To think that you shouldn't....

[mangomadness]

.....visit a newborn baby and nursing mother if somebody in your house has viral tonsillitus? You've been looking after them, learned over baby for 2 hours and didn't tell me until you're left about said virus. That's the tonsillitus that spreads. I have a poorly baby desperately fighting the virus, it's breaking my heart, I'm a first time mum and it's agony knowing I can't just make my baby better.

Also I now have tonsillitus.... Feeding every 2 hours when my boobs and nips are painful thanks to all my swollen glands, was not what I wanted as a present.

It's also known by these visitors that I get severe, can't talk, can't eat and can hardly drink tonsillitus if I'm near somebody who has it. I'm getting the bastards whipped out whilst I'm on mat leave.

I'm probably going to get flamed for being too precious but I need to vent!

YANBU

You didn't murder them on the spot? Then you can take a sainthood to go with that YANBU.

YANBU, I am shocked that anyone would do this.

Bet they don't feel guilty because it's their right to see their grandchild whenever they want. Don't be such an insecure and selfish dil. You should be grateful they're still alive AND showing an interest in their gcs.

That's what the usual dil haters on MN will trot out anyway.

After 3 hours of snatched naps in the last 24 hours, sweating my swollen tits off, shivering to fuck, and having to take lo to out of hours gp because she's getting worse.....I'm FURIOUS! If they weren't 'family' I'd have nothing more to do with them, not just based on this last episode. I can't believe how stupid people actually are, and in the near future I'm expected to leave lo alone with these people? I don't think so, god knows what would happen! I'm not saying that they can't see lo but leaving them alone I don't think is going to happen until things change.

YANBU or precious your visitor is an idiot years gone by mothers and newborns were advised to not come into contact with people for a few weeks ( i think) to avoid illness,

Do they know how ill they've made you? I really think your DP ought to tell them what they've done.

So, so stupid and inconsiderate.

Poor you and poor baby :(

YANBU at all. What a completely insensitive, selfish thing to do. Then again, it's the sort of thing my MIL would do! I had to suffer the baby snatching (plus numerous other things) & the DH unwilling to say anything for months. I finally lost the plot & had a blazing row with his whole family when DS was 4 months old. Let your Mum ring them! At least that way you don't have to deal with it on top of being ill & having a newborn.
I hope you are both feeling better soon & that your DH grows some before the situation gets worse.

YADNBU
I never fail to be astounded at people's stupidity.
Both of you get well soon and when you feel better, make sure you treat yourself- when you eventually get a chance to!

YADNBU, selfish bastards. A couple of people deliberately avoided visiting me when I gave birth in December because they were ill and didn't want us to catch it. Hope you feel better soon x

OP, why don't you phone them, they may realise the damage they have done when you cannot actually speak to them on the phone.

Seriously, your DH has to say something, its that or you will at a later date and you will probably explode. They need to understand what they have done to their GC.

Hope you get better soon, have some flat lucozade (the only good thing about tonsilitus) and some .

Don't let them visit for at least 3 weeks and every time they visit tell them they need to wash their hands, use anti bac hand gel and wear a face mask, and remind them very loudly and clearly that they don't want to give you and their precious grandchild any more nasty bugs do they?

Be over dramatic and don't let them forget how selfish they were easy it is to spread nasty germs.

The selfish pair of fuckwitted twats.

Your DH has to say something, if he doesn't then he's as bad as they are. They have made his wife and newborn child ill because of their selfishness. He needs to grow a pair and make sure they know the seriousness of what they have done.

I'd bloody skin them alive.

Reminds me of that episode of Miss Marple. Some uber fan met an actress she loved, she had measles and the actress contracted them and her unborn baby ended up dying when it was born... Something along those lines. I know that's an extreme comparison but it's the stupidity of people not realising that an illnes they have and are coping with can have a more severe effect on someone else.

let your mum have a real go at your DH . he needs the motivation to be direct with IL's

Email them? Tell them they have given you the illness and that in the future, they need to stay away. Explain that your health and babies health is the most important thing and highlight how awful it has been for you.

You poor love x
That's all I can say really.

naturalbaby has given great advice. As have all the people who told you to let your mum lose!!

Selfish gits. I got horrendous tonsillitis when DS was 10 weeks, DH had to hold DS in place to nurse as I could barely move. You must feel awful nursing a newborn. And your poor little baby :(

Your DH really needs to say something firm, doesn't he care how ill you both are? His newborn baby is already at the docs because of HIS parents. How would he react if it had been your mum?

YANBU or remotely precious.

unleash your mum. unfuckingbelievable.

temperatures in newborns can be bad news, and mums post partum have depressed immune systems

YADNBU - your inlaws are being selfish and spoilt

get your DH some balls or go to your mums to be looked after properly - I hope your DH isn't back to work on Monday?

You poor, poor love :(

Oh poor, poor you! I am so upset on your behalf and yes, do be aware of looking after your mental health right now - this kind of additional stress (of illness and feeling uncared for) is not helpful. Your inlaws need telling. If dh won't, you'll have to do it yourself.

Or dial the number then hand the phone to him and do a Bob Dylan style set of poster prompts - start mild and then when he is in the habit of reading, throw in a rant.

~My darling wife is very sick.
~My darling child is very sick with temperatures dangerous for a newborn.
~They caught tonsilitis from you.
~It is not sensible to come near a newborn when ill or at risk.
~It was unkind to visit us with an illness you know your darling daughter in law, the mother of your precious grandchild, suffers from really badly.
~Please do not bring illness into our house again.
~You are not welcome in this house for a year because you are stupid and selfish and I have to put my wife and child before you because I am a grown-up now.

Another plan might be to phone them at intervals before each visit, checking that they are healthy - maybe start with daily, working up to hourly...

How are you and your precious little one feeling now?

Had to go to out of hours gp for her :( sounded like she was constantly trying to clear her throat but v rattley (sp) and mucousy, thought she would choke. She projectile vomited earlier, I was impressed with the power and the amount! She had a nice relaxing bath which she enjoyed (my first time bathing her, she screams when dh does it so I can't bear it), has been feeding well but very sleepy, and unhappy which is more than understandable! It's definitely in her throat, so keeping close eye on temp and wet nappies.
As for me, I'm just upset by it all, I was so careful when I was carrying her. Guess that it's something that I'm going to have to get used to, her being ill/hurt and it being out of my control, just didn't think it would be so soon!
Dh also having to, rightly, run about after us. Passing her to me, carrying her etc as I physically feel unable and last thing she needs is to he dropped.