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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about my spa day birthday 'present'?

116 replies

Bethshine82 · 15/06/2012 22:35

So me and two close friends all celebrated milestone birthdays this year.

For my friends' birthdays I made them a little photo collage as well as buying them gifts if around £30-40 which is more than I'd usually spend but they are close friends and it is a special birthday.

My birthday was last. They have me cards and said instead of buying me a gift they thought it would be nice to go for a spa day all together. Although spa days aren't really my thing I agreed and they told me the name of the place they'd looked at. I looked at it after and it indeed looked nice and packages started at £50.

Anyway fast forward six weeks and I've seen them a few times since my birthday but nothing has been arranged. I then got a text from friend tonight giving me dates she was available and asking me to check with other friend and then book if for the three of us. She ended by saying she and other friend would then pay me back for their packages.

So basically I'm being asked to arrange my own birthday present and pay for it too. I appreciate they are having to pay for their own spa treatments but they will benefit from them. They both work and I'm a sahm. To be honest I can't really afford £50 this month on something I'm not that fussed about doing.
Would it have killed them to chip in £25 each and organise this for me? It's actually the thoughtlessness more than the money that upsets me.

AIBU to be a bit snippy in my response? Have not replied yet!

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 16/06/2012 19:28

I can't believe they're giving you s gift that you're supposed to pay your yourself Shock. Leave the bastards! Angry

shushpenfold · 16/06/2012 19:29

Gobsmacked at this! This is not a birthday treat at all, but an excuse to go to the spa.

whatinthewhatnow · 16/06/2012 20:01

YANBU at all. there's no aspect of it which is actually a present for you. text them back and tell them you don't really like spas and can't really afford it. then find some nicer friends.

ReneandGeorgetteMagritte · 16/06/2012 21:34

That's terrible! We do sometimes go away together on friend's birthdays or to a spa and the birthday person will pay for themselves, but we bring gifts- the spa/hotel is just a way to celebrate it iyswim.

Perhaps they are thinking of buying you a fabulous treatment while you are there?

Krumbum · 17/06/2012 03:46

How is this a birthday present if your paying for yourself?

CaliforniaLeaving · 17/06/2012 04:36

Grin I love TheHouseOnTheCorner's idea. Do it!

Gingerodgers · 17/06/2012 06:05

Any word? I've often found that those quickest to take offence, are the first to give it! I am sure that they really don't realise that they have done anything wrong. Even a drink or meal out instead would be tainted by this now. I do think if you want to stay friends, then you probably want to let this go. Good luck

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 17/06/2012 10:23

Thanks stuffit - I shall try it when the need arises

JamieandTheOlympicTorch · 17/06/2012 10:25

OP - I wonder what the response will be. I suspect they haven't "got it" yet

dittany · 17/06/2012 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch · 17/06/2012 11:13

Glad you've sacked the idea - hope they get the hint!

I honestly doubt they will suggest anything else for your birthday though - and you may have to consider letting them go as friends, since they're so thoughtless and selfish. :(

talkingnonsense · 17/06/2012 18:16

Any word from them op?

RandomMess · 17/06/2012 18:26

Actually I'm seething on your behalf Angry

SwedishEdith · 17/06/2012 18:36

The thing is, they've found plenty of time to research the various spa options but not to just buy you a nice present. They can't be that busy.

I'd sack the whole idea now as it's tainted by bad feeling. How horrible for you.

GodisaDj · 17/06/2012 20:44

Any update OP?

Trioofprinces · 19/06/2012 07:49

Another bump! Any update OP?

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