To kick up a fuss at school tomorrow.

[rmm]

i picked dd1 up at school today, and she has a massive graze on her nose, upper lip, lip and chin. Her left cheek was swollen and she had the beginning of a black eye.

Tbh she looked like she'd been in a brawl.

When I asked her what had happened she got teary and just wanted to go home.
Her regular teacher wasn't around and there was a sub, who is really not a great teacher. When she saw my expression the teacher casually mentioned that there was a note in dd folder, but offered no other explanation

I am really upset. I know that fallings part of growing, and they did applied some ice. But this incident happened very early today (before break from what I gather)

Dd has a massive swelling on her cheek, lip and chin and was in pain for the majority if the day. She's a really strong little girl and doesn't complain easily so didn't make a fuss

The school has a policy not to administer any children's brufen without permission, but they never contacted me to ask if they should give her a dose or if I would like topic her up.

So wibu to go in and complain very loudly to the class teacher? not about the actually falling part, but how they handled the situation after that?
Seeing my little girl's face so badly scraped and swollen and the fact that she was in pain unnecessarily is breaking my heart so my judgement might be a little off.

YANBU, just because she did not make a fuss does not meant she didn't warrant attention. The swelling should have been alarming enough for them to call you. I broke my wrist at school when I was 9 and I was left holding it and ignored by the teacher as I was 'being brave'. I was even told off for catching and throwing the netball one handed.

With a big graze like that I would expect to see an accident report signed by them, including what they did to make her feel more comfy for you to sign at the least.

If you fell down 2 steps at work and grazed your face etc, you'd expect an accident report to be filled out, for people to make sure you're ok and to check that where you fell isn't inherently unsafe. Why should it be different for a child.....because we expect the. To be clumsy?! I hope your DD starts to feel better soon.

I would speak to them about it definately, I broke my nose falling off a bike aged 4 at nursery, I cried briefly then got on with the rest of the day. By 3pm I had 2 livid black eyes and my nose was so swollen I was going cross eyed. My mother went batshit with nursery before taking me to a&e.

Yanbu. A 6yr old with a nasty bang on the face or head - they should have called you. How can they think a child is fine when her injuries are so noticable? Hope your dd is feeling better soon rmm.

If I were your dd's class teacher, I'd be furious that the supply teacher or the first aider hadn't rung to inform you after such a fall. yes you should go to the school, you deserve an apology and some people need to be spoken to about this. At my school we will always call the patent in the case of facial (or any) injuries resulting in immeduate bruising/ swelling etc. Schools cannot issue pain relief but it is your choice as patent whether she should have any, therefore your right to be informed. You would be u to be arsey about it as you'd probably gain less respect/ sympathy despite being in the right!

On the other side of the argument my friend works in a school office and has been verbally abused by parents when they have been called to collect an injured/sick child.

We have a injury slip that allows the trained first aider to make a judgement call on whether the child seems well enough to stay at school. I volunteer in my children's school and Ds2 who is 6 had an eyelash in his eye, the school had tried to get it out with an eye wash but weren't successful.

Luckily I was in school that day and sorted him out myself by putting a clean finger on his eyeball and sweeping it out, but I could imagine the reaction of many of the busy school Mums being called out of work to deal with an eyelash in their child's eye.

Clearly you are upset, but you do not know how your daughter presented after the injury. Somehow you believe that she was held hostage, sobbing in the corner whilst the sub rubbed her hands with glee Clearly she seemed well enough to be in school. If they thought for one moment that she should be sent home, she would have been.

I think you should mention it to the teacher, but be prepared for them telling you that she never complained about being in pain.

Our school reports all marks to the face or head, and bangs to the head, to the parent, as a matter of course

Is it possible that she didn't look to bad initially, when she first returned to the class after first aid. The teacher looked her over and thought she did not look too bad. Then the sweeling and obvious visible signs of injury gradually got worse through the day and, because the teacher is with her all the time, she didn't notice it looking worse?

I think I would expect to be told, but then my kids go to a school where my DS has a poo which is not solid and they ring me! He has never had a solid poo in his life and probably never will. They know this!!!

They are now over ringing when the diva my DD6 tells them she has tummy ache though!!

TOO not TO. DD2*

Thank you for all the sympathy!

Dd is a tough little cookie and is sleeping.
I am going to go into school tomorrow and speak calmly to the class teacher. Whilst there is nothing I can do with regards to this situation I would like to register my concern with how the situation was handled and hopefully have them relook/ensure the policy to call parents in this kind of situation is adheared to.

Our school keeps paracetamol and ibuprofen and we all signed to say ours DCs can have it and the school must call us first to ask for verbal permission too.

If she said she was in pain they should have given her medicene with your permission if not then there is nothing more they could have done.

I would have been upset if someone hadn't seen me straight away when I picked her up. At DSs school if there is an accident form in the book bag they have a quick word first to explain what has happened as the incidents I am talking about are pretty minor compared to your DDs.

Forgot to say - definitely speak to them!

ALmost exactly the same happened to my DD (6) - she fell down and got a black eye at morning play. It swelled up during the day but they gave her no pain relief as "it looked worse than it was"?! She was horribly grazed and black and blue with one completely closed eye when I collected her at 3. That evening DD said she couldn't see clearly - A&E confirmed that she had fractured her skull, and had been sitting in class for 5 hours with no pain relief.

I don't know how I kept my cool but spoke to the teacher v calmly the next morning. SHe cried, which helped as at least I realised that she felt like shit about it and it would therefore probably not happen again. I left it there and never mentioned it again but I completely feel your pain.

If there had been a nose bleed and a cut lip I would expect to be called (and would be in both primary and 2ndary schools)

I would also expect teacher to come over to talk to me about what happened.

Yes I would complain about how it was handled. Not over the top but simply state that you felt it was handled badly.

DS1 had a nasty fall in the playground and split his lip so pretty horrid swelling - I was called straightaway to come and collect him - I'd have thought that should be the norm with quite a nasty fall to be honest.

So agree OP you should suggest that in future parents are called.

Hope your DD feels better tomorrow and you too

YANBU and the lack of compassion on this thread for an injured little girl is depressing.
I would have been really pissed off if any of my kids had sustained an injury severe enough to cause a nosebleed and they didn't ring me to at least discuss what to do. I think the school was incredibly slack - you have every right to ask them to be a bit more proactive in future.

hope SS is okay -she's bound to be sore tomorrow

That should be DD obviously - really need to put on my glasses

OP, YADNBU.

I'm a teacher of 6 year olds and if one had an injury like that, I'd expect the mother to be phoned straight away and I'd certainly be out to see the mum at home time.

A blow to the face like this, plus a fall, can leave a child very shaken, as someone else said. I once had an 11 year old who tripped while skipping in the playground. She hit her face very hard and had a huge lump/bruise.

I took her in myself, her Gran was called as she was nearby. I bought her a tube of arnica to put on her bruise, obviously I gave it to her Granm who was very grateful for it and for my concern. She stayed off the next day as she was sore and shaken.

(I have quite often bought arnica cream for children who have had very bad bumps, sent it home in the Boots bag with a note to explain how effective it is for bruises. I speak from experience!)

I'd be furious if I wasn't informed, tbh. A blow to the face/head, should be closely monitored. We once had a boy taken to hosp with concussion after a fall.

I would go in and speak to the HT, but not all guns blazing! You can express your displeasure calmly and ask for an assurance that you will be informed if she has another bad fall like this.

(I would have said nothing as a child, and my Mum was the DHT! I did actually once have a bad fall, a boy slammed into me, I fell, battered my face on the ground, was stunned for a few mins. Someone took me in, no ice packs in those days. I'm sure I saw my mum and got a hug, but that was it. I had a terrible black eye which turned every colour of the rainbow.

I was 10 then. Another time, an iron drainpipe which had rusted, fell on my head!!! I am absolutely not kidding!!! I was 7 at the time. I remember a couple of older girls taking me up to the staffroom to see my Mum, but there was no incident report or anything. Hell, we didn't even have calpol at home or anything like that! I'm going back almost 40 years here!

I also once slammed the car door shut on my thumb, I can still remember how painful it was, and for days after. Still no calpol. Just didn't seem to exist. And no trip to A &E. We live in a different world now!

Sorry for digressing, just noting that we tend to medicate our children much more easily now, rightly or wrongly. That's not a criticism of anyone, I do it myself. If anything, I feel irked that I wasn't given any medicine for these accidents 'cos they weren't run of the mill! Could you imagine a pipe falling on a child's head these days???!!!)

Dd1 does not like a fuss being made. When she's had accidents at school she has denied any pain/injury and refused to go to the medical room. On one occasion I am fairly certain (from descriptions from friends) she spent most of lunch in shock after a nasty fall. The problem is you cannot expect the staff to know she needs painkillers etc. if they deny that they feel bad, and I know dd1 does this.

Dd2 otoh has a fine collection of sickbags and "I bumped my head" letters. I don't think she has many more accidents-just likes to make more of a fuss.

I picked dd2 up from nursery last month after she'd had a fall. She was crying non-stop but the teachers thought they could leave it till I came to collect her and see how she was. I took her to hospital and she'd fractured her arm.

If they don't bother informing the parents of a two year old what chance do primary kids stand?

I would be annoyed if I were you at the apparent lack of concern in informing you. A note in the book bag isn't really very nice.

I'm totally with you OP. Just because your dd was not making a fuss does not mean she was not in pain. I teach Y1 and in my school an injury of that degree would definitely have warranted a phonecall home. When we phone we don't always ask the parents to come. We let them know what happened, what treatment has been given and if it's not horrendous, we let the parents decide if they want to come or not. Some come, some don't, but at least we've given them the chance.
I hope your dd is feeling better in the morning.

OP I agree with you. You should have been contacted at the time so that you could make the decision on whether to collect your child or come and administer pain relief to her.

I would always call parents under these circumstances, it's their right, imo, to make that judgement.

However, complaining might not be the best way to go about this as it won't achieve anything. Instead, I would speak to the teacher and say that if anything like this happens again you want to be contacted. Also, let them know that your dd will not always complain verbally if she is in pain so they should be aware that she might be suffering in silence.

If staff know parents' wishes it helps when making decisions like this. You would be amazed at how differently parents react, I have one parent of a child in my class who does not want to be disturbed at work, under any circumstances, except if the child is already on their way to A&E . They actually get quite cross if I call them at work to say their child has been sick and needs to go home.

I don't think school handled it well. Best of luck when you go in.

OFGS. Of course they should have phoned OP.

It was a nasty-looking injury and a child that age is not capable of deciding whether they need help.

Hope she's ok OP. Tell us what they say.

OP - School should have called. I have in the past had a telephone call along the lines of "Nothing to worry about, Mrs Scholes, but young Scholes has has a bump. We've done XY and Z and you don't need to come to collect him. Would you like to speak to him?" It makes DS2 feel better to know that I know what's happened and that I'm not overly concerned. It might be useful to find out the procedures the school says it follows.