to think my newborn DS IS bloody hungry!

[CosmicBurp]

Fed up of my MIL, DM, Auntie etc, all sticking their oars in. 'He just wants comfort', 'He's got wind'. If that's the case, why has he just latched on and fed for another 10 minutes? Just because you don't want me getting my norks out again/want to keep cuddling him.
It's actually painful to watch people jiggling him up and down whilst he gets more and more riled up and I'm sat there like a lemon going 'Ok Cosmicburplet, shall we feed you now? Shall we? Is it that time again?'
It's a bloody struggle to get him back, then there's the surprise when all is well once he's on the boob.
None of them has heard of cluster feeding because we were all bottlefed in my family/ DH's family. Thank God for Mumsnet, because nobody told me it was normal for little babies to want to feed this regularly.
Sorry. I've finished now:)

Aaahh, I remember this. Got to the point that I'd actually just get my boob out before the baby was passed back. Sped things up somewhat

you need to be more direct

"oh i'll feed him now" and then just take baby back.

Ah, fond memories. I especially loved the bit where my FIL complained that I had had the baby upstairs for AGES feeding him, and why was it taking SO LONG after half an hour. (My FIL is actually very nice, he's just mentally in love with DS, and wants to play with him/cuddle him etc all the time).

Just be firm, and hope that your DS does a giant explode-a-poo on their lap. That should get him handed back to you pretty sharpish.

This is massive advantage of all family living far away, relatives can't do this to much! Mind you DP made up for it by taking DS1&2 on a booby hunt 'so I could get myself comfy'. I like Kittys solution, sadly this didn't work with DP, he just left me sitting there with my tit out!
Yes you need to more rude assertive.

Good idea kitty and very direct. Perhaps I could delicately rest one on their chair arm until they get the message :o
All that passive aggressive talking at the baby nonsense you get in return gets to me as well 'You're can't be hungry again can you Burplet?'
Sometimes they're lovely and have great advice, but I've finally learned to trust my own instincts!

YANBU, at all but from the other side it's incredibly boring when babies do nought but feed from the boob and I just want to cuddle them to bits

All very frustrating - I know exactly how you feel! Some people really find it hard to accept how little tummies need little and often. And they can take forever to feed, especially if they doze off during! Can you get him alone for a while and send them all home to make you some delicious meals to be brought back later - much later and save you cooking for a while?

kitty5824 Brilliant!

Hmmm let me think, all the health benefits/convenience/food that breast feeding give versus a bored adult wanting a cuddle. No contest.

Good for you OP!

This is the reason for a babymoon. Chuck them all out and get into bed!

Have patience Cockwomble! Plenty of time for that when they're older and wiping their well-chewed lunch on your trousers :o
Gin I wish! If I ever go visit a friend who's had a baby I will take a bag of delicious treats for mum and dad and sod the dinky little socks. Baby will go straight back to mum when it whimpers and I'll leave my stinky perfume at home so baby doesn't smell like a tart's boudoir for days.
It's amazing what can wind you up post-natally isn't it?

You sound so considerate - all those things you mention are definitely important. :)

Ah well, I had this with newborn ds1 who was also exclusive breast fed on demand. My former MIL and her sisters (who when gathered together created the distinct impression that you were having a post-natal consultation with the Witches of Endor) did the infernal jiggling thing, accompanied by passive aggressive comments made to the baby. "Poor little chap, I expect all that milk has made you windy, hasn't it?"

Now I knew precisely buggerall about babies but what my instinct told me was that I'd take my lead from the baby. If he wanted to feed then he wanted to feed. And of course, my MIL and the rest of the coven had brought their children up in the 1950s which seems to have been a particularly brutal time to be a baby. All their babies were, allegedly, happy to wait a clear 4 hours between feeds right from birth. But then all their babies were wheeled down to the bottom of the garden in their prams (often in blizzards) to have the prolonged airings that were considered essential in those days. So I rather doubt that any objections to the 4 hourly regime were registered.

What I did (between gritted teeth) was to smile and nod. When told I'd "spoil" ds1 I tended to reply along the lines of "well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, eh?". Because attempting to disprove their "expert" knowledge just lead to prolonged and pointless discussion. It's a technique I highly recommend.

YANBU. My MIL is very nice but wouldn't just hand DS back when he got upset. She'd sit there jiggling him and rubbing his back, as I suppose she had done with her babies.

The worst comment I had though was from my friend, who is normally lovely but not at all clued up on BFing, she thinks all BF babies are starving and need a bottle asap. As I started feeding DS for the umpteenth time on a visit to hers she finally snapped 'Will you stop feeding that baby!' I was really embarrassed.

Yes that generation do seem crazily obsessed with STOPPING us from feeding our babies don't they?

It's actually quite scary, the ultimate goal seems to be how little you can get away with feeding babies.

Yes we know your babies went four hours between feeds but I have since read that a formula feed for a tiny baby is the equivalent of a massive Sunday dinner for an adult.

I remember my sister being force fed her bottles to ensure the required four hours between feeds .

You are completely right and I love the name cosmicburplet. A teeny bit of me hopes this is your baby's real-life name.

My worst feeding advice was from my MIL's cousin, who asked if I was "still" feeding through the night when my son was about 4 weeks old. When I said I was, she told me to do a week of only giving him water when he cried in the night, then after that to ignore him and he'd soon learn not to cry. Apparently that worked with all four of her children.

I nodded politely and have avoided her ever since.

Oh God the perfume thing used to drive me insane. I found it really upsetting when WilsonJr smelled of anything else other than him, me and DH. Still do tbh. I still sniff him when I get a cuddle but very subtly because now he is 6 and he thinks its weird

Oh another thread where BF Mothers sit and knock FF Mothers to make themselves feel happier or something.

My ex MIL smoked, though always out of the house when dc were there to be fair but the dc and every item we took in the house came out smelling like a mix of her perfume and fags, absolutely hated it!

it's worse when they stand around holding her and going "oh, she's going for food, i know what you want, oh you won't find anything in there!" when she's obviously hungry instead of just bloody passing her back to me !

Oh I forgot we are never supposed to talk about breastfeeding in case we upset the poor diddums that exercised THEIR personal choice to formula feed and then STILL get the hump if anyone dares prefer to breastfeed.

Of course you ccan talk about BF Frost but not if it means crowing shite about "Did you know one bottle of formula is lke HUGE sunday roast"

That's just stupid.

Oh god I remember this so well drove me insane, they thought they were giving me a break but all I wanted to do was feed my hungry baby.

It's not just formula feeders who don't get it though. My MIL BF but to a very strict schedule of every four hours, ten minutes per boob all on the advice of her doctor, although she said she was never able to make it to four hours because DH cried so much. I find it astounding that the medical profession basically used to advise mothers to half-starve their children

And, knocking perfume wearers. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE PERFUME WEARERS?