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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask DH to swap beds with DD?

58 replies

oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 10:26

DD has been coming up with little red itchy bumps at night, my first thought was (eek!) fleas or bedbugs, as we have cats and her bed was a secondhand gift from a (very clean!) friend. But we sprayed the entire house with an insecticide, all the cats are frontlined, and the 'bites' aren't every night, she gets half a dozen or so about once every three or four nights.

Went to the doctor yesterday, he said they don't appear to be bites but also don't look like any skin condition he's aware of. He suggested that she sleep in our spare room for about a week, different bedding and my pyjamas. That will pin it down to whether it's bites or not.

After we got home, DD and I were chatting (she's 14), and it suddenly occurred to me that a quicker way of finding out for sure, is for her to sleep with me and for DH to sleep in her bed. He (like DD) is slightly allergic to bites, so if he's bitten overnight and DD isn't then we'll know for certain there's something there; if DD still comes up in the bumps and DH doesn't, then we know it's something else.

DH was out last night, got home at 9.45pm and we sort of sprung it on him. DD was already in our bed but not asleep yet. DH didn't seem too bothered but went off to bed just after 10 so I didn't get a chance to chat properly to him. He didn't look too impressed though.

My mum thinks IABU to ask him to sleep in a room where he's going to potentially get bitten as "he needs his sleep, he goes to work". My friend said her DH would hit the roof if she asked him to do this.

It just seems the quickest and easiest way to find out for sure if there actually is something biting DD, and if DH is bitten even once we will know and can do something about it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 10:27

Crap that was really long, sorry! Blush

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 27/06/2012 10:28

Erm....if this is the best way, why didn't you sleep in the flea pit, not make your DH do it?

oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 10:36

Because apparently little biting things just don't like to bite me. Hmm

No idea why, but I've been bitten about three times in my life. I did mention that to the doctor and he said some people's body chemistry seems to put off biting insects, which I've never heard of. DD and DH both seem to attract every biting thing within a mile.

Please don't say fleapit, it makes me itch. Grin

OP posts:
molly3478 · 27/06/2012 10:40

I would just sleep on the sofa

Mama1980 · 27/06/2012 10:41

I'm like that maybe been bitten 5 times my whole life. Anyway my dp would not have a issue with doing this,(I did just ask him by the way he thinks I spend way too much time on random mumsnet questions Blush) sooner to be sorted etc by think it was kinda mean to just spring it on him.

minibmw2010 · 27/06/2012 10:42

It seems mean to let him sleep in there without being fully honest about why ... But I know what you mean about not getting bitten. My DH is very prone to being bitten bit I never am.

I heard once that if your blood is sweet they bite you and sour they don't Smile

oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 10:47

I did tell him why, he was just knackered and went off to bed without really saying anything. Now I'm feeling a bit guilty as everyone I've spoken to has given me the Shock face and said they wouldn't have done it. I can't speak to DH until he gets home tonight.

Grin at sour blood, thanks a bunch mini!

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/06/2012 10:51

Oh yes OP you can't let the poor little man get bitten he has to work all day the next day. Hmm Carry on letting your DD get bitten or better yet get your sourblooded arse into the bed yourself. Grin

NinaHeart · 27/06/2012 10:51

I feel very sorry for your DH being used as an "experiment"! As someone who is so sensitive to insect bites I swell up like a balloon and feel fluey/ill, I'd be horrified if anyone suggested I was used as flea-bait. Hope your DH doesn't feel the same!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/06/2012 10:52

Sorry mised some words out of my sarcastic response... *carry on letting your DD get bitten and having no idea how or why...

ChitChatFlyingby · 27/06/2012 10:55

YANBU! I'm the one who gets bitten in this house, and if my DS was reacting to something, possibly being bitten and I thought it would be the fastest way to find out then 'I' would sleep in his bed.

ZonkedOut · 27/06/2012 10:56

It seems like quite a good way to narrow down the problem, as long as your DH doesn't mind, try not to worry what anyone else thinks!

StuntGirl · 27/06/2012 10:57

Yes OP, YABU.

Perhaps if you'd have discussed this option with your partner I'd have more sympathy for you. But as it is you just decided for him and informed him later. Just because he's more susceptible to bites doesn't means he wants to be bitten! Christ.

minibmw2010 · 27/06/2012 10:59

Oops, that makes me 'sour' too Smile

ChitChatFlyingby · 27/06/2012 11:00

Just thinking about it, DS2 had this happen to him last year. I was going a bit crazy trying to work out what it was. Occasionally one of the 'bites' would turn into a chicken pox like bump. Both DSs slept in the same room so I knew it wasn't something in the room, and the mattress wasn't new, hadn't changed detergents or anything like that. GP checked, and said it could be CP but if it was it would probably be too mild for the body to form an immunity. However there are LOADS of other viruses out there that leave occasional small bumps and it could be one of them. None of them have bad enough side effects for anyone to be interested in testing to find out what they could be.

If it's not itchy, it's not likely to be a proper bite.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 27/06/2012 11:09

I honestly don't think my DH would have had a problem with this, as long as the other bed was comfy enough. If OPs DH had a problem with it he could have said, and the OP could have slept in the fleapit other bed, and he could have slept in his own bed, or on the sofa. Might be that he's a bit put out at having no say in it though. I think I'd probably be making a bit of a fuss of him tonight. Grin

oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 11:20

What is CP ChitChat?

They are itchy BTW.

OP posts:
oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 11:56

Duh. Never mind. I just re-read your post. Blush

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 27/06/2012 12:16

"Oh yes OP you can't let the poor little man get bitten he has to work all day the next day. Carry on letting your DD get bitten or better yet get your sourblooded arse into the bed yourself"

It's nothing to do with the fact he's a man. I don't think anyone should be sleeping in a flea pit. OP mentioned a spare room in her first post - put the DD in that and find out if the bites stop. It's pretty uneccesary to sacrifice anyone to the flea pit really, but if OP needs to know right now right this second if there are fleas, she should go roll around in there herself.

oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 12:40

Clytaemnestra Thanks for pointing out - twice - that it's a flea pit. Hmm There may or may not be something in there biting DD. We don't actually know, even the doctor doesn't think they look like bites. And if I roll around in there, what exactly will that prove - if I don't get bitten it doesn't mean they're not there, just that they aren't biting me, which if you read my earlier post, you'll see is a distinct possibility.

Go have a Wine, there's a dear.

OP posts:
Smellslikecatspee · 27/06/2012 12:43

I have a think about fleas again, I know that a lot of vets say that the fleas can't become immune, but haveing spent £100s on cream and injections for my poor old cat and her horrible skin sores (shes very allergic to flea bites) and being assured that if I had used Frontline correctly she couldn't have fleas.

In this time we also flea bombed the house washed everything in site etc etc, she wasn't going out. I finally bought an alternative, cant think what its called now its at home.

But within 2 days cat was brighter, a week later 90% of her skin is better without any creams etc.

Since then I've meet lots of people who have had the same issue (not one of the buggers thought to tell me when I was paying out for useless creams etc !)

So sorry it still could be fleas. . .

NinaHeart · 27/06/2012 12:56

I've always understood that it isn't that you don't get bitten, but that you don't react in the same way, ie produce so much histamine.

oopslateagain · 27/06/2012 13:03

I'm a bit paranoid about fleas as we had an outbreak last year even though all 3 cats were on frontline, we switched to Advocate for a couple of months and fleabombed and haven't had the problem since, but I have checked and re-checked the cats and there is no flea evidence. Not to say it isn't fleas of course, anything is possible (even if it makes me itch to think it). That's why we're investigating. I've had a sticky pad out for two days but nothing is on it except dust.

Nina believe me, I do produce histamine... wayyyy too much. I am allergic to so many things it's not even funny. On the very odd occasion I have been bitten, I've reacted badly. Apparently mini is right, I'm just sour. Grin

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 27/06/2012 13:05

But why does anyone need to be bitten? Why not just put her in the spare room and see if that solves it?

NinaHeart · 27/06/2012 14:51

Or put a shallow bowl of hot water in the suspect room. Fleas will be attracted to the heat and jump in.