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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not change my newborn DDs name

103 replies

Skeetle · 01/07/2012 11:20

My DD was born last week and we've called her Jennifer. We spent a long time choosing names which was difficult as we wanted a recognisable, classic but not very common name and DP and I have very different taste We're very happy with the choice and we've told family and friends.

My partner has a son from his previous relationship and his ex has a 2 year old DD with her new partner. Her DD is called Guinevere, though most often known as Evie.

My partner has just had an email from the ex saying that she's not too happy with our choice of name. Were we aware that Jennifer is the Cornish derivative of Guinevere, she doesn't think its fair on DSS to have 2 sisters with 'effectively the same name' and she thinks we should change it to something else.

We did find out there was a connection between the names when we were looking up Jennifer after deciding we liked it. However we felt they sounded so different and that not many people would be aware connection that we discounted it as a problem very early in the process.

I don't want to change her name. AIBU?

OP posts:
CecilyP · 01/07/2012 11:43

She sounds like an particularly strident individual who likes to make her opinions known. Just tell her that you keeping with your choice and have registered Jennifer. She will get over it surprisingly quickly and be onto the next thing to be annoyed about.

BTW, love your story StrawberryMojito.

DontmindifIdo · 01/07/2012 11:51

It's not likely that anyone who hasn't researched these particular baby names would know the link, unless she's gone round telling all and sundry that Guinevere is a version of Jennifer, why would anyone know?

Sallyingforth · 01/07/2012 11:55

I don't see the relevance of whether it's a related name, or linked name, or even the exact same name.

You chose the name that you wanted for your baby. End of.

WhiteWidow · 01/07/2012 11:57

She's a right fucking divvy isn't she? Who the hell is going to know anyway unless they're told...

diddl · 01/07/2012 12:01

Well if the children in question were half siblings, I would find it odd that they have essentially the same name tbh.

But as they are not...

WTAF has it got to do with her?

JenFraggle · 01/07/2012 12:02

Speaking as a Cornish Jennifer...

Tell her where to go. It's not as if her DD is called Jenny, I only know about the connection because it is my name. Most people wouldn't

saffronwblue · 01/07/2012 12:07

YANBU. Congratulations on your dd. She has no right to have any say in what you name YOUR DD. She could perhaps change her DD's name if she is bothered.
The girls are technically not related to each other if I have followed the story and the names are not identical- just connected.

Original poster
Skeetle · 01/07/2012 12:13

Strawberry Shock

I think she is a little territorial about names I suspect and has called all her children unusual and individual names. DSS's name is even more unusual than Guinevere that I don't dare mention it here in case it suddenly comes up as the only result for that name on google. Her other son is called Lysander.

That's right saffron - they are not related and we live in different towns. The relationship between DP and his ex is not great and whilst I think it might be nice for DSS if the girls did meet at some point, they are not likely to have a great deal to do with each other.

OP posts:
diddl · 01/07/2012 12:16

"unless she's gone round telling all and sundry that Guinevere is a version of Jennifer, why would anyone know?"

Because they sound so similar?

Driftwood999 · 01/07/2012 12:27

Op, many congratualtions on the arrival of your dear little Jennifer, it's a lovely name and we should know after 26 years Smile

Casmama · 01/07/2012 12:33

I would write bak and say that you are sorry she is not happy and she can feel free to change her daughters name but you will not be changing yours.

Casmama · 01/07/2012 12:33

Back

Driftwood999 · 01/07/2012 12:33

imo the ex is looking for an excuse to interfer and is being more than a tad inappropriate, maybe testing your confidence? What others have said on where to go!

WilsonFrickett · 01/07/2012 12:36

I would write back and say you're not changing, and now she's pointed out the similarity you're even more happy with DD's name and isn't it lovely for the two sisters to have a name that means the same thing.

But then I can be somewhat passive-aggressive on occasion Grin

sesameflower · 01/07/2012 12:45

Yanbu. It is absolutely none of her concern. How exceptionally rude to try and dictate.

PenisVanLesbian · 01/07/2012 12:52

They aren't sisters though, half or otherwise. They aren't related at all, they share a brother but are not slightly related.

And I wouldn't ever connect Jennifer and Guinevere, they look and sound totally different.

letsblowthistacostand · 01/07/2012 12:58

I would ignore. If she pushes, just say look, we're not changing the name, get over yourself. And refuse to discuss any further.

HmmThinkingAboutIt · 01/07/2012 13:07

Not being funny, but you don't think she's doing this to be a vindictive bitch and try and cause problems between you and your partner?

She's interfering on something thats petty and nothing to do with her.

If you did change your daughters name, you'd be giving her the message that she has that level of control over you.

The two names are nothing like each other. Tell her where to shove it.

TapirBackRider · 01/07/2012 13:17

You don't have to provide her with any explanation at all - email her back, saying "what a pity you feel that way". It's not feeding her sense of self importance then, and doesn't really give her room to further argue her point.

If she does email you back demanding you change the name, just say no. She's being a twonk, and trying it on IMO.

MrsBovary · 01/07/2012 13:21

They're not names I would use for siblings, one just being a different form of the other. I do think they're similar.

However, I don't think it problematic for you, and would not change the name. Whether you think it would really be 'fair' to her ds is something for you to decide. Personally, I wouldn't think it a problem. Plus, it sounds like the nick forms used for both will be quite different.

Sidge · 01/07/2012 13:23

Well it's got the square root of naff all to do with her so I'd ignore her.

The girls aren't even related (they share a half brother) so she has no business in bothering what your DDs name is.

bobbledunk · 01/07/2012 13:25

yanbu. They're completely different names! She's a nutter, send her a get well soon card wishing her the best help for her mental problems.

Jennifer is a lovely name btw.

Crocodilio · 01/07/2012 13:28

Is Guinevere pronounced 'Jinnivere' or 'Gwinivere'? If the first, it does sound pretty similar and could perhaps be considered an odd name choice by you, but if the second, then YANBU.

JenFraggle · 01/07/2012 13:32

Bobbledunk :o

cocolepew · 01/07/2012 13:33

Tell her to take a hike. It has nothing to do with her what you call your DD.