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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is husband re mortgages?

75 replies

MrsHelsBels74 · 28/06/2012 19:48

We're in the very enviable position of not having a mortgage on our property BUT we do have substantial credit card, loans etc. We have also got plans to significantly improve the house we've just moved into, such as loft conversion, converting the front garden into parking as our road is a nightmare. Husband talks about doing all this in the near future.

We don't have any savings so the only way we can afford to do this is if we consolidate our debt & borrow more against our house. Overall we'd be borrowing a very small percentage of the equity.

Anyway, my husband feels that mortgages are the work of the devil & that the minute you miss a payment your house will be repossessed. I think this stems from his parents not having a mortgage & his father is very anti-mortgage. The house isn't 100% in our names & I wonder if his father's reluctance to let us have the house in our names is a way to prevent us borrowing against the house.

I, on the other hand, have had mortgages & don't see a problem with them.

The only way we can afford the refurbishments is to hope for an inheritance from our parents & frankly that seems a little ghoulish...I don't want any of them to die in the near future.

So, apologies for the length, but who is BU or is it both of us?

OP posts:

ASillyPhaseIAmGoingThrough · 28/06/2012 19:51

Who owns your house, who is on the deeds?

Why do renovations at your expence only?

I thought mortgages have a lower Apr?

redskyatnight · 28/06/2012 19:56

Is it really to do with a mortgage or not wanting you to take on more debt. Not wanting you to take on more debt is a reasonable concern. What would mortgage repayments be? Could you cope if interest rates went up? Are your jobs 100% safe/what would you do in case of redundancy?

squeakytoy · 28/06/2012 19:58

"I wonder if his father's reluctance to let us have the house in our names is a way to prevent us borrowing against the house"

Or is it because he bought it for you?

TheCraicDealer · 28/06/2012 19:58

I think if you calculated how much you're paying per year on the CC's compared to mortgage repayments he'd change his mind. Credit cards are by far the most expensive type of credit.

Shakey1500 · 28/06/2012 20:02

When you say your husband talks about doing this in the near future, how does HE anticipate paying for renovations etc if he's so anti mortgage?

Original poster

MrsHelsBels74 · 28/06/2012 20:02

Asillyphase...it's very complicated. Basically the house we live in belongs (house A) to my husband & his brother. There's another house (house B) that is owned 50% by FIL, and 25% owned by husband & his brother. The plan is for FIL to gift his 50% of house B equally to husband & his brother, then for husband & brother to effectively 'swap equities' so husband owns 100% of A & his brother owns 100% of B (still with me?).

I'm not keen on this situation as it's all only verbally agreed & I can't help but wonder what would happen if his dad died/got dementia etc (god forbid) but where would we all stand then? But every time I bring it up about actually getting these legalities finalised I get accused of not trusting his family. Maybe it's because I've been homeless & divorced but I like to have details of my home set in stone.

OP posts:

fireice · 28/06/2012 20:03

It sounds like you are in a complicated financial situation. Do you intend to buy your fil out of the property in due course?

Dprince · 28/06/2012 20:04

I think yabu. I think your dh is perfectly reasonable to be reluctant to take a mortgage on a property that you don't own outright. Especially when his knows his dad would agree and owns a portion of the house
So who owns the house. Why are you paying for all the work?

hattifattner · 28/06/2012 20:06

it would be cheaper to take out a mortgage, pay off your debts, do the work and just pay a fixed amount every month.

Average CC - what....15% interest?
Loans: 7-8%?
Mortgage - about 5%

Mortgage is a different kind of debt, one we dont even count TBH -
If you aim to pay it off after 5-10 years, then your outgoings might be considerably less. You might even pay it off early.

Dprince · 28/06/2012 20:06

Well I think both you and dh are by. A verbal financial agreement? Its not a good idea. When is he going to gift this? When he dies? So until then he has alot of control over your lives?

hattifattner · 28/06/2012 20:08

cross post sorry.
I'd insist on a legal document being drawn up. What would happen if you split up?

Original poster

MrsHelsBels74 · 28/06/2012 20:08

That's the thing, all this work we want done is only in theory as we can't afford it & without borrowing against the house we'll never afford it. I'm happy enough to accept these renovations won't go ahead but it's husband who keeps going on about them as if it's already decided they are going ahead without commenting on how it's going to be paid for.

OP posts:

Shakey1500 · 28/06/2012 20:09

To be honest, it's not really any of your business, ref the finances of your DH, his brother and your FIL. Your FIL may well be gifting the properties but entrusting his sons to manage his affairs if/when he needs care home fees. Sensible. So i think it's only natural that he's concerned about what his essential his properties being remortgaged.

And sorry, but I'm also a bit appalled that you mention doing the repairs through an inheritance :(

Minesaguinness · 28/06/2012 20:10

Well, it sounds like you can't borrow against your house without the brother agreeing, as his name is on the deeds? I'd also be wary of undertaking expensive renovations on a house you don't fully own.

And this may not be a popular view but if you have substantial loans & credit card debts, I'd concentrate on reducing those rather than spending money you don't have on luxuries like loft conversions.

elizaregina · 28/06/2012 20:12

you are NBU you have every single right to want to make sure your house is safe and it is all written in stone. its not about trust - its about simple nature...

horrid things happen to people when people die...you dont know what will come out of the wood work.

id forget about mortgage at moment and concentrate on getting the legalities sorted out.

your in this family now - you have worries, you cant be patted on the head and told all is OK.....your Dh should understand your past history and worries and as your husband he should be making sure you feel safe.

BackforGood · 28/06/2012 20:14

Purely financially, your dh IBU, because a mortgage is about the cheapest form of debt. Even without doing work, you'd be better putting your debts onto a mortgage and no longer having to pay the higher interest rates.
However that is a very odd situation regarding the ownership of the houses. You would need to think very, very, very carefully about spending money on a house you don't own. tbh, no mortgage company is surely going to lend on such an odd situation with no leagl paperwork to protect anybody, surely ?

Original poster

MrsHelsBels74 · 28/06/2012 20:14

I did say that I didn't want to get an inheritance as its ghoulish but if husband is adamant that these renovations are going ahead & we can't afford to do it that's the only way I can see that we can afford it.

His parents are always bragging that they have more money than everybody else on their street so it's not unreasonable to assume we will get something but this is NOT something I want for a very, very long time.

OP posts:

elizaregina · 28/06/2012 20:14

Shakey1500

of course its her business! she will be living in the house- putting her time nad energy into making it better - increasing its value....

she doesnt mention care home fees, she needs to know whats in place should this happens and she doesnt say she wants to wait for inheritance to do house up...she said thats the only source of future income she can see as a way to do it - maybe her Dh is thinking of inheritance SHE wants to mortgage the house.

Its her future with her DH, how on earth can it not involve her?

Original poster

MrsHelsBels74 · 28/06/2012 20:16

Plus I know that until the house is legally ours we couldn't borrow against it anyway, which is why I sometimes wonder if his father is dragging his heels over sorting the legalities to avoid this situation.

OP posts:

ASillyPhaseIAmGoingThrough · 28/06/2012 20:19

I wouldn't do anything in that house but decorative.

Pay off your debts and save for your own home as you have no rent or mortgage.

elizaregina · 28/06/2012 20:20

Probably op - do you know him well, does he like you? do you have DC with the DH? Can DH stand on his own two feet or is he still in control of dad? why all this sharing anyway? why not one bro have one and the other have one...it sounds a bit controlling to me...

OhTinky · 28/06/2012 20:20

What happens with the two houses if they are valued at different amounts? Would one brother have to pay a sum to the other brother to make it fair?

Is there any discussion regarding you getting your name on the deeds at any point?

Sounds like quite a legal minefield, you need to be careful that any projected inheritance is not swallowed up by legal fees

Shakey1500 · 28/06/2012 20:23

No, I believe that her FILS properties and finances are his own. The OP has already said they are in the enviable position of being mortgage free. Made possible by her FIL's gesture. In my opinion, unless the repairs are urgent i.e new roof, then anything else will need to be saved for, or at least NOT borrowed against a property that is partly owned by someone not living there. He also doesn't want the property mortgaged either.

I agree that, for the future, a different arrangement needs sorting, for security. For example, buying the FIL out.

ByTheWay1 · 28/06/2012 20:24

maybe FIL has house kept in his name so you have NO legal claim at all should you split up (you mention a previous divorce - that is a BIG no-no to some generations of some families) - perhaps it is not that you do not trust his family but that his family do not trust you

Blu · 28/06/2012 20:25

If you do not currently have the burden of a mortgage to pay, I would concentrate on paying off your debts and loans.

Meanwhile get the house ownerships sorted out.

Then, when all that is done, work out the best way to find the money for home improvements. Which will probably be taking out a mortgage to pay for the work, or a bank loan for the purpose.

If you have big debts when you don't even have a mortgage to pay, you shouldn't be increasing the debt, by whatever means! IMO.

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