having sex whilst sharing their bed with a sleeping baby

[tittytittyhanghang]

AIBU to not be that surprised at this (Daily Mail Link Disclaimer) -I think the jist of this is that a third of Swedish parents admit to having sex whilst sharing their bed with a sleeping baby I don't find it particularly shocking, isn't this what happens in most countries where co sleeping in the usual way?

We do occasionally but it's quiet, slow, snuggly sleepy sex more about affection than passion.

The passionate sort of sex couldn't happen with the baby in the bed as

a) he would bounce out
b) i can feel affectionate / intimate with DH with DS there, but not horny
c) it would wake DS up - never a good idea

etc

I have done when the baby is in the cot/basket next to bed. We never really co-slept though so it didn't really come up.

Sex whilst BFing? I can't get my head round the logistics of that!

It's the IKEA way. Affordable solutions for better living etc etc

I've got no problem with sex with baby in room or bed sleeping.

But do think that there is something very disturbing in breast feeding while having sex. As I said Scottishmummy to me it's like involving child in sexual act. Which is v different...

The argument that baby won't know just doesn't wash. Babies wouldn't know if they were being abused. Wouldn't make it right...

thats a shocking comparison to make rowan
its not comparable to abusing a child at all,and well do or dont they know

We may have to agree to disagree as I think having sex while breast feeding is involving the child in a sexual act. And therefore abusive...

your way off mark
quite sad you've brought abuse into it

Wouldn't the baby bounce of the bed?
I just cannot see why any one would feel comfortable enough to have sex whilst a small baby is sleeping next to them?
What happened to using a moses basket or carrycot or a playpen??-or even a pushchair even if just for the purpose of having 'alone' time

The sex while breastfeeding is an odd one,and yes...It IS a sexual act because either one or other (or both) of the adults is aroused by it.Hence the not waiting until the baby is fed before getting down to it.

Nobody is that horny that they can't wait until the baby is fed to begin sex.Doing it during the feed most definitely suggests that one of the adult gets turned on by it.

Thanks Hilda.

As I said before no probs with sex with baby in bed. It's the involvement that is the problem for me. I agree someone is getting aroused by it....

I wouldn't do it, I can't do it when the bloody cat's there never mind when we have a baby in bed. :o

I don't think many of our grandparents would have been born if their own parents hadn't had sex whilst sharing a bed with one, two or more children. Unless your grandparents were born to very rich parents with nannies and the like.

it has been happening for centuries - why does it make a story?

co-sleepers here, 5 children in 11 yrs so yes we had sex with baby/toddlers in the bed, we have a futon so no bouncing and a toddler bed next to the bed so if we wanted a bit more space we could shift them or we have sex elsewhere in the house.

its just never an issue.

and i remember the sex and bfeding thread, think we are talking about a baby that was just doing the comfort sucking/sleepy feeding where they are latched and mum and dad were in spoons postion, not energetic sex, just more of a very close cuddle, not all sex has to be about orgasm etc it can just be about being close and connecting as a couple. a sleeping baby wont have a clue anyway and its not a SS issue.

*disclaimer havent read the link to the DM, really cant be bothered, i had enough cliches from my own mother who assumed that a baby in bed with us meant no sex and that dp would leave (rolls eyes)

BF isn't arrousing even though having DH do much the same thing is.

Thus although DH and I certainly hugged up together and flirted lightly while I was feeding, there is a point at which it definitely feels right to declare adults only and put the baby firmly in their cot.

Having sex or mastbating to orgasm while feeding would feel totally wrong, even with a tiny baby who couldn't possibly know.

some people do find bfeeding arousing tho, not that i ever did, big leaky breasts with overflow issues not much of a turn on for me or dp! but the book 'fresh milk' is an interesting read and covers many of these issues :) along with lots of others.

I couldn't even have sex if the dog was in the room....

doesnt he like to watch then?

I agree 5madthings, I vaguely remember the sex while breastfeeding thread and the scenario I remember is as you describe, very familiar and I can't even remember whether we've done that or not (although definitely have with the baby in the bed - huge bed and very slow sleepy sex of course). But I have known lots of people who breastfed at very distinct feed times and didn't co-sleep and can understand that it's difficult to imagine if you have no experience of it.

DC2 and 3 wouldn't be here if I disagreed with this!

Personally u thunk it's very wrong to have sex in bed with a child in it. a sleeping baby in a cot is another matter entirely.

Personally I think it's very wrong to have sex in bed with a child in it. a sleeping baby in a cot is another matter entirely.

Would you feel completely happy if at sunday lunch next week your mother says to you; "Well, of course your fatherand I used to bonk all the time when you were asleep in bed next to us. It's done you no harm."

I would DIE.

Stop getting your fannies seen to whilst your baby is RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

Dirty dogs.

"
and i remember the sex and bfeding thread, think we are talking about a baby that was just doing the comfort sucking/sleepy feeding where they are latched and mum and dad were in spoons postion, not energetic sex, just more of a very close cuddle"

I think that the preferred term was "gentle lurve-making"

But bupcakes, tbh if my parents ever refer to any kind of sex between them I feel my toes curling. Do accept it happened, perhaps still does. Don't wish to hear about it.

But would you feel comfortable even knowing that your dad was slipping saveloy up your mum's mimsy whilst you were a sleeping baby, dreaming of milk and no nappy time? Right next to them? I would want to gouge my own brain out.