To ask why breatfeeding mother get free hospital food

[McHappyPants2012]

In work last week and was working on the children ward. Formula feed babies the mothers had to pay £1.50 for a meal yet breastfeeding mother was told ther is no charge.

Formula on children ward are only provided in an emergency so I don't think it's down to cost

No apologies needed! :) I was just saying I know how you all feel. I think a campaign could be a good idea because like it's been said before, children's wards couldn't work without dedicated parents.

Well, I've just reported my own post and in the comments have asked what MNHQ think about a campaign on this. So, hopefully we may here from them on here later ?

When parents can't/won't stay the staff of course look after them, but this is time consuming for the staff as especially young children who are poorly need a lot of care. Last time DS was in he was only in for 48 hours but there was one baby who had nobody with him in that time so when he was awake he was sat at the nurses station with the staff or being walked up and down by them.

I do find it sad that so many parents don't even have access to a parents room. Even worse when it's the behaviour of a small amount of those parents who have led to it being closed. Our parents room often has biscuits/sweets/fruit that have been left by other parents with a note saying "we have gone home, please enjoy" and one time a dad who worked at a local crisp factory came in with a black bin bag full of crisps for the parents. This thread makes me feel lucky that we have such good facilities.

At 5 days old Ds was admitted to hospital because of how much weight he'd lost since birth. I stayed with him. We were bfing. He had about 200ml of formula before moving to exclusively expressed breast milk. I had to pump every 3 hours and bottle feed every 3 hours. The hospital fed me. If they hadn't Ds would have had to be formula fed. In the early days (before weaning is established) a bf mother needs 500 extra calories a day.

Also, we live 1 hour from the hospital so it would have been very difficult for me to get anything decent to eat. It was expected that I would be with Ds 24/7.

Housespouse - there was one little girl of about 7-10y in with some kind of injury that made her immobile (not going to get any more specific than that) so she was bed bound. Her parent(s)/grandparent(s) visited her for an hour or so (I never saw the same person twice and they generally read the paper while they were there!), they didn't stay with her all day and all night. She was obviously very distressed and would swear and shout and cry most of the time (when she wasn't playing on a gameboy or something). It was horrible to see and I really wanted to help her but I was told by a nurse not approach her.

There was once a little baby that was ill with some chest complaint, his single mother had to stay at home as she had D&V and so had her other children (so banned from the ward in effect) so her baby had a foster carer looking after him. He cried almost all the time from being parted from his mum the FC unfrotunately didn't seem to do much caring she just sat next to his bed while he screamed.

Unfortunately DD3 may well be one of those unaccompanied children soon if she has another asthma attack. I have been told I am not welcome on the children's ward while I haven't got my epilepsy under control (I am pg and it can be more difficult to get seizure control then).

I had a seizure after DD3 had a very bad attack (needed hourly nebs) and we didn't get a bed until nearly 4am, it took a while to settle her to sleep as she was wired from the salbutamol then as soon as I had gone to sleep, she was woken for her nebs (and repeat ad nauseum). I had a seizure in the bed later that morning which they were NOT happy about (no one was hurt - I just went unconscious and could be woken for a while).

I got told that next time she was admitted DH would have to stay with her, he can't as he would be putting his job in danger & as DD3 is bf and gets distressed when in hospital she needs me to calm her down. Also, if I am going to have a seizure I would much rather be in a hospital than home alone with 2 small children for possibly days at a time (DD1 is 6y and DD2 is 4y). DD1 & 2 know how to deal with me having seizure - they call DH but if he is in hospital with DD3 who do they call/what do they do? Would they be expected to fend for themselves for the hours it may take for me to be compos mentus?

Sorry completely off topic!

Don't be sorry TruthSweet and not off topic at all IMHO (though I can be a bit tangential myself
But this thread has become about meeting some of the basic needs of the parents and family of someone in hospital. I think that's what happens with discussion - it develops - sometimes towards what is most important or the essence of a thread.

Holistic care anyone ? Of the family as a whole ?

I am fairly certain formula is also provided free, so I reckon our hospital are being consistent.

The majority of children's wards where children stay fo any length of time DO have basic kitchen provision for parents.

Look, in the great scheme of things, provision may not be ideal but the most imprtant thing about the NHS is that it treat the illness or condition. IMO it will make MN look foolish to campaign about platefuls of horrible food. When wards are re-furbished, cupboards are built to house the (very comfortable) fold out beds, kitchens and fridges with microwaves are provided, there are so many more important things to campaign about.

I soeak as a parent who has spent long periods with a child in hospital having complex surgery.

Compared to keeping the NHS intact for top quality health provision, ensuring enough nurses on the wards to provide essential nursing care so that a child doesn't have to wait an hour for pain relief, improving the vital support services not subject to the targets that hospitals are judges on, are all far more important than meals for parents and some sort of perceived injustice of some people getting a few tins of formula or a few plates of slimy chips. It's all just harrumphing.

HELP your friends with children in hospital, give them a lift, take tasty food, offer to sit with their child.

Oh, and we pay £25 a day for parking.

We do have a parents room. With a fridge, microwave and facilities to make hot drinks.
We also had a plasma tv but one of the parents decided they wanted that instead of the basic facilities we offered them.

I just think a parents charter or some such thing for parents of sick children wouldn't be so diificult to put in place. To ensure that good practice is repeated throughout the NHS, that parents rooms can't just be closed because of a few difficulties, that parents caring for their children have a few basic rights to enable them to provide for their own basic needs, whilst also providing that care for their children.

I don't really accept it would take anything away from any other campaign either.
In my book making the world a better place is making the world a better place IYSWIM

Mrs DV- I sympathetise totally with the fact you need to be there for your child. And this can mean missing out on your own needs. But I also feel family should help each other out as much as possible too. I.e partners/spouses/friends bringing nutritious food in. We try our best to deliver quality care to children in an overstretched service as it is, it is very stabby to hear parents slating us because we dont feed them. We try our best and its really disheartening at times.

Well, a TV seems like a reasonable addition ShuckUp - a little distraction might be helpful when caring 24/7 for your sick child in an unfamiliar environment - for weeks or months at a time. And they're all fancy TV's these days.

It's not either or Indie.
Parents should not be treated as a nuisance whilst be expected to stay.
They are either vital or they are not and if they are they should be treated with respect.
When they built the brand new uch hospital in equation they DID not include adequate facilities on the oncology wards.
Parents had to share the tiny room with parents on the general ward
Parent who were staying with their infectious children.
Parents who could get by on cuppa soup for a few days before they went home and never returned.
Meanwhile there was no washing machine, no kitchen and a parents room with nothing in it on the oncology ward.
Somewhere people live for months at a time.

So excuse me if I say how fucking dare you to your snotty 'perceived injustice'
Pay £25 a day doesn't qualify you to dismiss the experiences of the parents of long term patients.

Ask for help? Who was going to sit with my child? My dying child whilst I popped out for a sandwich?

FYI anyone who starts. Sentence with 'look' has already proved how rude they are

Do you not understand my post?
The TV got STOLEN by some over entitled scum bag.
Yet another reason we have less and less money to provide the basics.

what if the father is with the child?

hospitals don't seem to want to make life easier for parents.
a couple of years a go my dd had an op,
15 and severely disabled, so she could not be left.
If I had been alone I would have been stuffed as there was no way I could have even have gone and got a cup of tea.
we spent the day in a room on our own, then at night were moved to a word.
we were not allowed to take hot drinks on the ward. there were 3 kids on teh ward. mine and another severely disabled on and a lad who was in bed. so there was no risk.
we (the other parent and me) were told we could not keep our kids wheelchairs on the ward!!! WTF.
if it hadn't been for the other mum and the fact both our kids knew each other. so we could watch each others. we would have been very hungry,(I didn't find out until the day that she was staying in.

add in, brand new childrens hospital, not one toilet that my dd could access.
and one BB space that a WAV could use!!

How are friends meant to bring nutritious food in if there's no access to a microwave or kitchen - really limits possibilities imo.

My oh was either at work or looking After our other children. I had left ,y job to care for my DD and we couldn't afford for him to do the same.
There was no parking at one hospital and my OH cannot walk.

No one is asking to be fed by nurses ffs.
Access to food would be sufficient thank you.

Did you have no access to something like ronald McDonald's house with parent accommodation MrsDeVere? My friend has spent a lot of time in and out of hopsital with her son and has found them invaluable even if just for nipping over to grab some food and put washing on before going back to the bedside. I do think any hopsital who has children as long term patients on a regular basis needs something like that as beyond a few weeks a parents room and bed at the side of the child isn't really enough.

Nice generalisation there MetalliMa....I just love working exhausting 14 hour shifts bending over backwards to try and accomodate patients and their families only to be told I dont want to make life easier for parents...

looks for job at Tescos

Who decided to buy a fucking plasma tv?
What a stupid idea.
What is the point when all beds have a tv anyway.
Bet no one asked the long stay parents what they wanted.
If I couldn't leave my DD to eat wtf would I want with a tv in a room I couldn't go in?

No, I didn't understand from your post that the TV got stolen. But a hospital is a public place - unfortunately these things can happen. Perhaps the next TV (because why should everyone suffer because of the actions of the criminal few) could be more securely fixed in place etc. Perhaps a cheap TV is a better option too. Maybe people/ companies/ charities would be pleased to donate one to the local hospital for the parents room ? There are always options to consider.

Some parents appreciate a room where they can be away from their child for a short amount of time to get a bit of a break. Or relatives can sit in their instead of all huddling in a cubicle or a childs bed space.
Many parents appreciated it. But as usual some people will complain. Cant do right for doing wrong mainly

I can see why a tv in a parents room would be good, when DS was in HDU I couldn't sleep in the room with him (simply not the space and with staff with him 24/7 and constant obs it would have been impossible anyway) I was given a bed in the day unit but would quite often sit for hours overnight in the parents room watching news 24/7 simply as a distraction and then doze on the sofa in the parents room.

Here we go.
You chose to work those shifts because the pattern suits.
You don't work 7 14 hour shifts a weeks so enough with the martyred posts.

Stop being so bloody self righteous, this isn't about you.
No one is asking nurses to wait on parents.
And what would you do if all the parents ducked off Nd left you to it.
14 hour shifts would seem bliss