to say loudly "If you just let me get off, it will be easier for you to get on!"

[Wheezo]

What is it with people who try and get on a packed tube/train BEFORE the people getting off at that station have actually managed to leave the train? What is the point? Is there anyone out there who would admit to doing this? Would love to understand why - defies logic to me because surely once everyone is off there is more space for others to get on rather than getting on and doing a strange dance shoulder jousting the departing passengers

Oh and other rules are if people on the train already have to get off to let others off the train because it's too packed for them to get off don't push past those people to get on the train FFS - why should they be punished for their politeness.

Am dreading the Olympics.

Yes.

It is always men who try to poke out your eyes with their rolled umbrella (DH does this).

It always small women who jab you with the spokes on their open umbrellas clamped so tightly over their heads they can't see (not me but my mum)

ScrambledSmegs I remember her, she was still on the Victoria Line in 2005 when I was last commuting. Really sad for her but OMG the stench

where do you want to go sparkling?

Flights to Ibiza are particularly hellish. I don't mind families and young people excited about their first grown up holiday.

It's nobs aged between 23 and 50 who start the crazy partying on the plane.

You can tell them at the airport because the women are wearing cowboy hats and clothing inappropriate for Gatwick at 15 degrees. The men are wearing straw trilbies, combats, bracelets and unkempt and sparse facial hair.

Unfortunately that's nearly everyone.

They always switch their mobiles on the instant the wheels go down in a race to be first at Pacha. No one has called you. You are already with the only people who can bear to be with you - and me.

Anywhere you like limited, but unfortunately I think my passport has expired. No plane 'fun' for me.

Why do people get on the plane half dressed in the tropical country they have holidayed in? It's usually cold and pissing it down in the UK.

I'm not liking the sound of travel in London :-s I've only been 3 tunes an each time I had a cab waiting to whisk me off to my destination (felt like a celeb!)

Think I shall carry on avoiding the scary capital!

This thread is hilarious.

To the airport dislikes, may I add:

• people who barge you out of the way at the luggage carousel, despite the fact that you are 5 months pregnant and carrying a 2-year old.

• people who, having barged you out of the way, then discover that it's the wrong carousel and 3 is not actually 4. Yes, you muppets, it goes 1, 2, 3, 4.

Anyone who flew back from Pisa on Wednesday will know who I mean :o

sparkling the last time I was at an airport was in January. A woman and her teenage son looked like they'd just come back from the Caribbean. She was dressed for the cold and he looked like she'd dragged him off the beach.

She was walking 10 paces in front of him and doing her best to pretend they weren't together.

paper It's okay, really. The reason I remember the woman shouting 'moron' at me was that naked aggression is still relatively rare on the tube because most people are too repressed to even look each other in the eye.

Passive aggression works for us.

1st time on the tube 1991, trying to get to the door to get orf ! tried the "excuse me , excuse me please >>as i was to learn , no one can hear on the tube , resorted to " WILL YOU PLEASE GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY , I"M TRYING TO GET OFF"! ok , it worked , but hells bells!

oh hackmum the umbrella one is one of my pet hates too. I have grabbed the pointy part before and said 'that's really dangerous' when 'city gent' type was walking up the stairs in front of me and swinging the brolly backwards and forwards. I was having to dodge the point and people behind me were pushing me closer to it.

I now get the overland train to work to a stop which is full of people desperate to pour on. When the doors open they all stand looking at me like the little green aliens in toy story. I say excuse me and they just look confused. Like their brains don't compute 'i want to get on, but there is someone in the way, she can't get off if i don't move, i can't get on if she doesn't get off, but if i move i wont be close to the door'

I am 32 wks pg and i just push thru shouting 'for god sake'

Speaking of packed tubes, I had a friend who got on a particularly packed Victoria line one day, only to feel a small tug at the bottom of her coat. She looked down and a small man midget was holding on for dear life as he couldn't reach any other sort of rail. Apparently he looked up at her pleading with his eyes for her not to make a scene.

A few weeks later the same thing happened again! He'd obviously remembered her, and her good nature!

Tantrums, I also get a southbound train to Kings Cross and share a lot of your views, but I come in a bit later so I don't think I've witnessed you shouting at people, shame!

If I can't get a seat I stay near the door because I'm short so can't reach handholds, and because generally if I can't get a seat it's because the train's very very crowded and there often aren't many good places to stand further down, I do try to be as unobstructive as possible. Also, my journey is only 3 stops. And it's all very well the station staff trying to tell people to move down the train, but my entrance and exit are in the same place, so if I get on anywhere else I'm going to have a struggle to get back to the right point on the platform on the way out. Unfortunately there are a lot of stations on the Victoria line which have the entrance/exit at that same point.

Kings Cross is enough to turn anyone into a psycho lunatic. I also get really annoyed with people who think it's really clever to try and walk in a part of the station where everyone else is going in the opposite direction, rather than following people going the same way. And people who insist on coming down the stairs towards the gates where I'm trying to get out - you can't get to the escalators that way anyway, the entry gates are half way across, so why barge past me on my way out.

There are places where people need to be prepared to move out of someone's way, due to the awful layout and crowding of the station. I'm more likely to move out of your way in those circumstances if you show the slightest recognition that I'm there rather than pretending I'm invisible.