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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

can I get arrested

93 replies

Faloola · 23/06/2012 21:07

My 15yrold son has turnt out to be a little shit he does drugs bring people into my house late at night and has treated his gf disgusting.

Tonight I told him I wish I never had him and kicked him out my house. My friend said I can get arrested for kickin him out is this true?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 24/06/2012 13:00

Charity services are great, if the person with the problem will engage with them.

I doubt that he will, yet. Meanwhile he is involved in criminal activity.

scottishmummy · 24/06/2012 13:01

you're way off mark,call local authority and police is the best and most appropriate advice.
local authority have statutory responsibility to assist and assess. yes la is busy,but that doesn't mean don't refer

yes charities exist, with local authority funding and close liaison with local authority. they share information about referrals and caseloads,can't opt out.

Original poster
Faloola · 24/06/2012 13:04

Hello he is home now me and my friend went to get him and bring him home I told him we need to sort this out or he will be going to live with his dad and I know he doesnt want that

I said sorry to him for what I said and explained that I didnt mean it but he pushes me to the edge and I cant take any more

To the person who said I didnt raise him right you dont know us or what his life has been like so dont judge me for it

The school is no good and only send letters home cos he's always late but they have school councellors and he has said he will see them if I dont send him to his dad so I will talk to them tomorro about that

OP posts:
OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 24/06/2012 13:06

Putthat.
Why sick of the call SS?
They have statutory powers that voluntary agencies do not have.
Those voluntary agencies also have a legal duty to involve SS if a child is at risk.
This child is at risk therefore whoever the mother calls, SS will be involved.

Telling someone to call SS is not the same as saying 'he wants stringing up'.
The kid needs help and the mother seems unable to give it at present. She needs support.
That may come from a number of sources but with a 15 yr old taking class As, indulging in other risky behaviour and beating up his girlfriend, that will include SS.
Better them than straight into Youth Justice.

This can be turned around but it's not going to be easy

izzyizin · 24/06/2012 13:08

I sincerely you have taken heed of all of the sensible advice given here and have reported your ds missing to the police and/or made contact with your local authority's out of hours social work team this weekend.

While it is true to say that you will not be subject to any legal consequence for having told your 15yo son to leave the family home, it may be an entirely different matter if something untoward happens to him and it subsequently emerges that you failed to make the police/SS aware that he was at risk.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 24/06/2012 13:08

I am glad he is home.
You need to get help because this isn't going to go away.
Good luck with the counsellors

scottishmummy · 24/06/2012 13:09

good he safe
now you need to contact school tomorrow
yes do it via student counsellors. there are still significant issues to work through. fact school writes to you about time keeping is indicative that something isn't right,and it's been noticed

I genuinely hope you and son can resolve stuff
dont ignore this or scrape by on your own until next flare up

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 24/06/2012 13:10

Faloola, take no notice of those criticizing your parenting. No-one can know your situation unless they've been there with you. I've seen fantastic parents who's child has gone off the rails despite their best efforts and parents who couldn't care less that have raised fantastic kids. I know I've said things to my kids in the heat of the moment that I've later regretted, no-one can quite push your buttons like your own child can. You're human. You're going through a really tough time and it sounds, to me, like you are trying hard to help him. Good luck and take the wise advice of some of the MN'ers out there who know what they are talking about.

Putthatbookdown · 24/06/2012 13:10

I think we need to know more about the background to all this before we can help. How on earth did he get involved with Class A drugs ? Where did he get the money? Putting all this a side what else does the young lad like? Football? It sounds likehe needs someone to pay him some real attention. Does anyone take him anywhere? do things with him?

Birdsgottafly · 24/06/2012 13:11

"The school is no good and only send letters home cos he's always late but they have school councellors and he has said he will see them if I dont send him to his dad so I will talk to them tomorro about that"

Your son is taking class A drugs, you need to speak to them tomorrow and be totally honest. There will be services that he can be refered to and this is an urgent case so there won't be a long wait.

I would insist on a CAF and you need to be prepared to phone the police, if needed, the only way to get across to teens that they cannot carry on is to be tough.

You can phone the police on the none emergancy number and ask advice about what may happen,you will find them surprisingly supportive.

rainbowinthesky · 24/06/2012 13:13

You need a social worker. Sorry but you are failing him if you don't get help. I think if the school have any sense they will do this anyway tomorrow with or without your permission. Of course they are busy, this is the sort of thing they are busy with. You need some good interventions in place and fast if you want to change things around and you need to be open to being part of those changes e.g. family counselling.

rainbowinthesky · 24/06/2012 13:14

Your LA should have a drugs worker[s] that he can be referred to. I would make an appointment with his head of year for tomorrow.

rainbowinthesky · 24/06/2012 13:15

I don't think we can help anymore. The op needs rl advice and help. We can only signpost and this has been done.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 24/06/2012 13:16

He probably got given the coke.
But he will have to pay for it in some way.
That's why he needs help now.

I hope you can get some support. It's a horrible situation.

Putthatbookdown · 24/06/2012 13:20

Oh yes I agree with you but it would be nice to have some other thoughts too It is far better to call the SS yourself than wait till it gets so bad that SOMEONE ELSE does by which time it will be too late....

oiwheresthecoffee · 24/06/2012 13:32

No you wont be arrested. My parents kicked me out several times until social services told them it would be to difficult to place me in care since i was nearly 16 so they had to have me back.

oiwheresthecoffee · 24/06/2012 13:38

Just read he home. I hope you manage to sort this out OP.

curiositykitten · 24/06/2012 13:45

Is he doing drugs or bringing drugs into your house whilst you are working?

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