Or is husband re mortgages?

[MrsHelsBels74]

We're in the very enviable position of not having a mortgage on our property BUT we do have substantial credit card, loans etc. We have also got plans to significantly improve the house we've just moved into, such as loft conversion, converting the front garden into parking as our road is a nightmare. Husband talks about doing all this in the near future.

We don't have any savings so the only way we can afford to do this is if we consolidate our debt & borrow more against our house. Overall we'd be borrowing a very small percentage of the equity.

Anyway, my husband feels that mortgages are the work of the devil & that the minute you miss a payment your house will be repossessed. I think this stems from his parents not having a mortgage & his father is very anti-mortgage. The house isn't 100% in our names & I wonder if his father's reluctance to let us have the house in our names is a way to prevent us borrowing against the house.

I, on the other hand, have had mortgages & don't see a problem with them.

The only way we can afford the refurbishments is to hope for an inheritance from our parents & frankly that seems a little ghoulish...I don't want any of them to die in the near future.

So, apologies for the length, but who is BU or is it both of us?

Why on earth has your FIL arranged the house ownership like this? Why couldn't he just own 25% of each house and let each son own one lot of 75%? It could be agreed that on death the houses are valued and any difference evened out? Or better still why hasn't FIL just given one house to each son. It's very odd.

With no mortgage, you could easily pay off your credit cards and then save for extension/loft conversion etc. It could take a few years but is perfectly doable if you put x amount away each month. Most people have a mortgage to pay and you don't - so that must free up a huge amount surely?

If i were you i would start a secret savings account or buy my own property in my own name. if your name is not on any of the houses then if you were to be divorced or your husband died, you would be homeless again. and you would have no claim on the house you live in.
looks like they are protecting their assets. from you

The legal side is a total nightmare. They keep saying that they are waiting for the houses to be of equal value but I fail to see how a 2 bedroom bungalow in need of decoration & renovation will equal a 3 bedroom house that's already had a new kitchen & bathroom in

Also his parents say they can't afford the legal feed which I find hard to believe given the previous 'we've more money than everyone else in the street' comment.

I've thought it's because they don't trust me but no idea why other than the fact that they're paranoid about everyone. We have one son together & another due in September so I think hopefully the courts will take a dim view if we did split up & they did try to throw me out with nothing.

I'm not so fussed about renovations as I said its husband who keeps going on about it but I would like to try & reduce our monthly outgoings.

"To be honest, it's not really any of your business, ref the finances of your DH, his brother and your FIL"

Really shakey? You don't think the OP's husband's finances are any of her business?

OP I'm assuming the two properties were inherited, hence the percentage shares that your husband, BIL and FIL own? Personally I would say from a financial point of few it is much better than your debts are consolidated into a mortgage rather than paying incredibly high interest to credit card companies.

If the properties were inherited, is there any way your DH could push for your father to be bought out of any shares he has in the two properties by him and his DB, then they could split the properties between themselves as they intended. Might be the kick up the arse your FIL needs...

At the moment we have very little disposable income (despite no mortgage). I only work part time & half of my income goes on nursery fees for our son so I can only ever afford the minimum payment on my credit cards.

Can you pay for the legal fees then - and sort all that out first, and tell DH to totally and utterly forget renovations until debts and legalities are sorted out. I dont know if you have experience of divorce courts with children, its not that black and white, ultimalty a court may make them house you or something but that could be years in the making, appeals and all that....then his right to life as well....with his families assests...

You're in a very fortunate position to not have a mortgage. However, it sounds like you need to give your finances a careful overhaul. With no mortgage to pay, yet large credit card debt, you need to look carefully at your outgoings. Sort out the credit card debt and you should look to put aside what you'd pay on a mortgage per month. That way you should be able to start saving for renovations.

God, why are you having children in this situation?! I'd run a mile (then look back and start running again).Your DH sounds totally unrealistic if he wants renovations but won't talk about how to pay for them and his parents sound pretty bad news in various ways.

It does sound as though they don't trust you, I'm afraid. Do you have a savings account in your own name? Whose is the debt? Are you working?

If you can only afford the minimum repayment on your credit cards, then you're in no position to be borrowing money, whether by way of mortgage or otherwise. So the question is pretty irrelevant I would say.

With dcs to consider, I suggest that you both take a long hard look at your financial arrangements, and all the 'what if' plans.

We are in a similar situation to you, in that my father owns our house and we are unable to borrow on it for an extension. The house will be signed over to us for my 30th birthday but as it stands we are not on the deeds so that my home is safe if DH leaves me whilst the children are too young for me to work.
I therefore think you should as I am just be grateful you have a home and keep your plans for when you are in a better position.

YANBU - you should always pay off credit card debts before cheaper debt (any financial adviser would recommend a mortgage rather than more expensive loans).

And it most definitely is your business - it is your home that you live in with your dh! I am not a lawyer but marriage makes it your business. Sounds a nightmare situation - I would get things streamlined asap and get your name on the mortgage.

No, I came across wrongly, implying that the Op's husbands finances were none of her business.

What I meant was, that the ins and outs of her FIL splitting the properties between her DH and his brother was none of her business (as in, his reasoning AND that because the OP is nowhere to be seen legally, on the properties the it isn't her "business")

I did say though, that the OP needs to get legalities sorted for the future

i know what I meant

Blueoctopus

Wow so after your 30th your father is happy to let your dh have half hte house then?

Its a bit different though her being grateful when she doesnt have a share in it and its not her family providing this...I am sure she is very grateful but her Dh seems to have head in the clouds...

You are both BU. You need to sit down as a couple and look at your current finances and work out a way of paying of your debts.

You probably wouldn't get a mortgage anyway on a house you only on a house your dh owns 25%. We were going to get a mortgage in dh name only (but joint deeds) but IFA said banks not happy to do that now - both mortgage & deeds have to be in joint names if married & want a good deal. Your debts would also bring the amount you could borrow down & they would look at your monthly outgoings (you said you didn't have much spare cash each month.)

So, sorry to be harsh, but you are both living in the clouds and need to sort out your finances.

I won't even start on investing money & time improving a house you don't own, do you have any tenancy rights if a family feud develops etc.

I would be very cautious about taking out loans or more debt in your or your H's names to improve the house and increase its value when you have little or no ownership of the property.

Elizaregina

I wouldn't say he would be happy but his reasoning is by that time both my children will be in school and I can work as a teacher again. In his eyes I will not need his financial protection.

I understand that OPs situation is not identical but it really does seem currently there is very little she can do.

blue

what i mean is - he is signing over house to both of you equally?

You don't have the savings and he knows it. So he's all talk. Does he have a bit of the Hyacinth Bucket in him, like his parents? Is that what it's about? Being seen to be Better?

I assume that the share in the house was given to you, not bought by you? So you have even less to argue because you can't even say look, we put £X in. (sorry if that assumption is incorrect)

So, what I would do, is get him to shut up about it. Somehow

You as a couple don't have the money. He is not willing to do the one thing that could get you the money right now (rather than saving for however long) so he cannot at the same time, bleat on about the improvements.

When he starts on about it - tell him to go ahead. Say ok, that sounds like a really good idea. Shall we book the work then? I'll phone in the morning, shall I? Where the cheque book.

Or ask him when he started crapping money

Or sit down at the table and plan it all out with him, go into detail, get the prices. Force him to get his head out of the clouds and face reality.

It may seem like it's a good thing that you've been given this house (or part of it) but from outside, it seems like a load of hassle.

Yes Eliza, he is signing it us equally seeing as we have been married a fair few years now it would be almost unthinkable to do it any other way.
DH would resent the house being mine, he is only comfortable with living here because he knows it will soon be ours.

Blue

wow thats amazing of your dad - not many parents would do that nowadays but i think its the only way....otherwise one half is like a lodger...

its really nice to hear of such a generous move in todays times...

Ok so the mortgage is a bad idea, for renovations at least but I'm not BU to want the legalities sorted? I think what annoys me is that his father is calling all the shots regarding us getting 100% ownership of this house when actually he doesn't own any of it (house inherited directly from owner to my husband & his brother).
I did suggest getting a loan to buy his brother out but this was dismissed.

It sounds totally crazy & insensitive I know, but sometimes I wish this house didn't exist & we just had to buy a house with a mortgage like most people do.

What I probably should have mentioned is that we've been living in house B whilst house A has been made habitable & have been liable for the bills for both properties (don't ask, this arrangement was in place before I arrived) so budgeting had been difficult. Now that we are fully ensconced in house B hopefully we will be in a situation to get our finances in order.

It's just all so complicated & really doesn't need to be in my opinion.

tell Dh to forget about reonovations and buy brother out.

what right has Dh to dimisss idea? Its about your future security.

he really needs to get head out of arse and wake up.

you cant live your life based on a fragile human relationship between two brothers.

its more than reasonable for you to want to buy brother out - and be your own independant unit looking to the future.

its sounds very controlling to me, like they dont trust you and perhaps not even each other hence the interlinking.

why is FIl interefering in sons lives like this - doesnt he understand you have to be a married unit of your own - doing your own thing ?

Put your foot down op big time...these things are easy to let slide and then come back and bite you on the rear....

does BIl have a wife/children...is she happy wuth the set up?

First of all, before you start talking about mortgages, try to lower your substantial credit card debt and other loans. Until these debts have been decreased, YABU to discuss mortgages.

Why don't you guys talk to BIL about buying him out in the next year or two, giving you time to fix your outstanding debts? Or in lieu of a buying out BIL, your husband sign over his portion of the other house to brother?