can I get arrested

[Faloola]

My 15yrold son has turnt out to be a little shit he does drugs bring people into my house late at night and has treated his gf disgusting.

Tonight I told him I wish I never had him and kicked him out my house. My friend said I can get arrested for kickin him out is this true?

I'm sorry I was rude, but really this is your last chance to try and do something about it. SSD are not ogres, I know you are afraid but you need to do what's right by your son. To not do anything is irresponsible and could put your son at risk of serious harm. I know you're tired but doing nothing is not the answer. Ssd are not going to slam you for asking for help. Quite the opposite.
If you think his dad can help then why can't you ask him? You might not get on with him, but you need to do everything you can in the best interests of your child. Please do something before its too late.

you can't ignore this
it won't go away
he'll tell school pals anyway this will get to be known

Now is the time to act, whilst he is under 16 and the LA have a duty of care towards him.

Scottish - see Bird's post.
That is what I meant.
SS will not get involved with an 18 year old and things can run on long enough for an 17 year old to become 18 before anything is done.

It is very hard to get a child accomadated past a certain age. It is pretty hard at 15. But you have the law on your side.

If you are worried what social services might 'do', then consider this.

What do you think will happen when they discover you threw out your 15 year old son and did nothing?

Compared to a call to them along the lines of please help us

??

Call them.

Bumping this op. HAve you called social services yet? Please do so. Everyone on this thread is right - you have no choice. Monday morning the school will know everything from his friends and you need to be proactive before they come to you.

From SS perspective you are protecting your other children by not having the drugs in the house. He's not on the streets, OP knows where he is staying. But agree phone SS & explain the situation, say where he is.

how are you this morning?

The safety of your three year old twins come first, it's isn't fair for them to be subjected to a violent drug user (even if he is only 15) and those he's bringing home late at night. Good on you for throwing him out.

I don't think you were being mean by telling him that you regretted having him, firstly I don't blame you, secondly, he needs to understand that his behaviour is reprehensible and will make people hate him. The beating of his girlfriend is what would concern me most, many of us did drugs when we were younger, that is usually a passing phase but violence toward women is not a phase, it is disturbing that he has not learnt that you don't hit women/girls and he doesn't care about the damage he is causing. That type of person only gets worse. Maybe an older man giving him a taste of his own medicine might give him cause for a rethink but there's nothing you can do. He doesn't respect women so he's not going to listen to you and he may get violent if you tried to reform him at home.

Maybe if you had raised him differently, he wouldn't be the way he is now but it's too late for that, he is what he is. We all go through bad patches as teenagers but this is very different. He is a girlfriend beater, they never change.

I doubt you can be arrested for protecting your younger children, you always could deny throwing him out and say he ran away but you don't want him back if you needed you cover your arse. Do whatever is best for the twins.

what a spectacularly useless and uninformed post
like a random woman at the bus stop going on about broke en britain

I'm finding this whole thread quite puzzeling....you don't seem to have made contact with anyone about these growing problems and where is his school and what issues are going on there?....I find it very hard to see why there has been no interventions and you are at this point all by yourself.....? If things are so bad it must have taken some time time to get to this point

Have you not had his school supporting you and him before now?...drugs and under the influence can't be ignored....if he's that badly behaved and taking these drugs, etc they would know about it and be seeking ways to help/support etc and if he's been truanting, again they would be in contact with you and appropriate support agencies...

Yet you are on here?...and the picture is very blurry....could you expand the back story on this....how you got to the point that you could feel this way about your son?...I'm hoping it has been said in awful/unreasonable anger and you don't really mean what you have said to him?

I have to say that reading your posts I am quite shocked that you appear to be concerned for yourself, rather than your son. The two sources of help that are available - his father or SS - you do not want to contact. It comes across as 'me, me, me'. Forgive me if that is not the case, but I read it that way.

I do not mean to be harsh, this is obviously a terribly difficult situation and I understand that you want to protect your younger children. However, throwing your son out onto the streets, rather than ask for help or find him somewhere to go (his father for instance) seems a very cruel thing to do.

As others have said, there are organisations that can help your son - in many ways it does not matter which one, as if inappropriate they can refer your son onto the correct one. I also understand your reluctance to call SS because of your little ones. BUT it is very likely SS could become involved anyway, and the fact you have abandoned your son without seeking help will NOT look good. It is surely better for all your sakes to contact them yourself.

I wish you all well - especially your son, for whom being abandoned cannot help with his problems. We all say terrible things at times, we are human, but now is the time to make him realise you do NOT wish you had had him and get him (and you) the help and support he so desperately needs.

I wish you luck.

I am seeing someone at the end of their tether.
That is all.
Cant judge the rest without background.
I know it sounds dreadful but living with an agressive teenager can drive yo to desperation.

I used to think things couldn't happen overnight. The don exactly but you can spend lot of time trying to address problems and seemingly overnight You find yourself in a terrible place.

It is also notoriously difficult to access help for difficult teenagers.

You can hate a child Nd love them at the same time.

Don't forget that a lot of teenagers are pushing to be kicked out because t think they will get a flat.

and the award goes to bobbledunk with the most ridiculous post of the week.

If you are not willing to have him in your home, you need to provide an alternative (and pay his keep).

It's your responsibility as you have PR

I'm struck silent...bobbledunk!!!!...I can't believe you are real....what a corker you are....jeez it's a worry there are people like this...reallly??????

Maybe an older man giving him a taste of his own medicine might give him cause for a rethink but there's nothing you can do.

How on earth would that work?

it was the..... 'maybe if you'd raised him differently, he wouldn't be like this but it's too late for that now' !!!!...!!!

OP you have today to decide what you are going to do and how you are going to handle this, because come tommorrow morning he has to be in school.

You either report him at this mans house and go to the school tomorrow and ask to speak to pastoral support, explain what is happening and they start a CAF and referals. Put bounderies in place and be prepared to phone the police, if they are crossed, in other words, tough love.

Or contact your son, tonight, if no positive answers are forthcoming, then contact the police as he is in a house that allows him to take class A drugs and is at risk because of this.

Your son isn't a right off, teens can be turned around if everyone works together to do so.

You are responsible for him not going to school and not reporting it though, so either way, come tonight your other children are affected by this.

Not reporting a missing child is a safeguarding concern and your ability to parent your twins could come into question.

Your son is a vulnerable person who you are now not safeguarding, even though he is behaving as a 'little shit' (your words).

A person with Parental Responsibility for a child has the legal duty to protect, house and provide for them until they are 18 (or 16 if they marry). So theoretically you could be prosecuted

So theoretically when my 'mother' kicked me out when I was 16, I could have reported her to the police?

as hard as it feels,you need to act
youre probably scared ,angry and wondering the what ifs

get a plan
inform school, and call police.this won't go away. most likely your son will tell someone. realistically it's not an option to ignore this. your son is a minor with significant social and behavioral issues. now he's not the first adolescent to be like this and won't be the last, and teams are experienced in dealing with this

do participate in meetings and openly discuss what's been going on
maybe write things down to help you focus

I hope things resolve for you both

"So theoretically when my 'mother' kicked me out when I was 16, I could have reported her to the police?"

No what it means that until 18 there is a duty of care towards you, so the LA becomes responsible for housing you, as you are deemed as vulnerable. Funds can be found so that you can access education and food etc.

Yes I think there are some nasty messages on here too Also I am sick of the call the police, social services advice that is always given here: everyone knows these services are busy. If you do not fancy the Statutory services there may be a voluntary/charitable service in your area We have one for youngsters Cab,SS should be able to tell you their name Could his school help?
What is going on there? He can still change if given the right help as he is young enough