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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to press charges on an 11/12 year old?

94 replies

Ruudiluca · 20/06/2012 17:15

I was sitting in my living room yesterday and the school on my road had finished for the day. All the kids were walking past my house to get to the bus stop.
I looked up and saw 2 boys looking into my window laughing and the next minute my living room window smashed.
I ran outside to get a look at them and a lovely group of kids came running up to me and gave me the names of the boys that done it.
I rang the school who were helpful and urged me to ring the police, so I called 101 and an officer came round to visit yesterday evening. He looked at the damage and said he would pass it on to the officer that is linked with the school.
Today I have got a call from the school telling me the boys have been "spoken" to and have been punished. When I discussed about who was going to pay for my window (i.e. parents) they were shocked (as though they thought I would pay) and quickly ended to conversation.
So now I am mad because I have been left with a triple glazed window that was replaced not even a month ago and it looks like I will be shelling out for it AND the kids that done it have just been "spoken" to.

AIBU to contact the officer in charge of the school and ask to press charges on the kids because what they have done is criminal damage. If the boys had come and apologized and their parents had offered to pay, I admit I would not be thinking of doing this.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ruudiluca · 20/06/2012 17:38

To the poster who was worried about the boys that helped me identified them being bullied, i am really worried about that too :(. But bless one of the lads he stayed behind and helped me sweep up the glass from my drive.

Also I don't know why they targeted me but I do know it was completely random because my family keep themselves to themselves and my son is at primary so he would not know they kids. But I do know that there have been a string of vandalism, e.g. broken wheelie bins and wing mirrors kicked off cars that have happened on our street for a few months. They always happen on a school day around the time the kids get out of school.

OP posts:

BalloonSlayer · 20/06/2012 17:40

How did they manage to smash a triple glazed window?

I thought even double glazed were impossible to break, if say there was a fire.

Noqontrol · 20/06/2012 17:44

I would ask the police to press charges or start court proceedings yourself. Don't see why you should have to pay for it.

ChasingSquirrels · 20/06/2012 17:45

presumably there is the civil (damages) side and the criminal side - I would consider what redress you actually want, and maybe post in legal.

Original poster

Ruudiluca · 20/06/2012 17:46

My triple glazed is a double glazed but with a third pane that comes across like a sliding door iyswim? It's because I live right by an airport so when it is our area's turn to have the flight path we can close the third pane and it blocks out sound.
They have smashed the double glazed (the rock was huge) and has shattered the first pane completely and cracked the second.

OP posts:

AKMD · 20/06/2012 17:46

YANBU That is dreadful. Yes, I would be pressing charges and I might consider dropping them if the money for replacing the glass arrived on my doorstep in the next 48 hours.

PandaWatch · 20/06/2012 17:47

I would push for the police to take it further. What if the next time they lob a brick through someone's window it hits someone?

PandaWatch · 20/06/2012 17:48

I reckon if the boys who told you thought there would be repercussions they would have scarpered too. I wouldn't worry about that.

fuzzpig · 20/06/2012 17:49

That's shocking. YANBU at all. A 'talking to' for breaking a window FFS. Not to mention somebody could have got badly hurt.

Offering the pay or be prosecuted thing would be good. It might serve as a warning to others at the school if there is a big vandalism problem in the area.

ChuffMuffin · 20/06/2012 17:50

YANBU! They need to learn that if you do stupid shit like smashing a window then there are serious consequences! Why should you have to pay to reglaze a triple glazed window when it wasn't your fault it was broken?

TBH if the officer + school refuse to do anything with regards to the cost I'd tell your insurers to claim off the school.. bet they'll sort something out sharpish then!

darthsillius · 20/06/2012 17:55

This happened to me and a neighbour (same group of kids walking up road). A neighbour saw what school but couldn't identify kids. I reported to Police for a crime number and informed school. I had to pay excess on my insurance and for 5 years I have to keep mentioning it when renewing insurance. Such a pain.

AdventuresWithVoles · 20/06/2012 17:55

it was totally premeditated.

Look, this may be a separate problem, but sounds like OP lives on a street with plenty of other houses & only hers was targetted. I would seriously want to know why.

I don't see how anyone will pay for OP's new window unless she uses the threat of charges to threaten the parents into paying.

Suing a child for damage is possible, I think.

AlmostAHipster · 20/06/2012 17:55

Of course they should pay. I knew a boy who damaged a mirror in a museum on a school trio and the parents had to pay for a replacement. Ok, so this was during school hours but even so children need to learn that actions have consequences.

ENormaSnob · 20/06/2012 17:56

I would definitely take it further.

2shoes · 20/06/2012 17:56

if you claim on your house insurance you will probably end up paying more next year.
so I would press charges unless the pay.

JumpingThroughHoops · 20/06/2012 17:57

TBH if the officer + school refuse to do anything with regards to the cost I'd tell your insurers to claim off the school

It's got nothing to do with the school. Loco parentis ends at chucking out time.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/06/2012 17:59

Can I also just say that is my child did this even though I would happily pay I'd also be entirely happy if my child was prosecuted for it.

Actions have consequences - they know that.

SaraBellumHertz · 20/06/2012 18:02

You don't get to decide to "press charges" or not and the reality is the police will almost certainly not (and even if they do the chances of the CPS pursuing it are minimal...)

thekidsrule · 20/06/2012 18:02

do you know what the punishment from school was

if it was me id be finding out where the boys lived and going round there,but thats me and probably not the best course of action

find it strange that some posters dont think the boys should be prosecuted,it was hardly an accident by the sounds of it

Original poster

Ruudiluca · 20/06/2012 18:04

Adventurewithvoles thank you for that link. I know you probably dont mean it like this but are you saying that I must have done something to have someone smash my window? I honestly hand on heart have not done a thing, I have a primary aged son and a small baby and I keep myself to myself. My husband is hardly here because he works long hours. I believe that I was just the unlucky one on my street tbh, that and I live next to the road works that were taking place (which is where I think they got the rock).

OP posts:

thekidsrule · 20/06/2012 18:05

keep the rock for fingerprints

Moominhunter · 20/06/2012 18:05

YANBU. Press charges and take to small claims court. Actions have conserquences and if this is a first offence you can bet it will not happen again... Hopfully!

Original poster

Ruudiluca · 20/06/2012 18:07

thekidsrule they were spoken to and I think given an after school detention (or that may have been a suggestion of the punishment). I have been talked to by pastoral care and not the head master or deputy which has also got on my wick a bit as well if I'm honest.

OP posts:

Frontpaw · 20/06/2012 18:09

If it was my son, I would offer to pay for the damage (and ground him for ever).

How is 'a talking to' going to make them think before the act again? What if you'd popped your baby in its moses basket beside the window before the missile was lobbed?

Stupid little sods - what exactly did they think would happen to a window if a rock was thrown? Did they think you would stand at the door, wave a fist, yelling grrrrr, whilst they legged it up the road going 'teehee'? How can a 11/12 year old not be able to consider the outcome of such an action?

thekidsrule · 20/06/2012 18:10

poor you i hate to say it but your kids could of been near the window (heaven forbid)

i see no difference in this act than the dumb idiots that not that long ago throw a large rock of a bridge and smashed a car windscreen

they knew what they were doing

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