For getting sick of people being disparaging or feeling sorry for me for having 2 boys?

[Belladonna666]

I have 2 boys. My husband only has brothers. His dad is only has brothers and so on. Basically there are no girls in the family for many years. They all see "girls" as the "ultimate prize" because of this.

Both times I was pregnant with my sons (and with their first grandchild) my MIL said that she hoped I was giving her a granddaughter. She said this again with my second son. She then forgot his birthday. She later said that she is upset that she doesn't have a granddaughter and constantly goes on about little girls.

Yesterday my FIL said that he didn't want any more grandsons (he has 5) and "enough with the boys, next one better be a girl". He said this in front of my older son.

I am constantly being told by strangers in the street "oh poor you" when they see I have 2 boys. Other comments are "don't you want to try for a girl", "you have your hands full" plus lots of other derogatory comments and even some from mums of girls saying how grateful they were to only have girls and boys are too much hassle, ugly clothes, rude and noisy etc.

This is getting me so down. I find 2 boys really difficult to handle as it is and was very on the fence about having a second child as it is (OH persuaded me). I'm starting to regret having my second and these comments are making me feel like I have got the "booby prize" or I am a freak for having 2 sons. It feels like in the West boys are not prized in the same way that in China girls are not prized.

I think the China comparison is a bit much but I do know what you mean!

My sister has 3 lovely DS and no girls, and she told me she does get some comments about it like at her friend's baby shower (who is also having a boy) guests were saying things like didn't you want a girl and implying boys are the second choice! It's a shame and a bit that some people do seem to think like that!

I have (much wanted) boys and my parents have 6 grandsons and no granddaughters (but my mum & dad had nothing but girls so they are quite relieved).

I have never had a single comment from anyone regarding not having a daughter.

People who judge children on their sex annoy me so much. The 'boys are such a handful" or "girls are bitchy" comments are just so ignorant.

FWIW I had two girls and they were never bitchy. If they got into any serious arguments they occasionally settled it with a punch on the nose..but that's another story....

Hhhmmm,

We have 3 DSs yet I can understand other people's comments as I do believe it is a natural reaction to 3 of the same.

I remember as a child, my brother had a friend who was one of 3 boys and I remember at the age of maybe 12, feeling sorry for the mum. Little did I imagine that 30 years later that would be me.

I do believe it's natural to think like that with relation to other people, until you are in that situation, then it becomes the most natural thing in the world and you couldn't care less what sex they are.

What people have to do is learn to consider other's feelings, but after thousands of years of human evolution, we still haven't learnt to do that yet.

I have two ds. I have never had a negative comment.

I have one of each and always get the comment ' I bet you're glad etc.' I just say I am grateful to have happy children and would not have cared if DD had come along as a DS2 as my little boy is wonderful and who would not want to duplicate that.

OP, I have two sons and I count my blessings everyday that they are happy and healthy and living fulfilled and contented lives. They have now grown to manhood with DS1 the proud father of... yes, you guessed it...two much adored sons!

I did receive a little negativity after the birth of DS2. Just random comments from people I did not know very well or care very much about their thoughts.

BUT I do clearly remember a complete stranger looking at my newborn and toddler and saying to me "Never mind . You can always try again!" Well actually I couldn't as I'd already had a hysterectomy following birth complications at the age of 22. In response to the person who said it looked like I made boys best - that was probably true - my daughter hadn't survived birth the year before DS2 was born :(

I suppose what I am trying to say in my long winded way is that many people think without speaking; for some reason, pregnant women and babies always seem to bring out the bluntest comments from both family members and random strangers. At a time when hormones can be particularly rampant, thoughtless (and sometimes well meaning) comments are taken to heart.

Enjoy your boys and I am sure the people who are important to you will love and enjoy them too.

Oh and just wanted to add my DIL is thrilled with her boys as she now feels she is part of a special and exclusive 'mum to boys' club.
You can be a member too

We have 3 ds's and after ds3 was born had comments asking if we'd been hoping for a girl . I would just reply with a laugh saying I wouldn't know what to do with a girl.

I can understand the 'hands full' comments though as in this house, the boys were /are a handful just because the had so much energy. This got worse once the teenage hormones hit and they now fight constantly. That said, I love them dearly and they are lovely young men in their own right when they are on their own .

Without wishing to generalise, having spoken to other mums, it seems a girl added to the mix can be a calming influence whereas all boys can result in a quite boisterous household!

OP, please be proud of your boys and don't listen to others' negative comments and don't forget, toddler groups are great places for wearing toddlers out!

I have had no negativity to having 2 boys but have perhaps had a similar experience to Loriens, having lost a girl. I am delighted with my 2 [touch wood] healthy boys.

People say this sort of thing no matter what the circumstance for example i have 4 girls and one boy and all i ever hear is "oh poor thing surrounded by girls" or "he must feel left out". I just reply with something along the lines of "he gets on really well with his sisters and i imagine he will have his pick of girlfriends when hes older - friends older brothers always seem so in demand" people normally just back off then