to be on here so much as a way of socialising and talking to other adults instead of having a normal life with friends around me?

[soozeedol]

I'm a single parent with 1 DS 11yrs...always been single since splitting from his DD when DS was 5mths old. My DS has SN ...ADHD and ASD and other associated issues and requires my full time attentions and energies, I'd like to have a job but I'm afraid we are getting by on our sponging benefits due to having no child care options and it always being my responsibility to be at meetings which occur most weeks, crisis drop of hat summons and generally can't be far from home even when my DS is in school. I don't get out much and have few friends.
I sound really sad and maybe even a bit pathetic but actually I'm ok for the most part, have some hobbies and things I enjoy. I do have friends but don't see alot of them regularly so my ability to have a chin wag and some adult company is limited and sometimes I can go 3/4 days without any conversation (apart from with myself)! I'm often not even out of my PJ's as I'm mostly not going anywhere so I don't bother
I have just discovered MN and I feel in 3 days I am becoming quite hooked and I'm wandering around putting in my tuppence worth here, there and everywhere...

How dysfunctional am I and what would you suggest...I'm sure I am a common, hidden statistic and there are loads on me's out there....or am I alone as I fear???

your life sounds just perfect with regards to the beach being in close proximity and your description of your days out there. I am very envious. In Birmingham we got to be one of the furthest places from the coast. Scotland is the most beautiful place. I miss it.

Both of our children have their needs but i think the fact my son doesn't have any of his sight makes me so sad, at times. We miss out on lots of activities. I always wanted to be such an active Mother, do stuff withmy child.

I confess, I do not take him on sight walks. He can use a kane but i'm scared to go out as we get stared at.

It is very uncomfortable.

I guess i need to do this, also the weather doesn't present much oppurtunity to start right now.

I feel so shyte i should do more:(

I won't go swimming with him as i'm very very fat.

No breaks away as no cash right now.

I'm a bit of a disorganised, frightened to live mess. But positive in myself about other things.

It is my dream to live by the sea with my son.

solesource...your size is not the matter but how you are feeling is....
you are being unfair to yourself and allowing these worries to overtake the things you would like to do and achieve with your son.
You need to challenge yourself with something and prove to yourself how capable you are
tough love on your own self!
you need support and someone to help motivate you to find your brave self and get outside walking or to the pool...anything you choose
maybe you could take a taxi or bus...out of your area to somewhere you could feel less concerned by people....country park or botanic gardens or something...I don't know really as I don't know your area at all.
Has your GP helped you find any practical support? for you?...befriender/companion maybe...confidence coach or something...I think you should ask about this maybe....

I shall take your good advice and see my GP next week.

I am tough on myself. :(

You're so right.

Things have to get better, much better than this.

You've helped me so much.

When are you off on holiday? :)

Hi snooze. Think you are doing a great job. What about doing some voluntary work? Would get you out and about. You have so much valuable experience- sure start,children 's centre etc? Good luck

beg of july for a week
don't be so hard on yourself though...beating yourself up emotionally isn't the way to go
what about being a great mum with an inbuilt desire to see her son thrive as positively as she can...thats worth so very much and you must remember that...and it's the hardest job in the world to do.
we all have lots of room for improvements but don't forget what you have already achieved...and you yourself have done it alone too....that's no small thing you know....think about your positive's...always...other things come along when you're ready for them x

thanks twentyten... yes I have been thinking about befriending too...maybe young families/ surestart groups, something along these lines...
tbh I see the huge gap for 5-15yrs and families and wonder about trying to get involved with something like befriending/support type work

I do posess an inbuilt desire to help my son be the best he can! I'm a very loving Mum He is very confident and pleasent because of me. Thanks.