to be a bit freaked out by 7 yold dds 'tantrum' today?

[bejeezus]

Stayed behind for school event today. Didn't see much of dd1 who was tearing round with her friends, getting face painted etc

Due to come home about 545pm, dd asked if she could go to friends house, and I said no its too late in the day....so she started to whine and cry. I tried reasoning with her, then I was short and sharp with her...she went BALLISTIC...trying to block my way, screaming and thumping me all the way down the road! I just ignored her as best I could and kept walking. I had toddler dd2 on my shoulders and she was posing quite a danger; she pushed me hard enough to make me stumble more than once

I sent her to her room to calm down when we got in-follow lots of rage filled screaming and door slamming. Then she's had a bath and some tea and now she's right as rain

WTF? anyone else experienced this? It was ad if she was possessed! And what consequence?!

Octopuses aside, I think that you have to cut her some slack for over tiredness/hyperness/hormones etc.
Having said that, there is no way we would have taken a step further after the first thump. At that point, I would have stopped, leaned down to eye level and told her in no uncertain terms that hitting is NOT on. And then let her screech herself silly before moving on.

Why is it a developmental necessity at 7? At 3 - yes but no way at 7.

I would come down like a tonne of bricks especially on the hitting. No means no. No treats for a week and early bed for as long. And a good, truly meant, apology.

And I agree with Worral, no way would I ever have behaved like that, ever.

kotinka

The child was screaming and thumping her mother all down the road...she pushed her hard enough (with a toddler on her shoulders) to make her stumble more than once.

That's hardly sweating the small stuff!

YANBU! Did she damage anything in her room? I would be furious with the entire episode and would take away any treats planned for the weekend.

I personally think that taking hormones as an excuse leads to nasty teenage years.

Ahh sorry kotinka I get what you mean now.

I agree with Ann though re blaming hormones/end of term tiredness/the wind blowing in the wrong direction and all that sort of thing.

Take it into account mentally by all means but never let it stop you coming down on them like a ton of bricks.

Otherwise you could well be left with a 6ft 2 angry teenager doing exactly the same thing and what excuses reasons are you going to pull out of the bag then?

We have all had raging hormones and been tired as kids but I doubt many of us were still having screaming, hitting tantrums at 7.

They could be getting all sorts of things but they still have to be punished for thumping and pushing people

I think perhaps there are more parents of teenagers than ever before who wish they'd taken a more no nonsense approach with their kids.

Even the schools are nowhere near as strict as they were.

Too true.

Children tantrumming like that at an age of 7 or 8 need what i got when I did it - a good hiding.

Yes, let's teach our children not to hit by hitting them...

I had an early puberty and my hormones were well and truly raging at 6. I spent all day running around and out on my bike so was definitely tired at the end of the day and at no time did I ever thump one of my parents - not because of the threat of a smack but because I would have lost all my tv time/reading time/treats and would have been in bed by 6 for a month.

Yes, let's teach our children not to hit by hitting them...

See this is where I'm torn because I absolutely agree it makes no sense and I'm also happy to acknowledge things are done differently now.

But the reason I'm torn, is because a good sharp smack on the back of the legs really did used to stop that nonsense it its tracks most of the time...even though it makes no sense.

I don't know what the answer is, but I think children and teenagers behaviour has mostly deteriorated over the years.

I kept walking sassy because she wanted me to stop. I wanted us all to go home, therefore I kept walking

Bear in mind that she did this, starting in the school playground with all het friends around, so I am certain it was beyond her control at the time...she would not be happy about embarrassing herself like that.

I did consider smacking het worra...almost like you smack a hysterical person though, to try and snap her out of it...but I couldn't very well smack het gave, and I decided a bin smack would have inflamed het. Plus, I had dd2 on my shoulders.

She is very sorry now. And can't offer any explanation, other than she vomited twice in school today. So she might be poorly, but unless she had rabies, not really sure that explains it.

I really can see the problem with 'blaming' hormones. BUT I am a bot of a slave to mine (haves been on ADs for PMT symptoms) so really do have sympathy if it I'd that. Will look at links when not on my phone, thanks for them

Maybe it is because of the octopuses?

WorraLiberty I admit that I flick a dish towel at my DC every now and again but only for low level stuff IYSWIM? The thought of deliberately raising a hand to them makes me shudder. My dad smacked us and we certainly tied the line though.

worra I don't think its the absence of smacking that had lead to decline in behaviour though.....I think it OS just a generally 'pandering to' approach

My dd used to go into meltdowns at this age. I did not smack her or lose my temper, but I did restrain her- she never got to thump more than once during any one meltdown. No punishments afterwards as she used to be so completely out of it that she hardly seemed responsible for her actions. She has grown into a very well behaved and respectful teenager.

My db was the same (probably trauma in his case). A sharp smack would certainly not have stopped him in his tracks: he once kicked his way through a wooden door with his bare feet without even realising. So far more serious meltdowns than the OPs dd. But again, grew up into a sensible and well behaved lad who never gave anyone any trouble.

My ds has (and still does have) had the most spectacular meltdowns but he is severely autistic.

I would expect a NT kid of 7 to be able to exert some self control and have a bit of respect.

Like Worral said, it is getting worse, especially in schools. I see kids who have been really awful during lunch who then get rewarded with a nice art project after. Why? If it was up to me, they'd be writing out their times tables for the rest of the afternoon.