OMG I know IANBU - but the CHEEK of it!!

[ModreB]

DS3 (12 yo) has a best friend, from Y1, whose DM has been through a bit of a traumatic divorce. The childs mum is now in another relationship with someone who has a bit of money. The mum and I are not friends apart from chatting in the playground etc.

We (as in me, DH, DS's and everyone else) have been as supportive as we can be. We have had DS3's friend overnight several times at short notice because the friends mum has a late "function" to go to with the newDP, he (the child) is round our house most of the days at the weekend as his mum and her newDP have "something to do" - her words, not mine.

He is a lovely kid, I don't object to this as long as it fits in with what I have planned. We have been on days out, shopping, etc etc, he feels like one of the family. But he is not my child, and I am not responsible for him.

This weekend is mine and DH's wedding anniversary and DH's birthday. We have planned to go out, just us 2 on Saturday night for our celebration. DS3 is staying over at a relative's, who is not in a position (and would not want to) look after 2 children (and I wouldn't ask her anyway).

DS3's friend, and his DM, have been told that this weekend is off limits as we are not available.

The friends mother has just rung me and asked if me and DH can change our plans to next weekend, as her and the newDP have tickets to Wimbleden on Sunday, so can DS3's friend stay over with us on Saturday, and stay all day Sunday as they want to stay over the night before until they get home!!!

The friends father is not an option as he has a traumatic brain injury and cannot look after any children at all.

I said "No, we have plans, we did tell you" She said "Oh no, I will miss the tennis"

And she is not a kid, we are both in our 40's.

IANBU am I.

Yes, she will miss the tennis

And she seems to think you have doormat written all over your backside.

Fuck me of course YNBU. I cant get over the cheek of people I really cant.

Did it not occur to her to buy her son a ticket too?

Unbelievable - I am lost for words! Time to start saying no more often me thinks so that she gradually becomes less reliant on you!

Unbelievable - I am lost for words! Time to start saying no more often me thinks so that she gradually becomes less reliant on you!

YANBU, I feel a little sorry for her boy actually, I know 13 year olds don't generally want to hang around with their mothers, but the poor lad sounds like he's been completely left out.

She might have had a bad divorce, but he went through it too, AND his dads Ill?

She wants to start having a look at her priorities IMO, put the tickets on eBay, get a load of food in and watch the tennis on tv with her son.

oh, I think you need to become unavailable for babysitting duties.

She is taking the piss. It is also possible she has now started to feel you have an obligation to help her out.

We do care a lot about her DS. He is a good kid, and when he is here is no trouble at all. He is having a hard time, and is worth putting the effort into. But, I am not his parent

Y are totally nbu. Your ds's friend's mum should meet terrible cunt mum from this fred.

Poor kid. Rotten mum. YADNBU.

Cheeky caaaahhh

ModreB, I wasn't for a second suggesting you weren't supporting the poor lad, on the contrary it's obvious you've been fabulous, I'm just gob smacked that you reminding her you have your own family hasn't shamed her into thinking about her own instead of dirty weekends with her boyfriend and sodding tennis.

She's caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, but at her age and with a child she needs to reign it in a bit! She should take her son too.

Shocking!

Sounds like she's having a great new child-free relationship. Shame she has a child really. If he relationship is going to work all 3 of them need to be in it and the sooner she realises this the better.

Some people are so cheeky, how very dare you have an anniversary and a birthday the same weekend she has wimbledon tickets?

Seriously, YANBU and really need to stick to your own plans this weekend. She will se the word 'MUG' printed on your forehead forever more otherwise.

No Best, I never thought that. But I work in social care, I grew up in a similar position to her DS, and I know what a difference some people make. I just can't believe her sometimes, it's as if the world owes her a life IYSWIM.

Her DS has told me that he likes coming to our house as it's like being part of a normal family. It makes me that he is not part of that.

What is it with people? First Milk and now you meeting the cheeky cow from hell! It must be the weather, surely this isn't normal behaviour?!

There is no play on Sunday this weekend so she may wish to recheck her tickets.

Just a thought:- There isn't usually any tennis on Wimbledon's middle Sunday....

What a horrible position to be put in OP. I sympathise

That's awful, poor kid

Did his mum and dad split up because if the brain injury?

Im asking because she comes across v selfish and it may have been a pattern of poor behaviour that may get worse and neglectful.

Wow Terriblecuntmum is getting some competition from Cuntytennismum.
OP you sound lovely, her son is lucky to have you and your family.

Love 'cuntytennismum', and may I add that she is also a piss turbot.

The crazy freaking entitled attitudes of these people is astounding. You do someone a few favours and they suddenly think you're at their beck and call.

Yanbu

But she needs to check her tickets as there is no play schedule on the middle Sunday at Wimbledon, unless exceptional circumstances. So either she has mis-read her tickets, she bought some duds or she is trying it on with you for another round of free childcare, while she and DP enjoy child free time to do as they please.