to be on here so much as a way of socialising and talking to other adults instead of having a normal life with friends around me?

[soozeedol]

I'm a single parent with 1 DS 11yrs...always been single since splitting from his DD when DS was 5mths old. My DS has SN ...ADHD and ASD and other associated issues and requires my full time attentions and energies, I'd like to have a job but I'm afraid we are getting by on our sponging benefits due to having no child care options and it always being my responsibility to be at meetings which occur most weeks, crisis drop of hat summons and generally can't be far from home even when my DS is in school. I don't get out much and have few friends.
I sound really sad and maybe even a bit pathetic but actually I'm ok for the most part, have some hobbies and things I enjoy. I do have friends but don't see alot of them regularly so my ability to have a chin wag and some adult company is limited and sometimes I can go 3/4 days without any conversation (apart from with myself)! I'm often not even out of my PJ's as I'm mostly not going anywhere so I don't bother
I have just discovered MN and I feel in 3 days I am becoming quite hooked and I'm wandering around putting in my tuppence worth here, there and everywhere...

How dysfunctional am I and what would you suggest...I'm sure I am a common, hidden statistic and there are loads on me's out there....or am I alone as I fear???

If you are ok for the most part,I wouldnt be too concerned.
As far as getting hooked into MN,I would suggest you have 1 day a week when you dont use MN.
I think you would soon then discover if you are addicted to it or not.

I don't think you're alone. Adults need adult interaction and it's not always easily accessible when you have other responsibilities and priorities. I'm in a similar situation to you at the moment and I like the non committal adult interaction on mn, suits me right now.

I'm on here a lot - I learn all sorts of things, and hopefully, occasionally I can chip in a bit of wisdom to do with things I know something about. It's a great way to chat to people, and not abnormal at all - there are 100s of thousands of people doing it, so it can't be that odd!.

YANBU. That's why I'm here

I think you sound very brave actually. You're making the best of what you have and giving your little boy a home he'll look back on for the rest of his life. I wish you lived closer to me!

Nowt wrong with chatting on the Internet. I personally love forums, depending on your mood you can have a light hearted chat or full blown debate - best bit is you can walk away when you've had enough

I get to nosey at other peoples conversations and get introduced to perspectives I wouldn't necessarily come across with rl people. I think it makes me a more rounded, slightly more interesting person to my real friends.

The only time I got a bit too wrapped up was years ago on the old channel four forums, shamefully over big brother , but that at least had a time limit!

darksecret thank you, I don't feel brave but my mum says this to me at times...makes me cry. I fear crying...I can't afford the time off!
Yes..backforgood that's how I've felt too...it's our nature to share and I like listening to others too...seeing others perspectives and it's always good to find a laugh too
It's making such a difference to me, being here...I'm glad I came.

Welcome to MN! I discovered it about 3ish years ago, jumped straight into an AIBU and realised I had found my spiritual home .

If I'm being honest, I like MN more than I like some of my friends. When you think about it, it makes total sense - you can 'talk' to people when you want to, choose the conversations you take part in and there is something for everyone.

It's been very educational for me, as well as entertaining. If you can't get out and about easily, then it's nice to be able to socialise at home.

soozeedol you are looking at this in the wrong way around imho.

What IS wrong with socialising on the internet?
There are plenty of good things about it, and I don't think it right to get sniffy about it.

I've met a lot of great people through the internet on other forums over the years. Including my DH. To me its as good as spending time down the pub - not to mention its healthier if you consider you are less likely to be drinking!

I've always used it as a way to socialise and met people in RL. I don't have kids, so I don't have the same limitations. I find it a good way of finding people with common interests cheaply. I've not done it on MN, but who knows... Even if you don't get something directly from MN, it may point you in a different direction than you would have taken, if it hadn't been there. Exchanges of views is massively important, no matter where you find them.

My friends are scattered to the four corners of the world and locally I don't have friends. And tbh, I'm actually happy and fine with that. I know they are there if I need them. I don't see anything pathetic at all about using the internet. Its just a different way of socialising.

I think if you use it wisely it has enormous potential to open doors in your life rather than just be an emotional crutch. Thats all down to your mindset rather than there being something inherently wrong with internet socialising.

I actually think of it as normal rather than dysfunctional in this day and age.

I love interacting online and MN has been a godsend for me at times, but I also think it's important to cultivate rl interaction too. I know it's easier said than done but I bet you could find something to do with other people whole he is at school, volunteering, mentoring or something. Just to keep your rl communication muscles intact :)

soozeedol the only thing I find worrying about you is that you say you can;t go out because you are waiting for the school to contact you. My DCs school ring me on my mobile and I have that as my first point of contact. You could go out if you did the same. Courses at your local adult education centre, shopping or coffee with friends.

I do understand why you can't work though, not many employers would be understanding about your circumstances.

There is nothing wrong in using MN as a social life. I do to a degree. It is only a problem when people use the internet so much that they chose to do that even when they do have the opportunity to socialise in RL.

I'm in almost the exact same position as you are OP. I miss real people. I'm starting to want to get out there & be shyte on again by users live a little. Frustrating for me.

budge up there, another single parent to join in. possible asd (eek) and not much chance to get out and about as ds does not like to be left... (think massive screaming fit)

playground relationships are about it at the moment whilst I transition from one church to another.

I have sent you a PM sooz :)

yes I'm always on my mobile...I do go out... to library, coffee, sometimes a bowl of soup for lunch somewhere, just to get out of house for a bit, etc or walking with my camera...I just do most of it by myself I suppose.
I'm looking into some classes after the holidays, hoping to join in with something
and meet folk that way too.

I ended up having to leave my last job 3yrs ago apologising because I'd been so unreliable and though my employer had been very good in understanding, it just couldn't go on like it was....
I'm thinking about nursery/or school assistant type work....been a registered child minder and nanny in the past so....maybe

Motivation....that's my biggest problem...getting out there in the first place

YANBU. I work full-time, so I am lucky in that respect, but I don't have friends to socialise with outside work.
Mumsnet is a saviour!

tbh I think I might even feel safer and happier here on-line...in RL I have had a fair amount of abuse, ridicule and insult from so called friends...judging me, my DS, etc
I started a thread about it the other day...one example in a line of similar experiences mainly always due to people's lack of understanding and tolerance

I lost faith for quite a while in people and I def did re-treat from being around ppl in RL...almost reclusive
I know it was unhealthy though and very bad for me but it's a major step to move on from feeling like that

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan....I would be tempted to be guarded with 'playground friendships'....just a bit reserved on any info and not see these friendships too deeply...
Experience tells me these are fickle and quick to turn if something goes wrong and you can't rely on them...not in every case but go lightly I'd say xx

sent you a reply SoleSource x

yanbu. I'm a lone parent and I work so I have to socialise through MN. Let's face it, I'm not going out in the evenings am I!

I work but work on my own MN and facebook are a godsend in the lonely hours of my nightshift!

There are some funny posts on here and also many v sad ones - it certainly makes me count my blessings - plus I can be bossy and knowitall without offending my RL friends.

greataunirene not sure what your post is meaning really....inbetween the lines do you have some sort of opinion you want to share properly...seems a bit suggestive and sweeping a statement of sorts...

do you mean alot of us are hilarious, sad, unlucky, bossy, knowitall's that can't keep friends?
It's saying alot without explaination....are you insulting some or all of us?...and how do you know what you're talking about...do you know anyone personally to say any of this junk?...or am I mis-reading your meanings somehow?

I didn't read any 'between the lines' meaning in Great's post.
Just that MN is a BIG community, and you can do all the things you would in a firendship - laugh together, cry together, support one another, and have a little 'judge' of situations .