Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at getting an invitation to a birthday party three days before it happens.

52 replies

Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 18:58

So my next door neighbour rings the door bell at 7.30 my dd's bed time with an invitation for a party on Sunday. Normally I am pretty flexible, but I would actually like to take my husband out for fathers day and will not be able to if I let my dd go to the party.

It also feels like she has been invited at the last minute because someone else could not come. Last year they gave me a mornings notice that she dd was invited to her party, luckily I can walk to a toy shop and got a great present on sale

I know my husband will say let her go to the party, but for the last 2 years due to circumstance we have not been able to do much on fathers day and mothers day this year he had to go to Germany so did not much to celebrate.

Mothers day and fathers day were always celebrated by my family in a big way so I would like to celebrate with my husband, he is a great dad and I want ot show him that.

My family are thousands of miles away and so are my husbands so we don't see them obviously.

AIBU

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 14/06/2012 18:59

So don't go tot he party

It's not difficult - just decline the invite

goingtoofast · 14/06/2012 19:00

I also think it sounds like some has dropped out.

Tell her you already have plans. Also tell your husband you have made plans for fathers day and don' want to change them.

FreudianSlipper · 14/06/2012 19:02

just say thank but we have plans

what difference would it have made if you got the invitation a week ago it will still be on fathers day

you seem to be making a drama out of nothing

ovenchips · 14/06/2012 19:06

Sweet Jesus. Go or not go according to whatever suits you best. It is not an insult and no-one is trying to deliberately spoil your plans.

rasputin · 14/06/2012 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McHappyPants2012 · 14/06/2012 19:09

Mum sounds disorganised

Original poster
Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 19:12

I suppose I am annoyed at two different things, I think three days is very short notice for a party invite.

Secondly how to explain to a 4 year old she can't go to a party because I know she would prefer to go to the party than out for lunch with daddy.

OP posts:
Geeklover · 14/06/2012 19:13

Don't tell her about the party then?

LisaD1 · 14/06/2012 19:15

It's quite simple really, decline the invite and don't tell your daughter (she's 4 so hardly likely to read it!)

Where's the problem?

ObiWan · 14/06/2012 19:16

Your child is 4 years old.

She will probably enjoy either option.

Do whatever suits you. It's only an invitation, not a summons.

For all you know, it's a courtesy invitation, and they're hoping you'll decline.

Firawla · 14/06/2012 19:19

If your dd would rather go to party why not do party and do lunch or dinner out as a family too, surely the party doesn't last all day so you may be able to fit in both
Yabu to be annoyed about it, its an invite they are not forcing you to attend, its nice to give an invite

Original poster
Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 19:20

It's lovely to get a party invite, dd got one yesterday for a party next Friday, she want's to choose the present so we will go shopping tomorrow to buy one.

I just would like more that three days notice, as I said in my OP last year I had a mornings notice.

We have also a street party on Saturday.

Sorry if I think it strange to have a childs birthday party on fathers day, must just be me then.

Feel like I am drip feeding as my husband is away until tomorrow and I would like to ask him what he wants to do and probably won't get to talk to him till tomorrow night ( he is out to dinner).

I suppose I just got a bit excited today planning to do something for him which I may have to cancel as I know he will think it is more important for her to go to the party.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 19:21

The party is from 1-5pm and a half an hour drive away in a soft play centre, not sure if one of will have to stay.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 19:22

My ddd saw the invite she came down stairs with me to open the door.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 14/06/2012 19:23

If he thinks it more important, then let your DD go to the party

Fathers day isn't a big deal for me particularly ... My kids Are young still so when they Re older if they want to do stuff for their dad that's fine wih me

If its a big deal for you, then don't go to the party

NorbertDentressangle · 14/06/2012 19:26

A 4 hour party ?!?!

I was going to say that a party doesn't last all day so you can still do something for Fathers Day but a 4 hour party? Seriously?

StepOutOfSpring · 14/06/2012 19:31

YANBU. Short notice is a nuisance as it does often mean trying to juggle/rearrange things, or decline, when if only you'd known sooner you could have happily accepted.

Shock at idea of a courtesy invitation they're hoping you'll decline - do people really think so strategically?

Original poster
Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 19:38

Think I will let her got to the party and if we don't have to go other than to drive her there make afternoon tea, it's not often I bake scones and get my tea set out.

Daddy is getting a nice present plus a surprise that my daughter made at school don't know what it is is as it was wrapped when she bought it home.
She also seems very excited about fathers day told there were three more sleeps today, nothing to do with me must be school.

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 14/06/2012 19:45

Sorry if I think it strange to have a childs birthday party on fathers day, must just be me then

Since when did the world stop on that particular day for everyone except fathers? Especially given the wholly manufactured concept that is Fathers Day. But also, why tell your daughter about the party at all if it clashes with other plans? At 4 years old, you make the decisions, I'd have thought.

mynewpassion · 14/06/2012 19:50

You are not obligated to go to the party. Its only an invitation. Doesn't matter when it arrives, you are still not obligated to go to the party. Its not a big deal because you are not obligated to go to the party.

Rosebud05 · 14/06/2012 19:53

You say, "oh that's a shame, we've already made plans for Sunday. Thanks for the invite, though. Maybe the dds could get together to play soon?" and something similar to your daughter and then think no more of it.

Original poster
Pinkiemum · 14/06/2012 19:59

Never said I was obligated to go to the party, the birthday girl is my next door neighbor my daughter plays with her a lot, she will know if she goes to her party or not. Also next neighbour came to the zoo with us for my daughters birthday not sure if that is at all relevant.

DD was very upset recently when she didn't get to go to her friends party as she was not invited and was told all morning of the day of the party she was by the friend. I was upset for her but also understood that you can't invite everyone.

OP posts:
AdventuresWithVoles · 14/06/2012 19:59

DS is having his birthday outing this Sunday, on Father's day. I asked DH if he minded & he didn't. DS had an option to something else extremely fun this Saturday (& only that day). Some of us find the whole F-Day thing rather contrived, anyway.

4 hour drive for 4yos is insane, though!

AdventuresWithVoles · 14/06/2012 20:00

4 hour party, I meant, oh ignore me, think I need to go to bed.(!)

iknowwho · 14/06/2012 20:01

You are making a mountain out of a mole hill!
Do what you want to do.
And what is wrong with having impromtu parties.
You probably were an after thought to be honest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread