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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider asking that this registrar is not allowed in the room when I'm in labour?

57 replies

ontheedgeofwhatever · 26/06/2012 09:19

I'm under a consultant in this pregnancy but keep seeing his registrar (fair enough). However, I really really do not like her. She treats me like an idiot, seems to know nothing about my condition and has no empathy. I know she's busy but here are some of her comments -

Why are you here - this is an antenatal clinic? (I was 28 weeks pregnant and it was obvious)

At 30 weeks - you're not married are you so how will you support your child (umm dp and I have been together 14 years and have a well supported 6 year old)

If you had a still birth first time why did you get pregnant again? followed a week later by "I see you've already got 2 children to look after that must be tiring" (I've only got one live child and she knows this and had the relevent page of notes open in front of her)

Yesterday she said "oh this liver condition you've got is it the one that makes you itch or something, I'm not really familiar with it". She followed this up with "do you realise we can't induce you today you'll have to wait a few weeks yet as baby not ready to come out yet" When I said I didn't want to be induced at 33 weeks pregnant she said "oh I thought you didn't like the itching so wanted induction today, I thought you may not understand baby isn't ready to be born yet". She also refused to prescribe me a cream recommended by my wonderful midwife to control itching as "Even though it will help I don't really approve of using it because they only finished trial 2 years ago"

Those are just examples I feel as if she has something against me personally. Now have it into my head she'll want to turn up at the birth. To be honest I've got a horrible feeling that if she does my next stop after birth will be a police cell facing assault charges.

What can I do? I seem to be stuck with her. I can cope with her comments at the moment but not sure I'll be able to in labour :(

OP posts:
AnyoneForTennis · 26/06/2012 09:26

Let her turn up at the birth! Assault during labour is permissible I think! Grin

She sounds horrendous.

bagelmonkey · 26/06/2012 09:27

You can ask if there's someone else, but she may be the only doctor available on the day.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 26/06/2012 09:28

Do registrars normally attend births?

Mine didn't - mayb you'll be lucky and never see her again.

I agree with you though, she doesn't sound as if she has a good bedside manner. And wtaf foes your ability to support a baby have to do with her?

greenbananas · 26/06/2012 09:29

I can't see why she would want to be at the birth, but do understand that you are feeling threatened by this woman at a very vulnerable time. I would ask to see her immediate superior and explain exactly what you have written here.

Sluttybuttons · 26/06/2012 09:31

Or you could try "did you mean to sound so rude/ignorant/bitchy/fuckwitted" (delete as appropriate

ChopstheDuck · 26/06/2012 09:31

I think on the day you get the duty registrar, so chances are it may not even be her. I saw one registrar throughout the pregnancy, then on the day of my elective section, I saw a new one - who was completely bonkers and wanted to cancel my section.
I've no idea who actually did the section, I paid far more attention to the anethestist who was up my end and had the sexisest voice ever rather than whoever was down the other end. But I think it may have been a man, and so someone else again!

Hebiegebies · 26/06/2012 09:32

Try green bananas idea or contact PALs if your hospital has one. Her comments are not acceptable.

GingerBlondecat · 26/06/2012 09:32

I'd go as far as make a complaint about her.

She sounds like a twit.

Haberdashery · 26/06/2012 09:33

I would make a complaint about her. She sounds beyond awful. Can you talk to the actual consultant or to PALS?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 26/06/2012 09:33

I'd let your consultant know why you don't want this woman at your baby's birth. He should know how unprofessional his registrars are being and how badly they are treating his patients.

She sounds horrible. Don't let her ruin your birth experience for you. In fact, get your dp to manage this for you, you are doing enough by growing the baby.

it might be worth calling PALS and getting advice from them.

Frikadellen · 26/06/2012 09:34

I would make a complaint and yes absolutely you can make it clear you do not want her near you during labour. You can also request a transfer to someone " with less issues over how you chose to live your life" (I would likely phrase it more bluntly in the transfer) She needs to be taught she cant behave like that.

ChopstheDuck · 26/06/2012 09:34

During my first labour I had a registrar turn up for the birth as baby's heart rate was dipping, and again, it was whoever was available. She sat on the floor, leaning against the wall opposite and roughly at eye level to my vagina, clearly exhausted! I've never had a registrar present throughout labour.

TBH, although she sounds awful, at the point of birth I don't think you will be worrying at all who is in the room.

GingerBlondecat · 26/06/2012 09:34

Yes, I'd try and tell someone Now, that you do NOT want her in the Labor Room.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/06/2012 09:37

I'd talk to PALS and possibly put your post into an email and send it too them.

She really sounds like a nightmare.

hackmum · 26/06/2012 09:39

I agree with Frikadellen about making a complaint. I think some of those things are quite serious. I mean, "oh this liver condition you've got is it the one that makes you itch or something, I'm not really familiar with it"!!! Even I know a little bit about obstetric cholestatis (I assume that's what it is) and I am not a doctor!

A comment such as "If you had a still birth first time why did you get pregnant again?" takes offensiveness to new levels, as does referring to your two live children when she already knows that one of them has died.

If she's like this to you she's probably like this to other women too. You'll be doing everyone a favour by complaining about her.

lilypainter · 26/06/2012 09:46

You can ask, but if you go into labour out of hours and she's the registrar on call, it's possible that she will be the only doctor available.

I'd second suggestions that you talk to her superior / your consultant and explain your concerns.

From what you say, this registrar needs to get her act together and learn how to talk to patients - whether she is being deliberatly insenstive and unprofessional, or whether she means well but doesn't realise just how badly she's coming across, it needs addressing. Hopefully if you do talk to her superior / your consultant, they'll act on it.

Original poster
ontheedgeofwhatever · 26/06/2012 09:50

Yes it is obstrtric cholestatis and I can confirm it does make you very itchy Grin

Thank you I really thought I was being unreasonable and letting my hormones rule my brain. I've put her comments in the OP as they were said. I keep making excuses for her in my mind and can't understand why -just thought being so exhausted, pregnant and itchy was making me irrational and unreasonable

I'm going to talk to my community midwife as she's really good and one step removed from the hospital and I know she'll help me if she can.

Chopstheduck sorry but the idea of the registrar spendinng the entire time slumped at eye level to your vagina makes me smile (i know it shouldn't)

OP posts:
Sarcalogos · 26/06/2012 09:55

I would speak to PALs and also email the consultant with a report including every innapropriate comment/list of ways she has made you uncomfortable.

The things you describe here are indefensible.

Longtalljosie · 26/06/2012 10:11

I really would make a complaint. It won't just be you she's treating like this. She needs to be stopped - she's a menace. I'm so angry on your behalf about the stillbirth comment.

SilverSixpence · 26/06/2012 10:13

She sounds rude and insensitive, I'm surprised she thinks she can get away with it, aside from it being cruel to treat a patient like that!

It's not that likely she'd be there during your labour anyway as it is shift work and she might be on leave/ on nights/ working in a different area but if you feel very strongly about it then I would say something.

WorriedWart · 26/06/2012 11:23

She sounds vile. Please don't put up with being spoken to like that.

I would refuse to see her again and make a compliant that explains why. PALS should be able to help you with this. How DARE she ask you why you got pregnant again and then refer to you having two children.

Good luck. If you complain, it's possible that she will think twice before saying such stupid things in future.

hiddenhome · 26/06/2012 11:29

Is she aware that obstetric cholestasis can be harmful to the baby? Have you had this looked into properly? It's not just a case of being very itchy.

TheBigJessie · 26/06/2012 11:35

Obstetric Cholestasis? Are you getting anything for it?

Frankly, I'm scared to ever have children again, after the first time.

LadySybil · 26/06/2012 11:35

she sounds very strange. I would complain to her senior rather than pals, but thats me.
get another opinion on the cream, just because your midwife is lovely doesnt necessarily mean her opinion on the cream is more appropriate.

good luck with the rest of the pregnancy :)

fifitrixibell · 26/06/2012 11:42

She sounds unbelievable - for an obstetric registrar not to be familiar with obstetric cholestasis is beyond frightening.

Have you got any more antenatal consultant appointments before delivery? If you have, ask beforehand if you can be seen by the consultant without the reg, and explain your concerns. The consultant needs to know what this woman is doing, so she can get her communication skills improved!

If not, then tell the midwife who looks after you when you go in and hopefully they will be able to provide a buffer between you and the registrar.

Good luck!

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