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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the TA is wrong, wrong, wrong.

61 replies

MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:22

My DD 6 has a little issue with her heart. I say little issue, because that is obv how the cardiologist sees it, but quite honestly, thinking about it scares me to death.
He did say that the most important thing is to make sure she doesn't become overweight (while looking my fat body up and down and asking if I can manage that(.
She does lots of different excercise throughout the week and is a child who does not sit still anyway. She is, as I am typing, bouncing up and down just for the fun of it.
She has two weetabix for breakfast. Often followed by a piece of fruit.
For her packed lunch she has a sandwich, which is one slice of bread. A sausage roll. a cereal bar, a bag of crisps, some more fruit. As well as a drink of squash.
I think this is plenty, bordering on too much, but as she is slim and as she should be I am happy to continue to let her have this.
She does love her food and may be like me in that she doesn't have that off switch. I feel as the adults in hr life it is for us to control that for her at this age.
She asked for a banana from the lovely school cook the other day and got a comment from one of the TAs that 'you don't have enough in you lunchbox'. Not this TA is someone I like and respect but this made me angry.
Apart from anything else, I am the best person to decide what is enough or otherwise.
Not sure what to do, but AIBU to be a little upset about this?

OP posts:
Magneto · 14/06/2012 19:26

IMO that is a lot in a lunchbox for a six year old. When I was little we had a sandwich, fruit, yoghurt and a bag of crisps. We also had a kitkat or penguin for morning break.

Magneto · 14/06/2012 19:27

Sorry, what I'm saying is that I'd give her either the sandwich or the sausage roll but not both.

bamboostalks · 14/06/2012 19:30

Why was she asking the school for a banana if she is on packed lunch?

LineRunner · 14/06/2012 19:30

Well, you heard the comment from the TA 2nd hand, so it might have been said differently. It is enough food, though.

McHappyPants2012 · 14/06/2012 19:31

The lunchbox needs to be a bit heathier.

Moomoomie · 14/06/2012 19:31

It is a fair amount of food, but not slow release energy, the sausage roll and crisps are very fat heavy and quite empty calories.
My 5 year old has a sandwich, one or two slices, mostly two. Cucumber, tomato, a small squeeze yogurt and some fruit, strawberries, melon, grapes, easy to eat stuff.

ObiWan · 14/06/2012 19:31

It does sound like plenty for lunch.

I'd imagine it was a humourous remark from the TA. I have often said 'don't your parents feed you' to a visiting gannet, I don't actually think they're being starved at home [grin

mynewpassion · 14/06/2012 19:31

Do nothing. Your daughter decided, not you, that she didn't have enough food and asked for more.

Is the school going to charge you for the banana?

LindyHemming · 14/06/2012 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thistledew · 14/06/2012 19:34

Honestly? Crisps and a sausage roll everyday will provide a high salt and fat dose. Cereal bars will contain yet more salt, and, depending on brand, quite possibly a hefty dose of sugar. Fruit is ok in moderation, but if she is getting all her 5 a day from it, will be loading her up with fructose, which is not great for regulating blood sugars.

Replacing the sausage roll with another sandwich made from brown bread and containing a mixture of protein (ham, cheese, egg) and vegetable (roast veg or salad), and swapping the crisps for veg sticks and maybe a dip, would be a start towards a more sustainably healthy diet. It would be likely to fill her up more so that she doesn't feel she has to ask for extras.

youarekidding · 14/06/2012 19:36

DS (7) has sandwich, crisps, cake bar and an apple. He has fruit at breaktime too. He also has some straight after school.

I would also only give sandwich or sausage roll - I don't think your giving too much.

YANBU to be upset if someone has made a rude and negative comment to your DD but I would err on the side of caution about exactly what was said. Children are brilliant at saying others adults have said X thinking it means you'll listen and do it. (eg your DD wants more in her lunch!)

Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:38

In my defence, I work nights and do not actually make the lunch. I got told what she had had when I asked her dad.
I would do healthier if it was up to me, but I have little control over lunch. I put my foot well and truly down over chocolate for breakfast and weetabix is the only allowed cereal they like. They do not like porridge.
Tea is also my domain, so feel a bad lunch is not so bad in the grand scheme of things.

Bamboostalks, she was asking because she saw them there, it is as simple as that! She sees it, she wants it, hence me thinking there is no off switch.

Mynewpassion, no, I don't think they are. They had the option to say no.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 14/06/2012 19:38

And you could put a banana in her lunchbox anyway. They are pretty filling. I used to like them with a piece of granary bread, like a DIY banana sandwich.

My DS who has always been a bity fussy likes pitta slices / rice cakes and houmous.

Also cherry tomatoes. They're easy and nice to eat.

Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:39

ObiWan, it could be that, now you have said it!

OP posts:
SparklyRedShoes · 14/06/2012 19:39

Does it matter? I mean are you going to be thinking about this on your death bed? Stuff the TA and her comments. Don't waste another moment thinking about it. You are the mother. You. Not her. She doesn't matter. If she says something to your face, then you can tackle her.

LineRunner · 14/06/2012 19:41

Just seen your post.

Does your DP not care? You will both need to shop for what's right, and put it in your DD's lunchbox. It takes 5 minutes. Tell him!

Also a carton of juice not squash is just as simple. Or are you doing the sugar-free option?

Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:41

LineRunner, I LOVE banaba toastied, but DD won't eat them!! She does liek bananas a lot and gets them often. I think on this day she had had a banana after breakfast and had strawberries in her lunchbag.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 14/06/2012 19:42

If she likes bananas, give her bananas.

(Sounds like a mad slogan....)

Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:42

SparklyRedShoes, of course you are right and I would probably be thinking the same if someone else had posted this.

OP posts:
Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:44

LineRunner, he thinks that because he does it, he should do it his way!! This is a small issue in among many bigger ones with him. I am not going to go into them here though.

OP posts:
AdventuresWithVoles · 14/06/2012 19:44

yanbu, but I mean it in a nice way. It's a throw-away comment, not worth worrying about. Your fears about her health are making you over-sensitive.

AdventuresWithVoles · 14/06/2012 19:45

oops, yabu, I meant, got distracted!

Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:45

Always sugar free squash, that is all that is ever in the house.
She won't drink juice.

OP posts:
Original poster
MammaTJ · 14/06/2012 19:47

AdventuresWithVoles, you may have hit the nail on the head. I am very a bit overprotective with her and take her to the doctors far more than I did with DD1 and DS.

OP posts:
MaryPoppinsBag · 14/06/2012 19:52

Maybe the TA said 'don't you have enough in that lunch box?' (jokingly) - easy to mix the words up.