Personal cards up at home

[bettybat]

Possibly the most boring title ever!

I can't decide if this is unreasonable or not. Personal cards put up at home...anniversary cards between DH and I, DH's first fathers day card (from me)...all with really personal, sentimental messages written in them.

Fair do's they are up on display on the mantle place, but I felt put out that both PIL picked them up and read them. I don't think I have ever done this to anyone else in my life - read obviously personal cards out in someone's home - so was a bit startled by it. Is it unreasonable to be bit WTF, or am I unreasonable since they are up on display?

And just because something's not hidden away, doesn't mean it's "on display" for all and sundry who can't control their curiosity to have a look at. I don't expect to have to hide stuff away every time someone drops in.

No I wouldn't read them, not without asking first anyway.

Bettybat perhaps it depends on how northern you are lol

Yanbu. I would never read cards at someone else's house. It's intrusive and rude.

farside will you adopt me please

If it is on display then IMO it is OK for people to look. If I had something in a card that I didnt want anyone to see then I wouldnt put it out, though I would tend to say things like that rather than writing it in a card.

To clarify, the deeply personal things were acknowledgments of the hard things we've gone through together, and the strength of us now...it's just personal because it isn't anything I'd necessarily want my PIL to know happened, as close as we are and as much as I love them.

YANBU.

Would drive me nuts.

fireice that's what I was thinking!

I look at my mum's. I am really hoping I never see anything "personal" in there as I would then have to bleach my brain, it's unlikely though as most of them are from elderly relatives. Other than that I wouldn't really be interested. My in-laws are nosy card readers, so I would put anything I didn't want them to see away before they came round.

ugh - someone in my family does this - I hate it!

at Sock

Except it is actually on display, put up on a mantlepiece, isn't it? It's not at all like post left lying around, its been put up there for people to look at.

I'd read them, and my family if they're round read ours. I only really have my close friends round to the house and it wouldn't bother me if they read cards. I certainly wouldn't have an issue with parents, siblings having a nosy.

I keep an anniversary card my husband sent me in our bedroom but that was because it was a bit more sentimental than usual and I was a bit scundered putting it up.

We put personal cards like that on the dresser in the bedroom. The ones on the mantelpiece are so dull anyone is welcome to read them! YABU really to leave them out, in my family it is normal to read cards on the mantel, I wouldn't at friends' houses but would at my mum's because they are usually from people I know and she is going to show me them anyway.

YANBU my mil does this too. Actually stands up and announces "I'm going to have a look at your cards now" and reads each and every one of them!

I find it a bit rude and odd. I just don't get why she is interested. Now I keep private ones in our bedroom. Dh writes lots and is quite romantic in his cards and I feel
Like he would not want her reading that. I am a bit more of a "lots of love from..." sort
Of girl!!!

I have to display some of DHs in rather high places. He writes dodgy rhymes.
Fortunately his hand writing is illegible to children and most normal people.

Fortunately my mum isn't nosey, as her brothers writing is even worse and she can read that.

I always feel a bit uncomfortable when visitors (my sisters) make a point of reading our cards.

My dh always writes very heartfelt, personal & loving messages and I don't think he wants anyone other than me to read them. I don't want to hide them though, as he goes to huge efforts to choose something I will love.

I would never read anyone else's cards - I think it's really nosy!

I wouldn't dream of reading other peoples cards - they are there for their benefit not mine. My MIL loves to do this though, she will even read cards out aloud especially the very personal and intimate (not dirty) ones ...and then bleat about how lovely we are together (me and her son)

I do love my MIL but sometimes she is a bit much!

Last year I got my sons mate to print off a very convincing ASBO letter which stated that my eldest son was not allowed to enter the local cinema as he had been caught 'furtling' and we left the letter on the bookcase in an envelope and promptly went on holiday leaving her to look after the pets.

It took a day and a half before we got a frantic phonecall asking what the fuck our eldest son had been up to

Now I know I can't trust her not to go nosing around my house when I go away!

She has probabaly found my vast array of sex toys too I dont think she will mention those

Yanbu and the same thing happened to me recently! I think it was my Mum...I went Oi! That's prvate! I would never read someone's card on a mantlepiece...especially if it was a relationship one! DDs birthday cards are fine to read...she's 4!

Martha I'm northern too! They are not up to READ but to look at! That's why they have pictures.

This thread has been a rather worrying revelation. I was brought up being told it is rude not to read cards on display on the mantlepiece and have been told off on more than one occasion by my Mum for not making the effort to look at and comment on someones cards. Am now worried about how many people I have offended over the years.

I find it scary how often I realise that things which are normal in my family are not universal.

I keep the rude personal cards by my bed.

Normal in our family - I mean, I wouldn't do it if I was at someone's house for a meeting or something, but at my sisters then we'd all read through each others cards, yes.
We would never write 'deep meaningful messages' to each other though. If you do that, and feel (understandably) it's private, then I wouldn't expect them to be on display in the main living room.

I had this situation, it was DH's first father's day and I wrote a soppy card from me and another from DS. MY mum was staying at the time, but DH wanted to put them up on the mantel. I kind of expected she might read them, but hoped not. If she did she never said, so it doesn't really matter. I would never read someone's cards, even if displayed publicly. To me, the front is for everyone to see, and what's inside might well be a private message, none of my business.

PATF that is one brilliant asbo trap story.