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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be amazed at people going to church

615 replies

Hullygully · 20/06/2012 15:19

I really didn't think anyone still did the whole church on Sunday thing (this is not meant rudely, am just genuinely amazed).

Why do you go?

Don't you go out dancing and drinking on Sat and have a terrible hangover?

Or don't you want to have a lie-in with the papers?

Do you have roast dinner after?

Where do you live?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hullygully · 20/06/2012 21:24

I don't know the bible Claire, only the small bits the dc have to know for re lessons...

I don't know why you are being hostile. I have no beef or agenda, I am interested to learn about stuff I don't know about. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to.

OP posts:
StepOutOfSpring · 20/06/2012 21:24

I feel very sad to read that there are people who reject people as potential friends purely because of their religious beliefs. It's the first time I have seen it in writing but I have felt for a long time it must be true. Honestly Lucie and others, we don't have two heads.

Jesus said "love your enemies" and by this he means be tolerant and reach out to those who are not similar to you at all. We all have our humanity in common.

ClaireBunting · 20/06/2012 21:25

I'm mad, remember.

Original poster
Hullygully · 20/06/2012 21:26

Oh you're cross...ok

OP posts:
thanksamillion · 20/06/2012 21:27

Been here for 4.5 years (E Europe), 2 years before at college doing theology/cross cultural studies (actually DH studied, I went to some lectures and had babies).

We work with the local church but mainly run community projects like a kind of meals on wheels programme for elderly people, after schools clubs for kids falling behind at school, holiday clubs, we built/opened a youth centre, we try to help young people to find/create work, support families etc.

We do this because we believe that Jesus called us to show His love and the best way we can do this is to be loving to the community around us (not sure that makes sense but it's late here!). We don't discriminate in who can take part in projects - they are very much for the whole community and we don't ram religion down people's throats. If they ask why we're here we tell them.

ClaireBunting · 20/06/2012 21:27

Not at all. More amused than anything.

My advice is that if you really want to learn about the Christian faith is to do an Alpha Course. It will tell you everything you want to know.

madhairday · 20/06/2012 21:28

My friends usually do find out about my faith fairly early on due to the nature of dh's work Grin It also tends to come up in conversation, and I like to know about what they think too - but if they are an atheist, it does not make me want to cross them off my friends list. I don't get this at all. Yes, good friends can be like minded people, but there can be like-mindedness in various different ways. Life would be somewhat tedious if we all thought exactly the same....

Hully you ask what people with faith think about people with no faith. Hard to answer this without generalising. Mostly I wish people could know God because I think God rocks and there is freedom in knowing God. But I don't think they're delusional or nuts, and I don't believe I have the right to shove anything at them, either. If they want to talk, fine. Mostly I just take people for who they are, and become friends with people I like. I don't have a little tick list or excel spreadsheet in my head.

CrikeyOHare · 20/06/2012 21:28

I've had to stop discussing religion altogether with my believing friends. I think what they believe is utterly ridiculous - although I don't think they are personally. Was it Johann Hari who said..."I respect you too much to respect your silly beliefs" (or something like that). I don't respect their beliefs and pretending to would be dishonest, so the matter is simply not discussed.

I don't think I could be friends with an evangelical, creationist type - but there are mercifully few of those around in this country at least, and I don't personally know any.

Original poster
Hullygully · 20/06/2012 21:29

thanks - I didn't know missionaries worked in places with the same religion, I thought they went and converted. Is it about spreading the religion more widely?

And thanks for answering.

OP posts:
DeWe · 20/06/2012 21:29

Hully, you can come with me to church if you like and ask all the questions you like over Sunday lunch (slightly late, done by use of the oven timer)

For friendships, I don't think it matters what religion people are as long as they don't mock others' beliefs. You can have any faith, or nothing, but you can still be a person I get on with. You can be a fantastic Christian but I still find you hugely irritating. BUT if you mock my beliefs then I would withdraw from spending time with you.

I'm happy to debate, agree to disagree, you can try and pick holes if you're happy to listen to my answer and accept that sometimes my answer is "I don't know".

From my point of view, being a Christian has led into friendships with people I would never have come across. Outside of church most of the people I meet are mothers of children similar ages, or doing same activities as mine. In church I have made great friendships with people of ages from teens up to a lovely lady who must be coming up for 103. On the face of it, often all we have in common is our faith, but when we chat and get to know each other we can have pleasure in each others' company. I'm not terribly social, so I appreciate that others may well meet a broader mix in other places, but I wouldn't have.

Original poster
Hullygully · 20/06/2012 21:29

claire - do you have to believe to do a course?

OP posts:
madhairday · 20/06/2012 21:30

I luff you thanksamillion :)

MamaMary · 20/06/2012 21:30

Agree. If you're really so curious about the Christian faith, have you actually picked up a Bible? Or it's online - free - try biblegateway.com. NIV is a good version. Start with the gospels. That's the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

AKMD · 20/06/2012 21:31

See, it IS very interesting. Those with faith are saying they are more open-minded and tolerant of different belief/non-beliefs than those without.

What is that about?

Plenty of atheists have asked me about my faith and have dismissed it as stupid or a crutch or delusional or illogical or... Christianity teaches its followers to be respectful to those around them and the church I attend in particular is very hot on never, never criticising or belittling someone else's faith. I would never be as offhandedly contemptuous towards an atheist's position as I have generally experienced atheists are to mine.

Original poster
Hullygully · 20/06/2012 21:31

I've read Karen Armstrong's biography of the bible, I've read a lot about it, but not the bible itself

OP posts:
ClaireBunting · 20/06/2012 21:32

When I used to run my church's babysitting circle, I was very grateful for the atheists we had on it (about 30%). Most of my social life when my DCs needed babysitters consisted of church events and get-togethers where church family babysitters were all in the same boat. It was good to be able to call upon those who weren't coming to the same party.

ClaireBunting · 20/06/2012 21:33

No, not an Alpha course. It is designed for complete newcomers and simply curious.

madhairday · 20/06/2012 21:34

No Hully you don't need to believe to do an Alpha course. It is run precisely for people who are unsure, questioning, atheist, agnostic, whatever. Unfortunately there are some more ... earnest branches of the church which perhaps give it a bad name and cause it to be associated with brainwashing and creepy people, but in most cases it's just chat over some dinner and wine and gives you the opportunity to ask questions. In my experience anyway.,

festivalwidow · 20/06/2012 21:34

Why do you go?
Always have (apart from in my 20s when I was figuring things out). I like the community and the theory of spiritual reflection: though in practice the being reflective bit tends to come in fits and starts in between chasing after DD/

Don't you go out dancing and drinking on Sat and have a terrible hangover?
Hah! I have a 2 year old. Grin

Or don't you want to have a lie-in with the papers?
See above. I would love to have a lie-in (ever) with the papers, but the service doesn't start till 11 anyway so getting up for mass is less the issue than a lively child who believes the day starts at 6:30am.

Do you have roast dinner after?
In the evening, if we particularly want a roast.

Where do you live
South-East

Original poster
Hullygully · 20/06/2012 21:35

I might go.

I'll think about it.

Have to go, thanks all, it's been most interesting.

OP posts:
Metabilis3 · 20/06/2012 21:36
  1. Because I like it
  2. Of course not
  3. I would love to have a lie in but then I'd miss mass. I often have a lie in on Saturday though.
  4. Never. I'm a vegan, rest of the family are veggies. We eat our main meal in the evening anyway. on Sundays we have the lunch of champions. Toast.
  5. South west.
thanksamillion · 20/06/2012 21:37

Thanks MHD Smile but I really have to go to bed now as it's v late here.

EchoBitch · 20/06/2012 21:38

As i said earlier,i am an Atheist but while i may disagree with people with religion i don't tend to discuss it with them.

Why would i want to be rude about it,i just don't happen to agree but it doesn't bother me that the DC were taught it at school,it played a massive part in all our histories and i love History.

Same with the monarchy,can't abide that it's still here but i love knowing the History,it's part of all our heritage and we should really learn from it even though we never seem to.

stillawake · 20/06/2012 21:39

Hully, I was a mormon missionary. I don't find what you've said offensive, and don't expect you to agree with my beliefs, but wouldn't mind answering a couple of questions.

There are missionaries for our church that work with members, those that proselyte, and some that do humanitarian service.

ClaireBunting · 20/06/2012 21:43

Within Anglicanism, if I understand it correctly, there is a distinction between mission and evangelism. Mission is basically about drawing near to the weaker or more vulnerable members of society and making their lives easier. Evangelism is telling others about Jesus. Sometimes the two are inseparable, but it is quite common for these activities to be discrete.