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Original poster

can I get arrested

93 replies

Faloola · 23/06/2012 21:07

My 15yrold son has turnt out to be a little shit he does drugs bring people into my house late at night and has treated his gf disgusting.

Tonight I told him I wish I never had him and kicked him out my house. My friend said I can get arrested for kickin him out is this true?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/06/2012 21:23

You're posting all this under your friend's name and she's a registered child minder?

I'd get your own account if I were you.

PeaceLoveAndFakeSparklyCrap · 23/06/2012 21:24

Why not call the police if he is that bad?
Tell them what he does, and let them deal with him.

OR call social services and sign away your parental rights, by the sounds of things he will probably be better off in care.

scottishmummy · 23/06/2012 21:24

you'll not get arrested if you ask him to leave
you will need to attend safeguarding meeting etc as he is a minor.under 18yo
kick him out?what do you mean
it would initiate sw,police,school involvement if parental relationship declined to extent he was made to leave familial home

have you contacted local drug service, community police, local authority for support

what family support have you been offered?
this is so dreadfully difficult, do involve professionals get some support fir you,him and family

dont do any hasty decisions

hope this resolves satisfactorily

HecateAdonaea · 23/06/2012 21:24

I'm sorry. You must feel like a total failure as a parent Sad to have raised your child for things to turn out like this.

But children sometimes go off the rails and they can be put back on them! You need help. HE needs help. This means calling people! Getting him some help. Even if you say he is not to come back into your house, you can still organise help for him.

He is your boy. He is your child. He is your responsibility. He didn't wake up this morning like this having gone to bed last night a sweet and loving child. Something went very wrong somewhere and it is not too late to put it right.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 23/06/2012 21:24

You cant sign away your parental rights.

Noqontrol · 23/06/2012 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 23/06/2012 21:25

Cocaine is Class A and the maximum penalty for possession is 7 years in prison or an unlimited fine or both.

You need to inform social services as he is at risk.

SkinnyMarinkADink · 23/06/2012 21:25

Some really nasty ubhelpful comments on here.

OP I am on the belief that you should never make your child homeless. it will onlymake the situation worse.

Your best option here would be to get him back, apologise for the things you have said to him and talk to him on his level.

Are there any issues or reasons to explain his behaviour? Any trauma effecting him?

Has always had an attitude or is it recent?

Your the parent here and its your responsibility to ensure his safety and well being.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 23/06/2012 21:25

That wasnt for the op btw

scottishmummy · 23/06/2012 21:27

call the out of hours number for your local authority social work dept.
call police on,101
he's a vulnerable minor. this needs reported

PissyDust · 23/06/2012 21:30

Does he have some where to go, do you know where your son is?

izzyizin · 23/06/2012 21:31

Your friend is talking out of her nether regions. You won't be arrested for having thrown your ds out of the family home but your ability to parent may come under scrutiny from SS and/or other agencies which may impact on any other dc you may have living at home with you.

What experiences have contributed to your ds turning out to be 'a little shit'? Why is was he ble to bring people into the family late at night? Did you extert your authority and require them to leave?

Telling your ds that you wished you'd never had him is an extremely hurtful thing to say. If he believes that no-one care about him this will undoubtedly have a profound psychological effect on him, and may cause him to rack up his undesirable behaviour.

You and your ds, together with any other family members who have been adversely affected by the breakdown of your relationship with your ds, need help to work through the issues that have caused this sorry state of affairs.

Do you know where he is likely to have gone? Do you anticipate that he'll return home later tonight or tomorrow?

scottishmummy · 23/06/2012 21:37

now he is missing you need to take action.focus
call out of hours at local authority social work dept
contact police,they have specialist officers.give description clothes worn,circumstances of tonight
start call his pals,known haunts
try son mobile, look his fb

this is significant event.

Birdsgottafly · 23/06/2012 21:39

"He smokes some weed and does coke"

He is a 'Child In Need', i would advise you to call SS and tel lthem that you have asked him to leave.

Is this shock tactics or are you going to have him back?

If he is fined you are responsible for paying it, unless you declare that he isnot resident at your address.

You have left him vulnerable.

It is time to make firm decisions.

Is how it affects you, your only concern?

Original poster
Faloola · 23/06/2012 21:41

He's gone to a friends house but his friend is worse then he is.

I shouldnt of said I wish I never had him but I cant take any more I have 3yr old twins and he is ruinin this family

He dont speak to his dad but I kno he could sort him out if I asked him but I dont really wanna ask him
Im scared to call the social if they take my kids away im not a bad mum but this is bad and I always had trouble with him I know he's got problems and I dunno how to help him any more

OP posts:
LineRunner · 23/06/2012 21:45

Wy don't you want to ask his dad, if his dad can help? Isn't this about your son?

JumpingThroughHoops · 23/06/2012 21:45

He can't have suddenly turned like this? there has to be a history and I guess that has also manifested at school? What services and agencies are already involved?

Birdsgottafly · 23/06/2012 21:46

"He's gone to a friends house but his friend is worse then he is"

So your son is in danger, what are you going to do next?

scottishmummy · 23/06/2012 21:47

right.deep breath
you need help
do tell school and sw dept. what's going on, frankly the school probably has concerns.doing drugs well he'll be wacked anyway,poor attention , behavioural issues,attendance,etc

ask for assesment and acknowledge the difficulties. this wont go away.likely it will flare up again

you need to work with professionals
plan a strategy
a safe way to support son(he's still minor)

DamselInTornDress · 23/06/2012 21:48

If you know where he is but you also know the boy is worse than your son is, now is your moment to get social services involved. They will assist you and not judge you. But you will be judged if you don't call for help and things go from bad to worse.

scottishmummy · 23/06/2012 21:49

your son is still vulnerable and at risk
this needs action
call out of hours talk to duty social worker

Birdsgottafly · 23/06/2012 21:50

Will he be going to school on Monday? The way that it stands, he won't and then 'the system' will click into place anyway.

If you don't report him missing, or what has happened by Monday then you will have to answer questions, as to why not.

Is he safe tonight to give you thinking time?

HecateAdonaea · 23/06/2012 21:50

You ned to get help. You don't want to find yourself in this situation x2 in 12 years! You need to understand what went wrong in order to ensure that it doesn't happen again with your twns and to stand any chance of putting things right with your son. This means getting some outside help, examining the situation. Understanding how your son got to this point. Making any changes it is within your power to make. You have to make that call.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 23/06/2012 21:50

I know you are worried about SS but they are your source of support here.

If your son is bringing class A drugs into the house and there is domestic violence going on in your house your younger children can be seen 'to be at risk of significant harm'.

You need to get your son help
You need to protect your younger children.

I know it is hard and you feel at the end of your tether but this isnt going to go away.

Report him missing.
Ask for help because of his violent behaviour.
If you dont do it whilst he is 15 you will not have a chance once he gets older and SS will not be interested.

You need to do it. You are his mum and regardless of how horribly he is behaving you owe it to him to try. If nothing works, you have tried.

scottishmummy · 23/06/2012 21:53

no.thats not right to say local authority won't be interested later on if not reported now
each case considered on it's needs

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