partner. Her DD is called Guinevere, though most often known as Evie.

My partner has just had an email from the ex saying that she's not too happy with our choice of name. Were we aware that Jennifer is the Cornish derivative of Guinevere, she doesn't think its fair on DSS to have 2 sisters with 'effectively the same name' and she thinks we should change it to something else.

We did find out there was a connection between the names when we were looking up Jennifer after deciding we liked it. However we felt they sounded so different and that not many people would be aware connection that we discounted it as a problem very early in the process.

I don't want to change her name. AIBU?

OP posts:
rainydaysarebad · 01/07/2012 11:22

Well she should be lucky you didn't have a son and name him Lancelot. I'd keep the name.

tiddleypompom · 01/07/2012 11:22

How absurd. Of course YANBU!

slatternlymother · 01/07/2012 11:23

YANBU, I think it's lovely and connects them as half sisters in a really nice way Smile

Is your partners ex always this vocal about her opinions?

perceptionreality · 01/07/2012 11:23

Your partner's ex has a damned cheek - nobody owns a name! You do not even have to answer to her.

Keep the name you have chosen.

maples · 01/07/2012 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DanyTargaryen · 01/07/2012 11:24

Ooh tell her to bugger off, keep dd's name the one YOU CHOSE. It's absolutely sweet fa to do with her!

TodaysAGoodDay · 01/07/2012 11:25

No, YANBU. She has no decision in your choice of names, just ignore her and go with what you like. FWIW I think Jennifer is a lovely name.

squareegg · 01/07/2012 11:25

They sound nothing like each other. Loads of names share roots/meanings, but the shortenings of Evie and Jenny are worlds apart! Doubt dss gives a damh, she's totally projecting her feels onto him!

JustOneMoreBiscuit · 01/07/2012 11:25

YANBU, she is.

gwenniebee · 01/07/2012 11:26

Blimey.... keep your name! How dare she?!!

Krumbum · 01/07/2012 11:27

They sound nothing alike! What a weirdo, it has nothing to do with her.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 01/07/2012 11:27

Email back and tell her you're changing the name to her name, with her mother's name as the middle name. That should shut her up Wink

Sparks1 · 01/07/2012 11:28

What in the actual fuck?!

Tell her to do one. With bells on.

Original poster
Skeetle · 01/07/2012 11:28

That's not a bad point to make to her Slatternly. I'll suggest DP try it and see what she says.

And sadly yes, she is always vocal and in her view always right.

OP posts:
CoffeeDog · 01/07/2012 11:29

It's a lovley name - keep it!!

NarkedRaspberry · 01/07/2012 11:29

What's the polite version of 'Do fuck off?'

Original poster
Skeetle · 01/07/2012 11:29

oooh but very tempted by PomBear suggestion...

OP posts:
CecilyP · 01/07/2012 11:30

Don't change the name! She is being unreasonable - it is not even the same name - just the derivation. Unless the connection is pointed out to DSS, as a small child, he is unlikely to make it himself, so how on earth is it unfair to him. I have known families where step/half brothers not only really did have the same name, but lived in the same household and even they managed to cope.

GnocchiNineDoors · 01/07/2012 11:31

She sounds like a nutter.

If you had a DD called Margaret and she then had a Daisy, I can't imagine you'd be on her back about one being the derivative of another.

Jennifer is a lovely name. Stick to your guns, safe in the knowledge that at least you now know who the barmy member of the family is.

StrawberryMojito · 01/07/2012 11:33

I had no idea there was a connection between these names and I doubt many people would. But like an above poster says, it's actually really sweet for them to have a name with the same meaning.

My father left my mum when she was pregnant and was absent throughout my childhood bar the odd meeting. He went on to remarry and called his second daughter the exact same name as me. When my mum understandably challenged him on this, he said he forgot!!

sneezecakesmum · 01/07/2012 11:35

tell her to get stuffed. absurd!

bushymcbush · 01/07/2012 11:37

Skeetle - congratulations on the birth of your daughter. What a beautiful name you have chosen. That name is in my family too and I have given it as a middle name to one of my dds. Enjoy your beautiful little girl.

Oh, and do ignore your partner's ex. How absurd of her to even pass comment.

HeadfirstForHalos · 01/07/2012 11:37

They aren't the same name, they may have the same meaning but that is a lovely connection between them.

Don't feel the need to change her name, she is just being picky.

Sallyingforth · 01/07/2012 11:38

"What's the polite version of 'Do fuck off?'"

Why a polite one? The correct answer is "Get your fucking nose out of my fucking business you nosey fucking cow!"

holyfishnets · 01/07/2012 11:40

They are two separate names and are nothing alike. It's quite nice there is a link though. Stick to lovely Jennifer. Email her and say it took a long time to choose the name and that think the name sounds different and that you would be shocked if anyone got them confused.