To ask why breatfeeding mother get free hospital food

[McHappyPants2012]

In work last week and was working on the children ward. Formula feed babies the mothers had to pay £1.50 for a meal yet breastfeeding mother was told ther is no charge.

Formula on children ward are only provided in an emergency so I don't think it's down to cost

That's so understandable Sirzy it should be expected really. Maybe to a parent their sick child is the only person in the world. But actually, from all I've seen and heard, parents usually give each other so much support, and are very appreciative of all the nurses and doctors do for their child.

Whoa ladies.
Mrs DV I dread to think of what you have gone through. I really do. But I'm sure you must of come across some "good" and helpful nurses. Maybe there was one or two that genuinely did try to help you and your daughter on a more practical level?

Fut, I have been lucky enough to have dealt with some fabulous, helpful nurses, and I DO make a point of letting them know this. My sister even bought a batch of home made mini muffins (not much in the whole scheme of things) but it was something to show our appreciation. However I have also met some horrendously rude, uninterested and down right stroppy ones. I had a horrendous time, when DD pulled her NH tube and oxygen tubes from her face, ripping her skin at the same time, and I couldn't get on nurse to get up from drinking tea at the nurses station to come help. In the end I had to take DD (out of isolation unit) to show them so they would help. Like I said above, one also told me that there was no chance of getting DD something to eat at 6.30pm after being admitted, obviously this was false as another more compassionate nurse did find her something.
Also please let it be known, I am VERY careful about asking for help with minor things if the nurses are busy/struggling/ or dealing with a sick child.
Everyone appreciates nurses, but parents do need more provision in some hospitals, especially as they are needed to be there. This thread is just high lighting, not demanding, where we could use some help. And it is a good resource to find answers that work and are financially viable for NHS.

Obviously that should be NG tube!!

Mrs DV I really do admire any parent who cares for a sick child long term, I wish no parent ever had to go through what you and your beautiful daughter did. Its difficult as you are coming from the point of view as a parent of a sick child- I cannot do that, as you cannot fully appreciate it from a nurses point of view.
We all try our best, in the main though and want our patients and families to have the best care possible. We just cant do everything sadly.

I'm not disputing it's understandable to an extent but to complain 2 minutes after your son has asked for toast that it hasnt arrived? Or buzz the nurses because the juice isn't cold enough? That's just down to unrealistic expectations!

I think it's fair enough if we're coming from the POV of a parent of a sick child on a parents forum though, hey SU ?

Of course but there always always two sides. Wouldnt be much of a discussion if someone couldn't add an alternative input and try to explain why some things are not possible would it?

I have been extremely lucky when ds has had to stay on the children's ward, that they can see how clingy he is and how difficult it is for me to leave him, when he has stayed in he will only sleep on me, and it I usually end up being up all night with him. The nurses and other staff on the ward have all been lovely, and I have had food provided if I want it. True ds is the patient, but he needs me there and I am integral to his wellbeing and recovery.

Strangely when he was in SCBU, and I was staying in a room in SCBU, and expressing milk to be put in his feeding tube, no meals were provided and I relied on dh to bring food in, and one lovely nurse who would always find me and ask if i wanted anything bought up when she went on her break (I had had a csection, and had phlebitis in my leg, so was unable to walk down to the shop).

However, I have also had extensive stays in hospital myself and have seen some appalling care, where patients have been neglected and ignored. When people complain about this happening, it must be hard if you are one of the good nurses, because it must feel as though all you ever hear are complaints, but it does happen, and it seems to happen far too frequently. So what are people supposed to do when they are treated poorly at a time when they are hugely vulnerable, because they are caring for a sick loved one or are ill themselves?

Thing is I think they are possible ShuckUp - meeting parents basic needs as they care for their sick children in hospital.

That should be possible ... and I'm sure it is. I think we all just have to believe more that change is possible, and see what needs to be done differently.

because they need to keep the mum nourished enough for her to provide breast milk, they also give a pint of milk per day for breast feeding mums. they only will feed the patients and as a bb baby needs it from mum then the mum needs to be kept looked after for babies sake

But more time/resources meeting anyone other than the patients needs takes time away from the patients themselves surely? Which people will then also complain about.
An example in case- our dinner trolley came up yesterday. We have no specific staff member to serve food- its whoever is free. Yesterday we were short staffed anyway. A nurse had to serve the dinners- fine nutrition is a big part of patients care. We have to probe every food item and record the temperature. Then serve 20 children their meals. If parents had meals too this would have obviously took even longer. In all this time the patients I was caring for were having to wait for medications, observations, taking to the toilet etc. All things that are basic patient care.
Its sometimes not as simple as it appears.

When I was in hospital (for something rather more minor than anyone on this thread so far!) I was told that staff couldn't provide food between 6pm and breakfast-time, because the privatised catering staff took the keys to the food cupboard, etc home with them.

Is that an issue affecting more important areas of the hospital?

Same as any walk of life - there are good nurses and there are shit nurses.

There are also patient, understanding parents and down-right pain in the arse parents.

Didn't happen when I was in a cildren's ward with my breastfed ds - i went to the shop.

It just scared me how easily we were forgotten. I am fortunate I could stay. But what if you were a single mum with 5 other kids at home?? You might have to leave a baby - and who would ensure s/he got their medication/food etc at the right times??

What if a parent couldn't drive. Our local hospital is on a dual carriageway. If you were a long stay parent your only option would be spending ££££ everyday in the hospital canteen.

If the hospital relies on parents as part of the chil's care - they should make adequate provisions for them.

It is very variable. Busy people also don't have time to listen.

For example, when DS1 was admitted (fractured femur) and was put into traction, I told the staff, clearly not forcefully enough, that he had very sensitive, atopic skin, and the sticking plaster they were using to attach him to the frame would be very likely to cause break down. They ignored me. And were then TERRIBLY surprised that his skin was broken down with open sores 12 hours later. So to add to the discomfort of a baby with a broken limb, he had open wounds - in a hospital with rife MRSA. They weren't being unkind, they weren't rude, they just did not have time to consider other options.

And another nurse, doing his legs one day, bandaged them ineffectively (moaning that he should be in sticking plaster) so that he actually fell from the frame (if you've never seen a baby in traction - they literally tie both legs up to a frame, bum off the bed. It looks medieval.) I caught him, but it obviously caused him additional pain.

But the student nurse, who obviously had more time, was wonderful with him. A couple of the Sisters were also great and had a fantastic rapport with parents. The doctors were appalling (accusations of abuse, and one stalked onto the ward and said "Where's this femur, then?" followed by patronising, innaccurate information. I admit, I lost the head somewhat at that. The next doctor to come said "Where's this irate parent?" )

It's the trapped feeling, too. And you are so exposed, even in a private room, there's no actual privacy. Obviously, with DS1 being in traction, BFing was tricky to say the least. Made trickier yet by people popping in and out for one reason or another. Yes, they knock, but they don't wait for an answer!

Anyway, there's a mix of good and bad, as everywhere - but when you're long stay on a ward, confined to a small, sweltering room, without hot food, no adult company, TV that is switched off at 9pm, no internet in those days, ANTS in the room, frantic with worry about the poorly child and the other children at home, and unutterably exhausted... it adds up to being a little bit sensitive! It took me a very long time to get over that month - mrsDV I just don't know how you did it for years

Nurses have to ensure kids get their feeds/meds whether a parent is with them or not. Thats an issue of professionalism. If im looking after kids who have no parents with them, I know when they need meds/feeds/nappy changes etc. I also wouldnt assume because they had a parent with them they would do all their feeds etc. As I am in charge of providing their nursing needs why would I delegate it away to a parent unless they specifically asked to?

TheBigJessie I think you are right. My hospital certainly as catering staff, and nurses dont deal with food. However, I think there are provisions for emergency food? DD was given a sandwich, yoghurt,
And a juice carton. Not the most nutritious dinner, but I was very grateful, as she was starving and the nurse had understood that it would be bad care practice to leave her having not eaten.

Well how you describe yourself is very different from what I experienced.

Some nurses were amazing - don't get me wrong. But having to go and ask for your child's IV antibiotics that are 2 hours overdue?? Really??

I wouldn't get away with that sort of laxidaisical attidude in my job.

i find its the ones who dont spend much time in hospital that are the pain in the arse parents, they come in for something minor for 48hours max and the parents are moaning about anything and everything. i understand its quite daunnting when first going in but after spends months in and out of hospital at a time, u realise just the reason things are why they are. u never hear the long term parents moaning. being stuck in cubicles in isolation for 3weeks plus and u get some1 come in as a day patient on the open ward and they say we're lucky for having a cubicle. 3weeks at a time being 2hours from home so having to live in the small cubicle certainly isnt lucky. getting a break for 30mins per day whilst getting a playworker to look after child so can get that 1 meal a day. some nights also getting a break to nip off for food. people need to stop moaning and think more about their kids instead of themselves

We have to sign to say whether we are willing to help with basic care and giving medication upon admission. If a parent doesn't sign that is all done by the nursing staff. I am more than happy to do the bits I would normally do at home when we are in though!

Catin - did you make an official complaint about it? It's only by complaining about things that are wrong (and praising the good) that the service can be improved

I'm not a peads nurse, but work in an area of nursing where relatives often stay for extended periods with the sicker patients.

It would make life so much easier for everyone if food and basic facilities could be provided, and in all honesty a few extra meals/drinks would not break the bank for the NHS. Believe me.

If spending a few quid on some basic provisions means that parents/relatives have a less stressful experience, and this in turn benefits the patients then it can only be a good thing.

Problem with the NHS, something as simple as starting up a new service like that is a total nightmare, barriers, its not my job, there's no space etc.

Sucks the life out of the staff that want to make a difference.

But really, I can assure you the money is there for some food, drinks and a washing machine. Its the systems that stop it from happening.

I work in a childrens hospital. There are 18 wards and various departments. Meals for parents WOULD make a huge difference cost wise.

they do throw lots of food away in the kitchen, they should feed the kids first and then offer the extra food to parents. or atleast have a trolley come round so u can buy a sandwich