Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to be a bit freaked out by 7 yold dds 'tantrum' today?

78 replies

bejeezus · 29/06/2012 20:17

Stayed behind for school event today. Didn't see much of dd1 who was tearing round with her friends, getting face painted etc

Due to come home about 545pm, dd asked if she could go to friends house, and I said no its too late in the day....so she started to whine and cry. I tried reasoning with her, then I was short and sharp with her...she went BALLISTIC...trying to block my way, screaming and thumping me all the way down the road! I just ignored her as best I could and kept walking. I had toddler dd2 on my shoulders and she was posing quite a danger; she pushed me hard enough to make me stumble more than once

I sent her to her room to calm down when we got in-follow lots of rage filled screaming and door slamming. Then she's had a bath and some tea and now she's right as rain

WTF? anyone else experienced this? It was ad if she was possessed! And what consequence?!

OP posts:

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 29/06/2012 20:24

Over tired.. too much excitement = probable cause. However 7 is old enough to know you don't hit and I would have a chat at bed time and calmly explain that her behaviour was NOT acceptable, and that as a result X sanction will happen, just as sanctions would happen if she hit people at school. Then a hug and kiss goodnight!

Think of it as early training for the teen years

kotinka · 29/06/2012 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

bejeezus · 29/06/2012 20:51

That's what frightens me medusa- the teen years!

I don't care how over excited and tired she is! She's 7, damn straight she's old enough to know not to thump me all the way home!

I might have changed my mind and given in about going to her friends house, had there been some good natured moaning. But as soon as she starts whining and crying, there is NO WAY I am changing my mind. Else, what does that reach her?

It's just so out of character-since she was about 3. Can't think of a suitable consequence

OP posts:

Joiningthegang · 29/06/2012 20:57

My dd does this from time to time - 3-4 times a year - cant think of consequence either - its like she completely loses it - next day she tends to be extra nice the next day. Weird isn't it! Now she is 10 we have 3 weeks of angel child and one very emotional One which usually has one tantrum in it!

Good luck xxx

Wallace · 29/06/2012 20:59

end-of-term-itis?

KateShmate · 29/06/2012 21:00

I don't know if it helps, but DSis was telling me the other day about DN and her friends and they seem to be going through this same tantrum-y thing?
They all reckon it could be hormonal changes or something?

Its also getting to the end of term - all the kids are tired and stroppy and in the need of a summer holiday!

Original poster

bejeezus · 29/06/2012 21:04

It's reassuring to hear others are doing it at the same age....

Really good point about them being knackered and needing the holiday too...reminded me that one of the teachers had commented last week about Yr2 girls getting fractipus in the summer term. She didn't offer an explanation, just relayed an observation, and she is an experienced teacher. So yes, maybe hormonal...

Thinking, maybe a consequence isn't necessary this time?

OP posts:

CaliforniaLeaving · 29/06/2012 21:07

I think some stern words alone with her about her inappropriate behavior and reaction to being told no is in order.
My Dd is 7 and has tried this one. I did talk her after she had a lie down and a good cry and was feeling better, that if she tried that again, that her chances of getting a yes out of me were greatly reduced. If she pulled it again, whatever fun stuff was planned would be cancelled. I will stick to my guns too. Older Ds tried it and was denied a planned day out just one time and never pulled it again.

Wallace · 29/06/2012 21:08

fractipus? is that a bad tempered octopus?

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/06/2012 21:09

Over tired, hot, thirsty and nearly the end of term. My 7 year old did the same tonight. A large glass of water, lots of sympathy and he was ok.

WorraLiberty · 29/06/2012 21:11

They only had a holiday a couple of weeks back.

I'll probably get flamed for this even though I'm not advocating smacking

But I see and hear of this more and more lately since parents stopped smacking.

There's no way in a million years I would have pushed or thumped one of my parents when I was a kid, no matter what sort of tantrum I was throwing because I would have got a good, hard smack on the arse in the middle of the street.

Sorry that's not helpful I know....I'm just musing

kotinka · 29/06/2012 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jackyourbody · 29/06/2012 21:13

Wallace! I haven't been able to stop laughing since. Excellent!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 29/06/2012 21:16

Worra I don't think anyone should ever hit a child but...

I regularly had a wooden spoon or worse, my dad's belt, across my bare bottom. I was a very well behaved and charming child and then look what happened

FrameyMcFrame · 29/06/2012 21:18

I remeber my DD going through this sort of thing. I honestly think they get harder to deal with the older they get, DD 11 now and takes up so much emotional energy. She went away for 3 days this week and I felt my blood pressure return to normal for the first time in a long time :)

hillyhilly · 29/06/2012 21:19

Mine recently had the mother of all screaming fits in the kitchen over.....which spoon to eat her yoghurt with (her little brother got to the drawer first and nicked the one she wanted.
I have spoken to her as we've had quite a lot of attitude and backchat lately too but I have reslised that she is quite anxious about going up to junior school (new school entirely) and since that penny dropped have cut her a little slack and tried a little harder to see things from her point of view.
Today, we've gone back to behaviour charts mainly due to her brother (a whole other story), and she is really motivated by it, I thought we'd outgrown them but definitely not.

hillyhilly · 29/06/2012 21:20

I forgot to say that I also think they are not doing as much in school and so she is not so worn out, she is staying up later, but its a different kind of tired I think?

girliefriend · 29/06/2012 21:23

My 6yo had a tantrum tonight first time in ages - really hoped she had finally grown out of them tbh!!! Think end of term tiredness is maybe partly to blame but it also seems like my dd has to test the boundaries at least once a year just to check if screaming and throwing herself about like a banshee will help her cause it didn't.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/06/2012 21:25

Bad behaviour I'm strict on but when they go into total 'meltdown' and I know this is a controversial term on here - but with DS its like he just loses total control and he just needs sympathy and kindness to come out of it.

MerylStrop · 29/06/2012 21:27

DS (nearly 8) has had a couple of these (like, one a year, his annual tantrum)

I think of them in the same way as toddler tantrums, it's a developmental necessity, a pressure valve. That's not to say it isn't stressful at the time, but I think that it's not something that should have "consequences" as such. It's kind of horrible for them to go through too. That's if it is a rarity, a one-off, a genuine tantrum.

If it's tactical and deliberate (and frequent) that is different.

MerylStrop · 29/06/2012 21:27

weirdly synchronous x posts there!

WilsonFrickett · 29/06/2012 21:31

Oh it's end of term-itis for sure. I think she's probably old enough for 'a talk' tomorrow with a consequence if she's not good as gold for the next 24 hours maybe? At that age they're mature enough to be horrified by their behaviour after the event, even if they're not able to control it at the time IYSWIM?

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/06/2012 21:31

Oooh yes Meryl - and I agree they're really shaken by them afterwards. Its always this time of year for us.

kotinka · 29/06/2012 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corygal · 29/06/2012 21:33

Wait until she has calmed down. Then explain that while you're sympathetic to the causes, hitting isn't ok. (The most important bit, incidentally - a tantrum without hurting people is entirely possible without any loss to the hysteric).

Say calmly that you don't want that to happen again, and cancel a treat if she looks even a bit mutinous. Get her to apologise to the toddler (who would have been frightened).

Flip

1 2 3 4