lazy teacher

[cheekypickle]

Am I a bad mum for sending DD (10 months) to the childminders even in the school holidays?

Everyone's made me feel really guilty now!

I did this with ds 1 before he started school. i worked 3 days a week and would continue with him going to nursery during the holidays, I would be a bit later dropping him off and a bit earlier picking him up, but otherwise he was there. i used the time for jobs that needed doing and work time.

Now both dcs are at school, so i only have term time childcare and have them at home. This is lovely, but I would make the most of the free time while you can!! You can always take her for special days out, time with you and have her with cm for the rest of the time.

I feel really guilty now!

Soory, that post wasnt meant to make you feel guilty!!! Dont feel guilty for wanting time to yourself, im sure your dc is happy with her cm, so why take her out for 6 wks and risk her losing that relationship!! Enjoy your holidays!!

I find that bizarre. Do you have particular reasons?

I would probably do 2 days a week for 6 weeks rather than 5 days a week for 4.

Well don't feel guilty, maybe just think about it a bit more :)

I know you're already feeling guilty but I have to say I think it's really sad. Every day? Really?
Maybe a couple of days but by working full time you're already missing so much. This is your chance to really spend quality time with her.

I find that bizarre. Do you have particular reasons?
Maybe the OP doesn't have any other help (relatives who can take over now and then) Maybe she needs to recharge. Maybe she has been working for the last few months and work continues into the evening and night. Maybe she needs a break?

I wouldn't because I absolutely love my time with my DS, it's far more important than school to me.

I love my job and don't miss DS when I'm at work but I'd miss him terribly if I was sat about at home without him. I can guess how you are feeling because I am exhausted right now and would give anything to sleep for 48hrs solid and to not have anybody need me, just for 5 minutes. I usually bounce back from that really quickly as soon as the holidays kick in though.

Maybe just send her to the CM for the first week while you recharge?

I think EVERY day for 6 weeks is weird. At 10 months your baby will still be having a mid morning nap, that in my experience is a long one due to constant crawling/walking. So you'll be paying your cm for effectively looking after a sleeping baby. You can loads done in that time and have your "me" time.

I think you should feel guilty. I know I would if I were to do something like that.

I think that's a pretty odd thing to do yes.

If it was 3 days, I'd say YANBU. Keeps a certain routine and gives you a break. But every day? Don't you want to spend any time with her? She's your little girl!

Sorry, but you did ask.

I couldn't

I work hard in a FT role in 70% condensed time - thats all the childcare I can afford. When I have a holiday I spend it with DD - your DD is only 10mo, she is tiny! I have dropped my DD's nursery hours over the summer so we can play more outside, have fun picnics, see friends from antenatal who I don't usually get to see during term time

but its your baby and your life! I would really love to have free time to do my vegetable patch, redecorate every room in the house we have bought and sew, do tapestry, see friends for lunches and read

How else are you going to have a little break and lesson planning ect

Don't let everyone make you feel guilty.

You will still be seeing heaps of her.

There isn't one right way to do things or to be a Mum.

Being a Mum is bloody hard and totally relentless. Why shouldn't you have some time to yourself if you can?

And if you don't have the time to yourself you need, and therefore start to resent your DD, how is that a good thing?

Looking after yourself does have to be a high priority.

I'm all for the OP having time to herself. Yes, she needs a break. Yes, she needs to do other things. But she could do all that by using the childminder only 2 or 3 days a week.

I'm a teacher too.

The thing is, children need holidays too, no matter how happy they are in childcare.

Childcare is your baby's "work" and you are effectively giving her a full-time "working" day with zero holiday allowance.

No matter how much I loved my job, I wouldn't expect to have to do it every day with no holidays at all.

Why not put put her in childcare on Tues-Weds-Thurs and then have a nice long family weekend. Possibly with a childcare free week either end of the school holidays.

But the OP is keeping the baby home for the first 2 weeks

I'm a teacher and my DD is going to nursery 9-1 on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the holidays. I'd send her more but I can't afford to (it's extra as we have a term time only deal). I think three days would be perfect. In my case, I need a break and she needs consistency as she is normally there everyday. Do what feels right to you. A little part of me is worrying how I am going to keep my toddler entertained all summer. I know people will flame me for that!

Hi

Thanks everythingsnotrosie, your post made me feel a bit better!

What hours does your DD normally go to nursery?

My DD is at the childminder when I'm at work 9-5pm mon - fri.

My dd is with the cm 8-5 mon-fri during term time. In the holidays she usually goes once or twice a week from 9-3 ish. That way we get to do things together and also I get time for myself to do the things I can't do either when i'm at work or when I have a toddler running round. This summer I'm planning on having a huge clear out of baby equipment/toys/clothes and I will also take the time to go to the gym and have my hair done.

Can you explain why you only feel able to spend the whole day with your baby at the weekend during the hols? I can understand 2 - 3 days. (Gives you a break, enables you to get things done,) but 5 days a week seems excessive. Do you only feel able to look after your baby all day when your partner is there too or something?

Agree with others and would send her one or two days a week. I would feel so guilty doing it more than that I can't understand why you would not want to spend lots of quality time with your DD. I find that it's also nice not to have that morning rush of having to get children somewhere.

Do you think you have bonded normally with your baby OP?