To not change my newborn DDs name

[Skeetle]

My DD was born last week and we've called her Jennifer. We spent a long time choosing names which was difficult as we wanted a recognisable, classic but not very common name and DP and I have very different taste We're very happy with the choice and we've told family and friends.

My partner has a son from his previous relationship and his ex has a 2 year old DD with her new partner. Her DD is called Guinevere, though most often known as Evie.

My partner has just had an email from the ex saying that she's not too happy with our choice of name. Were we aware that Jennifer is the Cornish derivative of Guinevere, she doesn't think its fair on DSS to have 2 sisters with 'effectively the same name' and she thinks we should change it to something else.

We did find out there was a connection between the names when we were looking up Jennifer after deciding we liked it. However we felt they sounded so different and that not many people would be aware connection that we discounted it as a problem very early in the process.

I don't want to change her name. AIBU?

Not at all obvious.

YANBU.

YANBU. It's none of ex's business, she's just stirring.

She can change he daughter's name if she is that bothered.

They sound nothing alike so why should you change it. If you had chosen exactly the same name then maybe she'd have cause to be annoyed. But even then is it really any of her business what you choose to call your own child.

My Gran was the child of a re-married widow and widower and had two older sisters with exactly the same name living in the same house as her and it was never distressing for her in any way.

This is your child you can call her what ever you like and ignore the other nonsence.

I agree with you, Report. Evie doesn't seem as natural from Guinevere, as other nick names E.g. Gwen and Winnie

YANBU

Just when you think you've heard the most unreasonable thing another one comes along! Tell her to nob off and mind her own business.

My eldest DD has a sister through her dad with the middle name Louise. She has a sister through me with a middle name Louise. I knew, but really like the name Louise. Noone had a problem with it.

Don't cave in to the mad bint!!

Keep the name and let ex deal with it if she has a problem she should address your partner.

As the two girls are not related I don't think it is a big deal at all.

I know someone with a dd to ex called Robyn and a ds to his current dw calked Robert.

Thats too similar imo.

Mountain. Molehill. Silly woman (not you, OP)

Jennifer is lovely

P.S Guinevere is pretentious as hell, IMVHO

The fucking freak. Do NOT respond.

My cousin is called Jennifer. My aunt remarried a man who had a daughter of a similar age (both teenagers) also called Jennifer. If either of them have a problem with this they haven't mentioned it.

Names are so common that I think there has to be a limit to how wide a social circle you consider off-limits for duplicates - neighbours, friends, immediate family, extended family etc.

For a girl I'm considering a name which friends of my best friend have used. I have never met them (though I might in future at my best friend's wedding next year) and they don't live nearby - the name isn't rare but it also isn't popular and I love it. For a boy I'm considering a name which a cousin and uncle of mine shares. I only see them occasionally at family gatherings and the name is a common one which is important to my DH (after a deceased family member).

Its funny how with the best intention to pick a name that doesn't clash or copy those around us can backfire as others go through a similar process and come up with the same names. My name isn't paticuarly common, but there were three of us in the same primary class. My mum considered a rather unusual name for my DB1 but discounted it eventually because it was so rare, it still wasn't common when DB2 was born, but she went with it as she loved the name, there were several boys of a similar age called that.

I understand that Guinevere and Jennifer have the same root, but I don't think they are too similar for DSS to differentiate, especially as the nicknames are rather different. YANBU.

Skimmed, will read later but um...bollocks to that! Don't you dare change it. It's a) a lovely name b) none of her bloody business and c) a hell of a cheek.

Congratulations on your little girl btw :)

What the fuck has it got to do with her, keep the name, it is lovely:)

Oh dear, I'm going to be the only dissenting one on this (although I don't think you should change the name if you really love it...)

I do wonder that your shouldn't have considered this before you chose the name. It is fairly loose, the connection, but it is still a definititive connection. I don't think if I was your little girl, that I'd want the same name(ish) as someone who is a a kind-of sister. I'm not thinking of this woman's feelings, I just wonder that the name is close enough that it does seem like a 'of all the names in all the world why did you pick that particular one'...kind of thing.

I do love the name Jennifer, and it's in my family - we actually have 3 including cousins/SILs etc, but I do still wonder about choosing it for your DD. As it is, you love it, keep it but definitely consider not calling a son Galahad!

I'm researching my family history and have been amazed at the number of families that named full siblings Mary and Martha or Eliza and Elizabeth. Or something like George and Georgina and Henry and Henrietta.

YANBU!

But you could change it... To Guinevere. Or call her Evelyn and shorten it to Evie.

FFS no-one owns a name. She's being unreasonable just for the sake of it.

"My cousin is called Jennifer. My aunt remarried a man who had a daughter of a similar age (both teenagers) also called Jennifer. If either of them have a problem with this they haven't mentioned it."

That is nothing like the situation described.

There is something really weird and fucked up about how agressively some people on this forum defend their bizarre contention that "names are nit property".

Of course the OP and her partner should consider his son's feelings when choosing their daughter's name. That Jennifer and Guinevere are similar and related names was known to them when they chose to go with Jennifer.

I think it unlikely that any confusion will be caused for the small boy who has just had to welcome two half sisters into his life in short order, but it absolutely does matter that their names are different.

And why on earth should the OP be sweary and rude to her step-son's mother?

Is that really how you people conduct yourselves in life?

Or just how you want other people to for your entertainment?

Agree with everyone who says do not respond. She wants a reaction from you; don't give her the pleasure.
Congratulations on your new DD !!

I definitely don't think you should change the name. She is being stupidly obsessive and/or controlling.

However, I don't think you should be rude to your partner's ex in telling her . It's important for your DSS that relations between his two families are kept as good as possible. This is too stupid an issue to risk any long-term fall-out. I think you should try to find the politest, nicest possible way to tell her you won't be changing the name. Maybe even take a "I assume you weren't being serious in your request" approach and happily point out that it provides a lovely fortuitous equilibrium across the families that both of DSS's half sisters have connected names.