To think that the TA is wrong, wrong, wrong.

[MammaTJ]

My DD 6 has a little issue with her heart. I say little issue, because that is obv how the cardiologist sees it, but quite honestly, thinking about it scares me to death.
He did say that the most important thing is to make sure she doesn't become overweight (while looking my fat body up and down and asking if I can manage that(.
She does lots of different excercise throughout the week and is a child who does not sit still anyway. She is, as I am typing, bouncing up and down just for the fun of it.
She has two weetabix for breakfast. Often followed by a piece of fruit.
For her packed lunch she has a sandwich, which is one slice of bread. A sausage roll. a cereal bar, a bag of crisps, some more fruit. As well as a drink of squash.
I think this is plenty, bordering on too much, but as she is slim and as she should be I am happy to continue to let her have this.
She does love her food and may be like me in that she doesn't have that off switch. I feel as the adults in hr life it is for us to control that for her at this age.
She asked for a banana from the lovely school cook the other day and got a comment from one of the TAs that 'you don't have enough in you lunchbox'. Not this TA is someone I like and respect but this made me angry.
Apart from anything else, I am the best person to decide what is enough or otherwise.
Not sure what to do, but AIBU to be a little upset about this?

That's not a good lunch, and frankly blaming your husband is a poor excuse, and not fair on your child - but that's been said.
The thing that struck me, is your comment about her 'being like you and not having an off switch'. Helping her to eat well is about more than just her lunch box on any given day - it's about her while attitude. Hence having crisps every day etc is bad as much for the habit forming as it is for the fat in any one packet on a particular day. It sounds like you're unnecessarily projecting - and possibly excusing - her behaviour.
Tbh, most likely - she just fancied a banana. They're nice, and pretty healthy. Why does that have to be all about an off switch?

I bet you didn't think you'd set yourself up for the lunchbox mafia to attack did you when you wrote that post.

You say she has no off switch but it's extremely rare that people don't.

Some people do have a medical condition that means they never stop feeling hungry but that again is extremely rare so please don't assume this about your child...that's almost like 'writing her off' in a sense.

Most children are naturally greedy, will boredom eat and will comfort eat unless distracted.

How many kids would be happy with bread and butter every time they 'fancied' something to eat?

Hardly any of them would, but if they had 'no off switch' they certainly would.

Just make sure she has healthy snacks and not too much stodge in her lunch box. If anything, try to get her interested in break time clubs or games...that way she'll be more interested in getting out to play them than eating large lunches and snacks.

There are no lunchtime clubs, she goes to loads though. She goes to DASH (do activity, stay healthy)club twice a week. She goes to ballet, tap and plays rugby in season. She goes to Girls Brigade.
Nice idea whoever said make her lunch before I go to bed but I do not go to bed at night, I go to work. If I was going to bed, I would make it when I got up!! Not so bad today, as I haven't worked, I am home and I will make a more MN pleasing lunch!
NovackNGood, I did expect a lot of people to miss the point but maybe not all of them

WorraLiberty, she has no off switch!! Seriously, if she sees it, she will eat it. Whether it is an age thing or not, I do not know. I am hardly writing her off, I really do control her eating at home and hide food. She will steal food from her DBs plate if not supervised and she loves him very much!

I think the TA was probably making some sort of joke or point, not suggesting that your daughter didn't have enough items or quantity of food.

As an aside, is her heart problem one that would be affected by the sort of high salt, processed foods you've listed in her lunchbox being given to her day in day out? (sorry, don't know a lot about heart conditions, am just thinking of the food people talk about eating for a 'healthy heart'. No offence is meant.)

I get the sense from what you posted in response to others about the lunch itself that you feel helpless about what goes in her lunchbox. If you shop differently, then the food that is available to be put into a lunchbox would be different. There's also the option of preparing the lunch the day before (I know you said you work nights, but before you head out to work), if you decide that a healthy lunch lower in salt etc is something that you want to do. Although doesn't that feel annoying, to have to do that because your partner can't work out that chucking sausage rolls and crisps day in day out is not the most sensible choice!

re the no off switch - I get what you mean. I have a problem with carbs. It's like I'm addicted to them! and the more I have the more I want. Particularly with white bread and things like sausage rolls etc. The only thing that works is cutting it out completely. Going through almost a withdrawal . Give me a salad and I feel like I haven't eaten . I once saw a doctor who explained that it is like an addiction! Your body does something with it that sort of gives you a 'high' (not an actual 'high' as in drugs!) and you crave it. I used to get really angry if I wanted white bread and couldn't have any. So if you think she may have this sort of thing, then I'd suggest cutting it out, suffering the wrath and seeing her to the other side.

HecateTrivia, a balanced critisism!

I do not do the shopping either! Most of the time. I do insist on wholemeal bread. I think the only times they have had white bread is when they go to parties.

She is quite good in that she chooses the healthier options at home. She loves fruit and veg and definately gets her 5++ a day.

She would eat and eat and eat though.

Their Dad and my DS would have chips every meal with sausages, fishcakes, coated chicken!
URGH!! I fight over that all the time.
Chips once a week and then its oven chips. Fishcakes, homemade and so easy and yummy.

Nothing that I cook ever has salt in it.

Yes. My youngest is the same. It's a constant battle. Even to the point of taking food out of his hands which he's snuck into the kitchen for. I now keep track of what he's eaten and refuse to allow him more food. I'm really worried he's going to end up morbidly obese.

I got some tips from the dietician (I took the kids to see her because I was worried). Quite patronising Talked to me like I was 5! but she told us about glow foods, grow foods and go foods and the size of a portion of each is equal to the size of the palm of the hand of the person eating it. (some with fingers and some without) that is so little food! I couldn't believe it. I realised I'd really been overfeeding them and I've really got strict.

It's so hard, because every instinct as a mother is to feed and nourish your child and to take food out of their hands feels evil!

Mamma You need to take over the shopping...do it online! It's nnot hard....buy in advance what she'll have for her lunches. Sandwich, cheese, fruit, yogurt and a little biscuit or muffin. The proccessed foods are dangerous!

My DS is the same. He'd eat bread and butter til he exploded. However, he's mega active and we walk everywhere so he does need carbs. And children need fats for vitamins and to grow.

Perhaps replace the sausage roll with a boiled egg and do carrot sticks instead of the crisps? Then your cereal bar is less of a thing. Tesco do some kids mini rice cakes and mini tortillas which are nice and I give instead of salty crisps. The tortillas do contain salt but not much.