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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider asking that this registrar is not allowed in the room when I'm in labour?

57 replies

ontheedgeofwhatever · 26/06/2012 09:19

I'm under a consultant in this pregnancy but keep seeing his registrar (fair enough). However, I really really do not like her. She treats me like an idiot, seems to know nothing about my condition and has no empathy. I know she's busy but here are some of her comments -

Why are you here - this is an antenatal clinic? (I was 28 weeks pregnant and it was obvious)

At 30 weeks - you're not married are you so how will you support your child (umm dp and I have been together 14 years and have a well supported 6 year old)

If you had a still birth first time why did you get pregnant again? followed a week later by "I see you've already got 2 children to look after that must be tiring" (I've only got one live child and she knows this and had the relevent page of notes open in front of her)

Yesterday she said "oh this liver condition you've got is it the one that makes you itch or something, I'm not really familiar with it". She followed this up with "do you realise we can't induce you today you'll have to wait a few weeks yet as baby not ready to come out yet" When I said I didn't want to be induced at 33 weeks pregnant she said "oh I thought you didn't like the itching so wanted induction today, I thought you may not understand baby isn't ready to be born yet". She also refused to prescribe me a cream recommended by my wonderful midwife to control itching as "Even though it will help I don't really approve of using it because they only finished trial 2 years ago"

Those are just examples I feel as if she has something against me personally. Now have it into my head she'll want to turn up at the birth. To be honest I've got a horrible feeling that if she does my next stop after birth will be a police cell facing assault charges.

What can I do? I seem to be stuck with her. I can cope with her comments at the moment but not sure I'll be able to in labour :(

OP posts:

Socknickingpixie · 26/06/2012 11:42

outraged brilliant advice and post.

Only thing I can add is include it in birthplan

Viviennemary · 26/06/2012 11:51

Tell somebody who is involved in your care. I wonder if your GP would be sympathetic. If you wrote all the points down. She sounds a totally horrible woman who should not be involved in the care of women in labour. Her job should be to put your mind at rest.

birdofthenorth · 26/06/2012 11:53

You should definitely complain to the consultant, in writing, copying in the revelant compaints authority. The comment re your marital status controvenes all NHS diversity commitments. The comment re pregnancy after still birth is unbelievable, and the comment re running round after two children deeply insensitive. I would state those three comments particularly, and explain there have been other incidences of insensitivity and professional incompetance, but perhaps don't go into great detail as those are the clearest incidences of inappropriate communication.

Most definetly write that you have lodged a complaint against this person in your birth plan and politely request that she not be involved in your birthing care/ delivery.

Sorry you've experienced this. I am genuinely aghast at the pregnancy after stillbirth comment. Appalling.

MonaLotte · 26/06/2012 11:56

I had OC with ds1 and found magi cool spray excellent for the itching. I feel for you.

I would complain about her as she is being very unprofessional and goodness knows what she is saying to other less experienced mothers to be.

ZZZenAgain · 26/06/2012 12:00

write a written complaint about the main issues and ensure that dh or another close friend/relative is there for the birth and knows what you want to stick up for you. It is hard to do that yourself when you are going through labour.

dementedmumof6 · 26/06/2012 14:33

I would insist on seeing your consultant and telling him exactly what you've told us.
With my 2nd baby i knew she was going to be big as my 1st was 9lb 10oz, and saw the registrar, who from the first day told me she didnt believe in inductions and would leave me as long as possible. At my appointment the day before my due date she refused to do a sweep or anything else although was so big i could barely walk so i insisted on seeing the consultant before even examining me he told me he would book me in the following day for induction and as it happens 5 out of my 6 labours have been induced, same consultant with 4 different registrar.
So please please don't think you have to see her your consultant will have others under him as well as her and if he can't see you one of them should be able to.

Snowsquonk · 26/06/2012 14:52

Oh please complain - and say what you've said in your post!!

One thing which can help with the itching of OC is to get some porridge oats and tie them into a muslin or a pair of tights and hang them under the tap when you run a bath - it makes the bath oaty and is very soothing. Just remember to chuck the oats away after before they set solid around the taps....

You can refuse to see this registrar again - their consultant needs to be aware of what they are saying & doing and this will only happen if you complain

dondon33 · 26/06/2012 14:56

Definitely complain, from what you've said I doubt you're the only person who thinks she's an incompetent, tactless witch.

Demand to see your own consultant, if you kick up enough fuss then they should see you personally, I've had to do it with my last pregnancy and my consultant really listened and helped me.

Mishy1234 · 26/06/2012 15:03

YANBU, she sounds dreadful!

I would complain asap and ask not to see her again. Say that you have no confidence in her, given that she didn't seem to know what OC was.

combinearvester · 26/06/2012 15:10

If you have had a previous stillbirth you should be treated like the Queen in this pregnancy.

In the pregnancy after a (badly mismanaged) late miscarriage I had a letter from the bereavement midwife saying I did particularly did not want X person and if humanly possible no other SHOs to see me during labour. I also did not want the sound turned on the heartbeat monitor machine thingy.

I only saw the consultant and senior specialist midwife during my pregnancy, and the midwife I had during the birth followed the instructions in my letter completely.

You deserve better treatment than this person is giving you. Ask to be treated by someone else, or if you don't feel able to, get bereavement midwife / community midwife to advocate for you.

Also if SANDS still do the teardrop stickers, shove a hundred of them all over your notes.

mummymeister · 26/06/2012 15:37

I know it is difficult to complain when you have everything else going on but if you dont then she is going to carry on being so insensitive and unhelpful for ever! By making a written complaint you can put all of your conversations in calmly and you can make it clear that unless completely unavoidable (ie there is no one else ) you do not want her in your labour room. I would discuss it with as many people as you can. sometimes gp's are good at putting pressure on consultants to deal with their registrars. i had a problem with one (not in pregnancy) told my gp who was horrified and who then took it up for me with the consultant. i never had to see the reg. again. tough to do but it will give you peace of mind that she will be v unlikely to walk in on you.

elizaregina · 26/06/2012 15:40

I dont think someone in a sensitive job like that - should make such invasive comments...

she might really affect an un confident single mum who is already scared by implying she dissaproving in some way - I would in a nice way report her to PALS.

Thumbwitch · 26/06/2012 15:48

She sounds an utter twat, actually. You should definitely put in a complaint - she sounds incompetent and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near pregnant women with that attitude and lack of knowledge.

I think you are well within your rights to demand that you never see her again; a complaint to PALS and to the consultant (who really needs to know that his/her reg is so fucking appalling/useless), as well as talking it over with your MWs; and put it in your birth plan! If she doesn't know and hasn't taken the trouble to find out what OC is, then you don't want her anywhere near you in labour.

oldraver · 26/06/2012 17:44

I am astounded at a Registrar who doesnt appear to want to now about OC, does she not realise how serious it can be.

As far as i am concerned if you need medication you should get it, I was prescribed Piriton for the itching and Urso Acid... which at the time wasn't on license for PG women (cant remember the actual term) but I TRUSTED my consultant to do the best for me and my baby

Heebiejeebie · 26/06/2012 18:06

Please please ask to see the consultant to let them know, or write with your concerns. The consultant is responsible for supervising her training and there are some massive training issues here. The consultant would be appalled to know this is happening in his or her clinic, and for the sake of all the patients to come, they need to know. Sorry that this doctor is making a difficult time harder.

Floggingmolly · 26/06/2012 18:22

"Why are you here, this is an antenatal clinic". I'd have reported her for this alone, and then refused to be in her presence ever again. Absolutely make your feelings known, include it in your notes too.

OlympicFlame · 26/06/2012 18:30

I would hazard a guess that your consultant is very aware already about the abilities, patient manner and attitude of their registrar. But you should discuss it with them, in person and back up in writing. Because registrars like this become consultants like this unless they undergo retraining to improve. In your conversation/letter, inform your consultant that you do not want this registrar to be involved in your child's birth in any way, shape or form. And copy the letter to PALS.

IME people don't complain enough. It is important to complain so that the member of staff can be dealt with/retrained appropriately.

ophelia275 · 26/06/2012 18:52

She sounds like an arse.

With regards to the itching, you probably have PUPPS. I had it too, pain in the arse! Are you having a boy? It's more common in boy pregnancies.

What really helped was Pine Tar soap. You can buy it online (I got mine on ebay)!

CrustyBurd · 26/06/2012 18:52

OT but could the itching be PUPPP? I had that in pregnancy, bloody horrible it was.

CrustyBurd · 26/06/2012 18:53

Ophelia, great minds.

MarysBeard · 26/06/2012 19:00

Surely most people go on to try for/ have another baby after their first is still born? I agree, she sounds like a real twunt.

greentea72 · 26/06/2012 22:01

I wrote in my birth plan for my second birth that I did not want to be attended to my the same midwife as my first. I think it caused a few sniggers in the ward (apparently she is notorious for her lack of bedside manner). I didn't see her at all during my stay and the staff who did look after me were lovely!!! I do think you should complain as well though.

Mermaidspam · 26/06/2012 22:20

Can you request an alternative registrar? I didn't know that was possible.

tbh I hated my registrar, he was so blunt with me, sharp sometimes, at others downright rude.

My feelings towards him after the birth were somewhat different as he saved my life!

stella1w · 26/06/2012 22:32

Day i went into labour i went for a sweep and encountered midwife from hell who booked me for induction against my wishes, harangued me about home birth and blamed me for high bp plus more. Later that day, went into labour, called the unit who said x would come. Then my phone rang and the same awful midwif from earlier said SHE was coming which is bizarre as she had already been on duty for mroe than 12 hours. My labour stalled, she turned up and continued to be a nightmare and i found the whole thing v scarey. I found out later that i had the right to request a different nmidwife even in labour and that i could have complained to a supervisor at thhe time. I think you shd complain now and ensure she does not turn up.

Original poster

ontheedgeofwhatever · 27/06/2012 09:23

Thank you all. I'll try buying some magispray and pine tar soap to see if it helps.

Its not PUPP its definitely obstetric cholestasis and confirmed by blood tests. I think PUPP has a rash of some sort. OC has no visable signs you just itch plus its a risk to the baby :(

I've just had a long chat with my midwife who said that I was not the first of her patients to complain to her about this particular registrar and when I have my appointment with her late next week she'll go over my complaint with me before I put it in. In the meantime she's going to contact the hospital and ask them to arrange for me to see the consultant on Monday.

Thanks again

OP posts:

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